Next week is Halloween and although I won't be an active participant (the ears to my Mr. Spock costume were lost last year during the arrest), I still have fond memories of both my own and my son's many years as sanctioned beggars.
It is, however, with some sadness that I observe the degree of protection required for today's trick-or-treaters. Back in the day (before CNN, MSNBC et al) kids went door-to-door in small groups. Bigger kids shepherded the little ones (the cute little ones got better stuff) and the entire enterprise was handled without the guidance of a single adult. We began right after school and continued until aggravated victims stopped opening the doors for us - usually about 7-ish. We then marched gleefully home to a parental chorus of, "Don't eat all that junk at once. You'll get sick."
Alas, those days of innocence appear to be ended. The tykes of today are accompanied on their neighborhood rounds by a phalanx of adult protectors. The only kids out there alone had to shave before making the effort. No parent worthy of the title would ever permit their small ones to traipse through our fearsome village unaccompanied. (These would be the same parents that paid a small fortune to live in what is deemed a "safe neighborhood.")
Actually, having the adults wander the streets with the kids is a great idea. Not only are they participating in their children's joy, (my father wouldn't have left our apartment on Halloween if the building were ablaze), but they get to meet many neighbors who had heretofore been strangers. Unfortunately, the motivation for this evening romp is not a desire to look into other peoples homes (well, maybe a little); it's cold, abject fear. The real fright on Halloween is that something terrible may happen to the little ones. And that, my friends, is a creation of your friendly news coverage.
Isitjustme.com is a supporter of all media all the time...even FoxNews. Face it. People who only want to hear what they already believe need a news program too. The problem with our news programs isn't that they hide or shade things, it's that they love to scare us to death. National news shows will interrupt the endless recital of today's world events if a child goes missing for an hour in a shopping mall.
Local news is much worse. If one kid in Kansas City gets a rotten apple for trick-or-treat (does anyone give fruit anymore?) the account will be discussed for a week by the local talking heads. The KC Chief of Police will be interviewed as to what happened and what his department is doing about it. Is this a serial fruit poisoner? "We have a suspect but no arrests have been made. The child has a mild stomach ache but is otherwise unharmed. We will know more at our next press briefing in fifteen minutes." Local newsies will be filming remotes from the house of the "victim" and from the local apple orchard. Grocers will be questioned. "Well Bob, I'm standing here with Fred Smute, who is the produce manager here at Al's Market. Tell me Fred, was the apple poisoned when you sold it? How many poisonous apples did you sell to people this year and was business uncommonly good?"
Sadly, the lack of anything new has never stopped news programs from finding something scary to broadcast. When things get slow, they can always send a reporter out to the local airport to show how easily they were able to sneak a butter knife aboard a plane. If they really wanted to see some frightening stuff they could film George W. trying to make a decision without Cheney or Rumsfeld around.
Americans, living in one of the safest countries in the world, are scaring themselves to death for no other reason than they are better informed than ever before. People actually choose to fly on airlines from countries that aren't having trouble with Arab countries (Think Icelandic!). Americans go to great lengths to acquire second passports from other countries to ensure that if identification as an American proves dangerous they can instantly morph into Irishmen. That's like wearing a dress to escape the Titanic.
On one wants to to hear it but if children are at risk in this country, it's due to the proliferation of legal hand guns. More kids are killed in gun accidents every year than will ever die from poisoned Snickers bars.
Caution is never a bad thing, especially where the safety of children is involved, but people, take a chill pill. Your offspring have a lot more to fear from what M&M Mars puts inside those triple-sealed candy bars than they ever will from the neighbor who gave it to them. If you really want to protect your kids, keep them out of McDonald's and Burger King. If you don't, next year may find your kiddies trick-or-treating as Bill Parcels. Now that's scary.
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