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A women in Tysons Corners, VA is teaching classes on how baby boomers can better communicate with the generations behind them. Apparently the insecurity level in American business has risen to a point where the employment of no-nothing consultants who pontificate about what you're doing wrong, is no longer enough. Employers are concerned that, if they aren't fluent in hip-hop or if they don't Twitter, they will lose all of their best and brightest employees. Now we have Anne Loehr, business coach, teaching fifty-somethings how to talk to thirty-somethings. As if we of the Vietnam generation aren't already feeling old and irrelevant enough, now we need instruction on Reality TV and how "Jon and Kate" are shaping American culture. (Please forgive the use of culture and Reality TV in the same sentence.)
Well excuse me for still breathing but there was a time when it was the younger, less experienced employees who had to make an effort to learn the language of those older than they. Having been around longer, senior employees were presumed to be smarter, having made all the mistakes already. None of my early bosses or co-workers gave a damn about my relevant life experiences. I knew nothing and therefore had little to share. You were supposed to earn your chops. Even if you work for someone younger than you (inevitable in many cases) the language of business is usually constant and universal.
I wish Ms. Loehr continued success in her educational endeavour however, in defense of the aging, remember: as long as I'm writing the salary checks, maybe you should learn to communicate with me.
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John Edwards, who is valiantly holding up the Democratic end in the scandal-plagued Summer of 2009, has been outed as the father of Rielle Hunter's love child thanks to a confirming DNA test. Edwards, a multimillionaire and former Democratic candidate for President, has been noticeably quiet on the subject. His silence speaks volumes. When it becomes inevitable that he speak, perhaps he will explain how he planned to run for President with a Tyrannosaurs Rex-sized skeleton in his closet. Did he plan to arrange for Ms. Hunter to be renditioned to Egypt? Was the plan to buy the National Enquirer, who had the scandal a year before anyone else, and turn it into a farm journal?
One thing is clear: no one in America wanted to see the headline "President's Love Child to Attend The Landon School" on any newspaper. Mr. Edwards, please go away...and take Mark Sanford and John Ensign with you.
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Am I the only one who noticed that the National Rifle Association was mighty quiet when the City of New York slapped Plaxico Burress with a two year sentence for carrying a loaded pistol into a New York City nightclub? Actually, no. Andrew Sullivan, in the Daily Dish, wondered "Where's the statement of outrage that a humble American gun owner like Plaxico Burress, who was only trying to protect himself and his family by carrying a gun, is being mercilessly persecuted by The Man and his draconian gun laws? Could it be that a rich, narcissistic, black football player isn't exactly the ideal poster boy for the abolition of gun laws? Do we imagine that, had Mr. Burress been a white quarterback from Nebraska, the NRA might have mustered a touch more outrage?
Face it, race matters! It matters to the mostly white NRA. It matters to the organizers of the town hall protests over healthcare and it matters to the Republican party. It is clearly not in the best interest of the slippery-slopers of the NRA to have a black, attitudinal, slouching, prison pants wearing, tattooed, arrogant Plaxico Burress (he has been sued nine times since joining the NFL in 2000) be their spokesperson. Paging Bret Farve!
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Isitjustme, forever at the vanguard of American thought, has developed the perfect response to the hideous decision made by Scottish Justice Minister Kenny MacAskill in releasing convicted Lockerbie bomber Ablelbaset Ali al-Megrahi. As a withering response to this horrendous decision, the United States will henceforth refer to the clear plastic tape produced by 3m Corp as Freedom Tape (or possibly anti-freedom tape). Furthermore, the import, sale and consumption of the brown brew formerly known as scotch whiskey will be restricted with an eye toward an outright ban. Face it, the stuff tastes like furniture polish anyway. Eliminating scotch will have the added benefit of enhancing the sales of American bourbon and even improve the popularity of Canadian spirits, thereby helping a truly trusted ally. Maybe the next time a country like Scotland is faced with the decision to release a convicted mass murderer, they will remember the harsh punishment that a riled-up America can inflict. Are you listening England? Your muffins are at risk.
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