...or are you trying to pick a side in the "Benedict vs Muhammad" main event?

Touchy! Touchy! Muslims are taking to the streets faster than Mets fans after a World Series victory (and with as much destructive force). If the American CIA could communicate across a room as well as the Muslims do around the world, Bin Laden would have been toast ten years ago. Quicker than you can say, "Ali's your uncle", the entire Islamic world is alerted, energized and rioting about the newest insult to Muhammad. No mere Danish cartoonist this time.


In case you have been meditating and not reading the papers, Pope Benedict XVI caused a stir last week by introducing his speech at Germany's Regensburg University with a quote from Manuel II Palaiologos. (He couldn't just quote Bob Dylan like everybody else?) The quote goes like this, " Show me just what Muhammad brought that was new, and there you will find things only evil and inhuman, such as his command to spread by the sword the faith he preached."

To be fair, Manuel II had an axe to grind (sorry!). During his entire reign, (1391 - 1425) he was forced to deal with the Ottoman Turks. That kind of tension can make anyone edgy. He might be forgiven for his attitude toward the Islamic community.

We will ignore, for the moment, the Christian/Catholic attempt to convert the world by the sword during both the Crusades and the colonization of South America. Let he who is without sin cast the first scimitar.

Anyway, why Benedict XVI would dig up this 600 year old chestnut and use it to preface a speech purportedly fostering inter-faith dialogue is a mystery. Whatever happened to "Good evening ladies and germs".

Having stepped into this rather large pile of camel droppings, the response from both sides has been almost comical. Naturally, all of Islam is offended. (If Islam would spend less time being offended and more time building economic stability in their countries, everyone would be better off.) Turkish leaders were especially vocal. No one would normally care what anyone in Turkey thought about anything except that Benedict is due to visit there in November. Vatican concerns that the Pope's hotel reservation was in jeopardy proved unfounded. He's still going but his tour of the taffy factory is cancelled.

The Vatican has been back-peddling since the speech was made public.

First they said that Muslims heard it wrong. That went over like a wet bernoose. Then they said that the quote did not represent the Pope's attitude on Islam. That made even less sense. If the Pontiff wanted to quote someone who's views were contrary to his, why not quote Barney Franks.

Finally, to insure that he wasn't going to end up on the fattwah short list, the Pope himself apologized, sort of, last Sunday. It was one of those, "if I offended anyone, I'm sorry" kind of apologies that have been made popular by people like Terrell Owens. That fell a little short of the "What the hell was I thinking?" kind of apology but it appears to have gotten the job done. Muslims are now free to return to protesting Danish cartoonists or whatever else they can find to take their minds off actually improving their lot in life.

As to our Pontiff:

Benedict chose his papal name out of respect for Benedict XV who reigned as Pope during WWI. That Benedict made it a strict papal policy to remain neutral in all matters of world politics. He even proposed a seven point peace plan to end the war. Regrettably, his plan was two years too early.

The point is that the Pope should probably not use his considerable influence to create conflict between 1.1 billion Catholics and 1.3 billion Muslims. In the future, he should stick to the standards, "In the Name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost, Amen. Boy, I just flew in from the Vatican and are my arms tired." Rim shot!