...or does the Republican race look like four men in a tug of war with everyone holding the same side of the rope?

It was a quiet Thursday night. As I perused my well-worn copy of Blaise Pascal's "Lettres Provincieles" (my Camus was being rebound) I discovered a delicious quote. In 1658 Pascal wrote, "Men never do evil so completely and cheerfully as when they do it from religious conviction." It seems unlikely that Pascal was contemplating the 2012 GOP Presidential contest but old Blaise was right on the mark.

Just as good economic news was sucking all the air out of the conservative argument for American regime change, along comes the Department of Health and Human Services. HHS determined that part of the new healthcare laws to take effect in 2014 compels all employers of a certain size who currently provide healthcare to include coverage for birth control, including so-called morning after meds. Exceptions were made for churches whose doctrine forbids contraception but not for commercial enterprises, such as hospitals and universities run by those religious groups. HHS might have expected some pushback from a church here and there but since laws like this were already on the books in several states it probably wouldn't amount to much. (Note: Massachusetts has this provision as part of its comprehensive healthcare law, signed by Governor Mitt Romney. Governor Mike Huckabee, aka Rev. Mike Huckabee, signed a similar law in Arkansas. Arizona's law makes no exception for churches of any kind.)

However, this is the election year of 2012 and no good deed goes unnoticed or unpunished. The circular firing squad that is the GOP presidential contest descended on this as though the Obama administration had decreed a tax on church collections. "War on Religion" screamed Romney clearly forgetting what his pen hath wrought. "War on the Catholic Church" howled Gingrich who himself is a relative newcomer to Catholicism. (Newt either overlooked the CC's prohibition on divorce or he plans to be more faithful to this Church than he ever was to his first two wives.)

Rick Santorum, who plans to run for Pope if his Presidential bid collapses, used the opportunity to condemn birth control, abortion, sex and dancing too close. Santorum plans to propose legislation forbidding men to ride behind women on escalators. (Considering Rick's negative views on sex one wonders where the eight little Santorums sprang from. Maybe he prayed for them.)

As always, when the adults got involved, the problem was resolved. That process took about 20 seconds. The administration commanded the insurance companies to cover the cost of birth control...much to the chagrin of the insurance companies and the Republican candidates. Once the Catholic Church expressed satisfaction with the change, the candidates were SOL. Deprived of this red meat issue almost as soon as it arose, the law firm of Santorum, Romney, Gingirch and Paul were forced to return to rail against an improving economy. Romney was so lost he attacked the bailout that saved the state he is trying to win. That's like trying to become president of Germany by attacking the Marshall Plan.

In any event the Republicans will nominate Romney in August and he will get trounced by the current President. When reflecting on these events it is helpful to remember the words of Confucius who said "When competing in a race, your chances of success increase dramatically when you don't shoot yourself in the foot with the starter's gun." Confucius should have signed on as a consultant with the RNC.