Is there anything going on in the world besides the GOP primaries?
Why yes:
A recent survey (No, I don't know what survey. Look it up!) found that more than half of Republican voters in Mississippi think Barack Obama is a Muslim. In Alabama it's just under half. Two questions spring to mind 1) Did the survey poll voters in Vermont or Minnesota? 2) What the f**k is wrong with these people?
The first question goes to fairness. You get the idea that snotty pollsters from New York fill their slow days by surveying Southerners with questions like "Are you hayseeds really as dumb and ill-informed as Northerners think you are? Do you think that comes from a poor education or from marrying your first cousins?" The perception of ignorance regarding citizens of Georgia and Louisiana is a stereotype that should have died years ago. The South is the birthplace of Faulkner and Tennessee Williams; of Lincoln and Lee; of John Grisham and Johnny Depp. Except that Southerners, bless their bigoted hearts, never miss an opportunity to reinforce all the unkind things we already think about them. Observe:
Laurens County, South Carolina is requiring candidates for public office to sign a pledge that they have not or will not have sex before marriage, that they are not gay and (I love this) that they will not watch pornography. So, if you're not gay, is watching gay porn OK? This charming bit of silliness has reduced the pool of potential candidates to straight (or closeted) eunuchs with no internet service. One or two nuns might qualify but I'm betting again' it.
Florida passed a law allowing public school students to recite "inspirational messages" during mandatory school events provided the faculty is not involved. For those of you who missed your caffeine jolt this morning, this is a feeble, lame attempt to circumvent fifty years of anti school prayer rulings by the Supreme Court. Southerners just can't let this go. (BTW the Florida legislature also rejected a law that made it a crime for Florida legislators to profit from the laws they pass. "Welcome to Florida where graft is actually legal".)
The Texas anti-abortion law, recently sign by Governor Rick "my MENSA application must be lost in the mail" Perry is so draconian, Garry Trudeau felt compelled to use his Doonesbury comic strip to lampoon it. Naturally, several southern newspapers have refused to print the strips.
For the record, the official policy position of isitjustme is that while all Southerners are not dumb a large percentage act dumb. Telling a pollster that you think the President is Muslim or a Kenyan is dumb. However, I am prepared to accept that telling someone that you don't like Barack Obama because he's black is worse. Perhaps the people of the Southern States have learned something about image. It's better to appear ill-informed than racist. Maybe I don't have my facts straight but they are facts...sort of. It appears we have hit on the first possible inspirational message for Florida school kids:
"Thank God we live in a country where information is never an impediment to an opinion. The men and women of our armed forces have given their lives to defend my right to talk out of my ass. Facts are for losers. If God wanted me to use my brain he wouldn't have given me a gut. It this a great country or what? God bless the United States of America...and Go Gators."
No comments:
Post a Comment