There's a reason why Louisiana Governor Bobby Jindal thinks of the Grand Old Party as the stupid party. No, it's not because they continually lose elections. That's just the end result. It's not because all Republicans are stupid. Most aren't. It's because the "big picnic" that Republicans hope will attract voters of all races and beliefs has instead attracted an amazing collection of red ants, bedbugs, cuckoos and shit-house rats. No joke! All the crazies are camped under the red banner. Every day some fool steps forward and proudly announces to the world that Republicans are unworthy of your vote.
Sure, not every conservative worships at the feet of Rush Limbaugh but all the Rush Limbaughs are conservatives. All the ignorant, hate speech: all the insane talk of the American apocalypse emanates from one camp. Blue state politicians do dumb things but they don't talk as if science and learning were concepts to be feared and condemned. Interestingly enough, tea party leaders preach to their faithful as if those people were dim-witted children. Those congregants then go home, reflect on not just the preaching but the preachers and vote to reject those preachers. The Senate races in Indiana and Missouri in 2012 are only the most recent examples.
Now we move to Virginia and the governors race in 2013. The Old Dominion has gone for Obama in the last two elections but in races inside the state, they show much more red than blue. True, both U.S. Senators from Virginia are Democrats but the State Capitol, including the Governor is very much a GOP stronghold. Recent scandals regarding Governor McDonnell and his wife haven't stopped the steady flow of repressive, draconian legislation. (The State representatives of Virginia seem more interested in probing a woman's vagina than the finances of their ethically compromised governor).
Anyway, Virginia's governors cannot succeed themselves so the race is on for a new face in 2013. Democrats have chosen Terry McAuliffe, a functional candidate whose primary success to date is as a fundraiser for the Clintons. In his previous run for VA governor he couldn't beat a nobody named Creigh Deeds in a primary. The Republicans have thrown in with Ken Cuccinelli, the current State Attorney General who began running for governor a nano-second after taking the oath as AG. Known as Cuch (People who couldn't stop Googling "Santorum" will hurt themselves laughing about "Cuch".) Cuccinelli is a screaming conservative Catholic who: 1) hates immigrants, 2) hates gays, 3) hates abortion, (big surprise) 4) loves guns, and, of course 5) hates Obamacare. He apparently feels that if he can pander to the "old South" part of the state, he won't need any of the DC suburbs where all the smart people live.
The reason that Virginia's current election ties into a discussion of "Republican=Stupid" is the GOP choice for Lieutenant Governor, one E.W. Jackson. Reverend Jackson is a colorful politician in more ways than one. He is the founder and current president of S.T.A.N.D., a tortured acronym for Staying True To America's National Destiny. He is also head of the Exodus Faith Ministries (EFM doesn't have much of a ring, does it?) Still Jackson is that rarest of birds: a black conservative, right-wing nut job. Traditionally, Virginia's black conservatives could hold their caucus at a modest table at Denny's. (Guest speaker Hermann Cain). Rev. Jackson will have no trouble being recognized at campaign events. He'll be the black man in the crowd who isn't serving hors d'oeuvres.
Mr. Jackson's uniqueness isn't limited to his race. Even among Republicans his views are, lets say, novel. Reverend Jackson is not your run-of-the-mill loony. He is a Harvard educated lawyer, an ex-marine and a bishop in his church. It's amazing how many conservative crazies are Harvard grads: Ted Cruz, Antonin Scalia , David Vitter... the list goes on. He was apparently chosen by a selection committee more worried about the color of his skin than the content of his character. Say what you will, Reverend Jackson is a character.
Among the newsworthy if cringe-inducing pronouncements from Rev. Jackson are:
"It is the principle of sin, rebellion against God and his truths which has brought about birth defects and other destructive natural occurrences."
"Planned Parenthood has done more to harm black people than the Ku Klux Klan."
"Homosexuals are perverted and very sick people."
In an blog posting published in 2010 (Yeah, like you can believe anything in a blog!) Jackson wrote that Barack Obama "sees the world from a Muslim prospective".
Rev. Jackson has also attacked the heinous, godless practice of...yoga. In his book "Ten Commandments to an Extraordinary Life" the Rev. states that yoga meditation encourages participants to empty their minds. "Satan is happy to invade the empty vacuum of your soul and possess it". Nature may abhor a vacuum but Beelzebub wants to move right in. Rev. Jackson knows of what he speaks. Having emptied his mind of virtually all of the knowledge gained at Harvard, the evil influence of Conservatism just took up residence. This man needs a right wing exorcism. Paging Max Von Sydow!
Will someone please explain why Republicans feel the need to continuously trot out one bible thumping, gag-inducing, anti-intelligence, gasbag after another? When you add EW Jackson to Sarah Palin, Michele Bachmann, Louie Gommert, Richard Mourdock, Todd Akin and a host of others, that's not a coincidence; that's a contagion. The GOP insists on mining a claim that is petering out by the hour. Smart conservatives look at E.W. Jackson and shake their heads in dismay. How does a black preacher, whose views are laughable (bordering on scary) help an already foundering candidate who might otherwise give the liberal opponent a run for his money? How can you make a case for your stance on the issues when the issue becomes your whack-job running mate? Conservatism used to be a serious political philosophy. Now it only serves to keep Jon Stuart, Stephen Colbert and Bill Maher in business.h
To paraphrase David Letterman, what can you make of a political party whose members think the birth certificate of the President is a fake but professional wrestling is real?
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