...or is George Bush just lame, duck or no duck?

And the hits just keep on comin':

Item


George W. Bush, in a bold example of statesmanship, has braved the storm in a skiff by courageously signing legislation the prevents the mentally ill from purchasing guns. Bravo Mr. President! It's leadership like this that will ensure the legacy of George W. Bush. Henceforth our President will be mentioned along with giants like Millard Filmore and John Tyler.

The law was introduced in 2002 but, as usual, it took a piano falling on their heads before anyone in Washington did anything. The piano in this case was the deaths of 32 students and teachers at Virginia Tech in April last year. The slaughter at VT was so horrific that even the NRA was ashamed to oppose this bill.

This law adds the certifiably insane to the growing list of Americans who will be denied their Second Amendment rights. The list currently includes quadriplegics, fetuses and the dead.

In a related story, Dick Cheney is buying all the guns he can in advance of the law's effective date. With his record over the last seven years, you can't be too careful.

___________________________________________________________________

Item

The little town of Reeves, LA is breathing a little easier this year. Thanks to the efforts of its mayor, the town will no longer be marked with the sign of the beast. For forty years the people of Reeves have been forced by Ma Bell and her progeny to live with the ignominy of the number 666 as their telephone exchange.

Mayor Scott Walker has stated that, "We are good Christian people. This has been a black eye for our town; a stigma." The mayor can now turn his attention to more important issues like removing the thirteens from all house numbers and banning the sale of deviled ham from local food stores. At least the phone company will no longer be blamed for lightning strikes and tornadoes.

Several requests have been submitted to claim the 666 exchange. Notable among the applicants are the University of Arizona, De Paul University in Chicago, Duke University and of course Wake Forrest. Certain neighborhoods in New York City are also in the running. Think Hell's Kitchen.

___________________________________________________________________

Item (this from roving reporter J. O'C)

Only in New York.

Two men were arrested in Manhattan Tuesday for attempting to cash the social security check of a dead person. No big deal, you say. Perhaps, but these two geniuses were wily. They knew that the clerk at the Pay-O-Matic check cashing establishment would recognize the check's owner by sight. No problem. Our heroes ingeniously strapped the recently departed Virgilio Cintron (it was his check) to an office chair and wheeled him through the streets to the store. The crafty pair left Mr. Cintron parked in the street and when the clerk inquired about Mr. Cintron, our villains simply pointed to the corpse slumped in the chair.

The plan was foiled by a policeman lunching at a restaurant next store. So much for the best laid plans. Both gentlemen have been charged with fraud because sadly, felony stupidity is not yet a crime. That law is probably on the President's desk hiding under the "No Guns for Crazy People" legislation.