Stop the world. I'm getting nauseous over here!
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We should all acknowledge the debt we owe to Pat Buchanan. Without him we might forget what stupid, insensitive old white guys really sound like. Were it not for Pat and his access to the media, the reason for black anger in America might be less crystallized.
Mr. Buchanan published a column on March 21 called A Brief for Whitey. The entire piece is available on his web site.
Among his thoughts, he wonders why black people in America aren't more grateful than angry. After all "no people anywhere has done more to lift up blacks than white Americans." (Presumably that includes lifting them up on the auction block.) Mr. Buchanan lists food stamps, rent supplements, student loans and several other programs apparently unavailable to poor or needy white people. (The vast majority of food stamp recipients in the U.S. are white.) Well thank you massa. We sure do thank you fo dat.
I could go on for a week but the point is that 145 years after the Emancipation Proclamation, blacks still require laws and sometimes bayonets to secure the rights and privileges that whites take for granted. Blacks have done all that was required: fought in wars, paid taxes, attempted to better themselves. When the playing field is finally level, none of the give-backs and set-asides will be needed. What we need now is a lot less of Pat Buchanan.
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Robert Klein was a guest on Bill Maher's show last week and allowed that the one good thing about the Eliot Spitzer story is that is dispels the notion that Jews never pay retail.
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Zach Dunlap awoke in a Wichita Falls hospital to discover that a surgeon was about to harvest his organs for transplant. Zach suffered a head injury in an atv accident in Davidson, OK. He was pronounced brain dead and was being prepped for the harvest when he grabbed the nurse's arm.
Isitjustme advises everyone to check their organ donor cards to make sure that they require that you are dead first, a seemingly small but vital technicality. (Pat Buchanan is donating his heart to the Smithsonian miniature museum.)
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Try to follow this item.
An Oregon "man" who used to be a woman, is pregnant. It seems that, although she/he went through the preliminary sex change procedures (including tailoring all his shirts to button to the left), she/he neglected to trade in her plumbing for something more external. Anyway, this oversight proved helpful after he/she got married to a women who was infertile. Adding new meaning to the term selfless, our hero stopped taking his/ her hormones and got pregnant. No mention was made of the sperm donor. Possibly a psychiatrist looking to sow the seeds for future patients.
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Prisoners in Vermont have filed a class action suit charging that a food called Nutraloaf (made with cubed bread, vegetables and powdered milk) be declared cruel and unusual. The head of the prison dept. in the state declared "Well hell. We don't have capital punishment and we're constitutionally prohibited from serving Spam (see Constitution of the State of Vermont, Article XXV, sec 4, sub-paragraph j, titled "Dog food as substitute for chicken"). Nutraloaf is the next best thing to waterboarding." The case is pending.
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