Sorry for the unfortunate choice of words but the staggering volume of bad laws working their way through many state legislatures engenders wonder, disgust and the occasional scatological reference. Barack Obama (may his smile never grow a cavity) and the Democrats may have won a few victories in the last general election but the sewer rats who took over 28 state houses in 2010 are the termites eating the presidential platform.
Naturally, most of these evil deeds are coming from the South and the Northern Midwest where disgruntled voters were less than thrilled to learn that Barack H. Obama would be beaming at them from 1600 Pennsylvania Ave. for four more years. Well, they may not be able to stop National Healthcare and they couldn't prevent a tax increase for the well-off (which most of them aren't anyway) but by God they can turn back the liberal hoard in other ways. Here are just a few of the new initiatives that are working their way through state houses in the hinterlands: Note, not all of this nonsense is actual law and most of it will never be voted on (thank God) but crazy legislators in many state houses have proposed them and some have been passed by at least one house.
Republicans are sick and tired of losing elections in the electoral college. Actually, most red state shmos don't really even understand the electoral college or how it works. Many think it's a university somewhere in New York City. Nevertheless they are vexed when a large majority of the counties in a given state vote Republican but large population centers turn the state blue. With the winner-take-all system in most states, places like California, New York, Illinois and several others are reliably blue although many of their counties lean radically to the Right. (Nebraska and Maine are different. They have apportioned delegates.) Never mind that in 2012 Barack Obama won both the popular vote in those states and the only time in recent memory that a popular vote winner lost the election was Al Gore in 2000. Lost on the GOP is the fact that they have actually won 9 of the last 16 elections with the current system.
(For a look at how the election of 2012 broke out by county, check RealClearPolitics at:
http://www.realclearpolitics.com/)
Republicans are unmoved by little stuff like the will of the people (in California, Pres. Obama won 60% of the total votes cast). Their attitude is simple, if you can't win on the merits, tilt the playing field. So, several states are trying to change the winner-take-all system and replace it with an apportioned system. Virginia's House of Delegates actually tried to sneak such a bill through the state house while one Democrat was attending the inauguration in January. This is a bad idea on several fronts but mostly because it might come back to bite Republicans on the ass. Georgia, Texas, Arizona and a few others have a growing number of Hispanic citizens who, under the current electoral system are unrepresented in red states. The Dems might trade a few lost votes in Illinois for half of Texas and Georgia. The GOP just might just end up holding the wrong end of the shotgun.
And that brings us to guns. A few of our brother states (those with the lowest IQ and, coincidentally, the highest rate of guns per household) have decided not to wait and see what the hated socialist in the White House is cooking up regarding their right to keep and bear arms. Bastions of intellect like Texas, Missouri, and Mississippi are proposing to nullify any and all laws and executive orders that emanate from Washington which impinge on their sacred right to be armed to the teeth. Those Texas history books that make the news every year apparently don't include the chapters on nullification. None of these loony laws has the slightest chance of being constitutional but that isn't the point. The point is to act defiant in the face of reason; to look stupid when all around you appear rational; to draw a line in the sand with the barrel of your AR-15 and dare those commies in DC to cross it. It makes you wonder why the state motto of Texas isn't "Ignorance=Virtue".
This just in ...Arkansas has joined South Carolina, Louisiana and Wyoming in passing a law (yes, this one is a law) permitting churchgoers to carry loaded, concealed firearms into church. Presumably God knows who's packing. Actually each house of worship will get to decide if guns will be permitted and who can carry one. Henceforth, the term "squeezing one off in church" will have a whole new meaning. Wow, I'll bet those crosses and statues make tempting targets, not to mention long-winded preachers.
Speaking of church...
In case you thought the religious crazies had retreated to their snake-handling warrens, think again. There are new and draconian abortion laws wending their way through no fewer than twelve state houses. By now you could probably list them without help from isitjustme. My personal favorite is the state of New Mexico. The Land of Enchantment isn't usually listed among the wing-nut states. Its two million citizens went for Obama in 2008 and 2012. In spite of its proximity to uber-dopey Arizona, New Mexicans seem at peace with a population that is 30% Spanish speaking. Nevertheless, one state legislator has dreamed up a novel way to curtail abortion in her state.State representative Cathrynn Brown (yes, a woman) has proposed a bill which would make it a felony to have an abortion in the case of rape because (wait for it) the fetus would be evidence in a rape trial. Nifty, eh? Congratulations to Rep. Brown who, with one bill, has managed to make Todd Akin look like Susan Sontag.
Of course abortion isn't the only pet project of the religious right. Don't forget the "caveman riding dinosaurs" world of creationism. Apparently no one heard Gov. Bobby Jindal of Louisiana when he admonished Republicans for being the stupid party. Actually Jindal wasn't even able to make himself heard in Louisiana or inside his own head. Jindal signed the "Louisiana Science Education Act" (irony, thy name is Jindal) which makes public funds available "in science classes" for the promulgation of alternate theories like creationism. It isn't bad enough that Louisiana wants to teach religious claptrap in public schools with state money. They want to do it in science class. That's like teaching pig latin in language labs or rejecting math formulas in favor of counting on your fingers. Jindal wants to change the GOP from the stupid party to the ill-informed party or the "gimmie that ole time religion" party.
Naturally, Jindal is a climate change denier. And why not? The governor of the state that experienced Katrina is the perfect spokesperson for the "man is having no effect whatsoever on the condition of the atmosphere" school of thought. (By the way, why aren't the teabaggers screaming for Bobby {his real first name is Piyush} Jindal's birth certificate? He looks about as American as the Maharishi Mahesh Yogi.) As a Catholic, Jindal no doubt would have us pray for the climate to improve. In the meantime, if you're on Bourbon St. next week, expect to see people carrying signs that say, "show us your Smith and Wessons".
Wait, there's more. Robert Marshall, Republican state delegate from Prince William County, Virginia has proposed that Virginia study the possibility of minting its own money. Why? Well, for when the financial apocalypse arrives thanks to Obama's financial insanity, of course. Delegate Marshall thinks that Virginia, the state that gave America the Declaration of Independence and the Bill of Rights, is the perfect place to provide gold and silver coins as legal tender when the zombies or who ever take over the Federal Reserve and the Treasury (if they haven't already). States are prohibited from minting paper money but they can mint commemorative coins which could be used as legal tender. I sincerely hope that the Virginia state house cafeteria avoids serving foods that require the use of a knife.
Again, let me remind you that all, repeat all, of these crackpot ideas are the products of Republican legislatures and governors. If this sort of lunacy occurred when Jimmy Carter or Bill Clinton was elected, I missed it. This is the work of teabaggers and their toadies' people elected to thwart the will of the majority. Small people who, unable to persuade anyone on the national level that their way is the only way, have hijacked local government. Make no mistake, these people are dangerous. They may be wearing tinfoil hats but their guns have real bullets and they're coming for your vote...one way or another.
In fairness, if anyone out there can point to just one similar sin of government perpetrated by the Democrats I will post it. Please don't tell me about National Healthcare or or recess appointments.
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