...or do hockey and basketball playoffs take longer than the healthcare debate?

Things that take too long:


Baseball games- especially the televised Yankee v. Red Sox games...of which there are 67. Yankees v. Mets comprise the other 95 on the Yankee schedule. They take too long, too.


Playoffs in hockey and basketball. Playoffs that start in April should not end in June. The fact that there are franchises in cities that have only two traffic lights (Oklahoma City? Columbus? San Jose?)adds to the tedium. These playoffs go on longer than the first Gulf War. Between the NHL and the NBA there are 16 different playoffs in progress. By the time a winner is crowned in either sport, the Supreme Court will have nine judges again; Congress will have recessed and come back eight times and Jay Leno will have left and returned to the Tonight Show...twice.


The pending trial of Rod Blagojevich. Nothing short of a judicial tsunami is going to get this annoying hair-ball off the stage. I'll pay for the trial myself. Just put this creep in a cell.


Tom Hanks' HBO specials. Clearly Mr. Hanks wishes to show us the interminable nature of the War in the Pacific by dragging us through interminable television, one hour at a time. The battle scenes are gripping but the story lines are hard to follow. Using virtually unknown actors has advantages but with everyone wearing helmets, covered in mud and smoking it can be difficult to keep the characters straight. War isn't just hell; it's hell to produce.


The trial of Khalid Sheikh Mohammed. Civil trial? Military tribunal? Straight to a firing squad? Hell, try him in front of Judge Judy, just try him! Then we can all sing America the Beautiful and pack this vermin off to Florence, CO where he can occupy the Gotti Suite for the remainder of his life. Also, get him a new mug shot. There are children watching.


The closing of GITMO. There are estimated to be 193 prisoners still in Cuba. Send four to every state. Problem solved.


Healthcare. So we passed the bill, the tea baggers expressed intelligent rebuttal (ensuring that they spelled "nigger" and "Hitler"correctly on their placards) and now; what? No insurance until 2012? Well, I'll see if I can get granny to hold out that long.
The political effects of the healthcare legislation will be the same whether it starts today, tomorrow or in two years so why not roll it out now? At least the morons holding Joker signs on the National Mall would have a chance to see how it works before condemning the congresspeople who voted for its passage. That would, however, require some logic which is tragically incompatible with hysterical spitting and sign waving. Never mind!