...or is watching people play poker on TV about the dumbest form of entertainment there is?

Please, America, don't let the French find out we're doing this. I can't tolerate being laughed at by a culture that thinks Jerry Lewis is a genius.

Once again, some boy-executive in New York stood up in a meeting and began his presentation, " Look. Americans are dumb enough to watch people bathing with scorpions and ice skating with Eric Estrada. How about a televised card game." What a Guinness moment...Brilliant.

The next step was crucial. What game to televise?

Black jack? No; too much math. Save that for Sesame Street.

Canasta? Wrong demographic.

Whist. Too complicated. (Who the hell plays Whist anymore?)

Bridge. No good. Bridge players don't watch TV...they play bridge.

Pinochle. Too ethnic.

I've got it ...Poker. It has everything. Drama, colorful characters, funny hats, and rules that even George Bush could understand. Who in America can think of poker and not conjure images of the wild west; Bill Hickock holding aces and eights; Billy the Kid squeezing those five cards as he examines each one. In "The Sting", what game did Paul Newman use to hook Robert Shaw...Poker.

And let's not forget, just like reality shows, this s**t is cheap. For less money than Mel Brooks gets for a walk-on on "Two and a-half Men", ESPN or TNT can produce hours of glorious entertainment. Players (most of whom you would cross the street to avoid) are playing Texas Hold-um for more cash than they scored from their last three Seven-Eleven hold ups.

And let's not forget the spin-offs; "Celebrity Poker" ( These are the "celebrities who's agents couldn't get them a gig on "Cooking with the Stars") and "The World Series of Poker" (I guess all the players get a bat). Stay tuned for "The McCaulay Culkin Pre-Teen Poker Challenge", "The Nichole Richie Anorexia Open" and of course, "Congressional Strip Poker" If a congressman loses a hand he's required to fulfill one campaign pledge. (Talk about incentive!)

As a confirmed, confessed "Law & Order" junkie I am in a poor position to pass judgement on the viewing habits of my fellow Americans, but people please... a card game? Even shut-ins can chose to watch, "Pimp My Ride".

For the rest of you, go for a walk, read a book, start a fight, write a blog, or better yet, just turn the TV off. You can still sit in front of it if you feel you must.

or wait...

How about you call up a few friends, get some beer and pretzels, (potato chips grease up the deck) and actually play poker. I guarantee you will have a better time and, who knows Torc, you might win a buck.

OK, so who didn't ante?