...or will the GOP continue its vagina dialogues through November?

WOW!

I'd run out and buy a lottery ticket but I've already hit the liberal blogger trifecta: the Republican Party, the Catholic Church and Rush Limbaugh. If we could work in Sarah Palin, I could retire.

Yes, I know you're sick to death of women's health and contraception, of sluts and Santorum, of birth control pills and Georgetown health insurance but honestly, would you rather be talking about gas prices? Hell, even the double-digit IQ crowd that listens to Rush would rather agitate over how many birth control pills prostitutes need as opposed to God-fearing Christian girls.

In order to properly understand what happened to sane intelligent discourse it's important to understand a few facts. (Facts being those things which are harder to find than condoms in the Santorum bedside table.):

Health Insurance and the government- Twenty eight states in America currently mandate that employers cover birth control pills as part of comprehensive healthcare. Many of those states make no provision for religious institutions whether they be churches or church-run businesses like hospitals or universities. So almost half the states already have birth-control mandated and as far as I know Bishop Fishhat of the Roman Catholic Church hasn't said a word. So why bring it up now? Why is the provision more odious when it's national? (BTW, these state laws have been signed by such notables as "Governor" Mitt Romney and Rev. "Governor" Mike Huckabee.)

Women's health vs the First Amendment - Freedom of Religion as stated in the Constitution covers the establishment of a state religion and the "free exercise" of anyone's faith. I fail to see how a government mandate to provide health insurance coverage for contraception in any way violates the Constitution. Catholics are still free to practice their faith without interference. Government has been sensitive to church prohibitions and exempted them from the law when employees of the church itself are affected. When ancillary businesses such as hospitals are concerned however, churches are expected to obey the law. How does this violate a Catholic's right to practice?

Barack Obama and the War on Religion - I suspect that no one was more surprised than Barack Obama to learn that he had declared war on religion or war on the Catholic Church (You have to hand it to Newt. When he says "War on the Catholic Church" you can actually see Joan of Arc on Pennsylvania Ave.) Having been castigated for spending twenty years at the feet of Rev. Jeremiah Wright, the President expected attacks on his patriotism not his faith.

Nevertheless Congress, anxious to do anything to divert the country's attention from its complete and total ineptitude, lept to action. Rep. Darrell Issa of California empaneled a committee and elicited testimony from "experts"...all men, all white, all older than that condom high schools kids carry in their wallet. Honestly, the panel looks like the reunion photo from the graduating class of a Presbyterian seminary circa 1958. It took a Democrat to permit the testimony of one woman, a law student, to present the argument for the other half of the population. And thus we get...

Rush Limbaugh and his appalling lack of grace and information - It's difficult to believe that the level of discourse in America has sunk so low that anyone would listen to or comment on a cancer like Limbaugh. His listening army of salesmen and retirees routinely spend three hours a day wallowing in every form of racist, misogynistic, reactionary bile a twisted soul can conceive. Unbounded by good taste, courtesy, or the slightest nod toward justice or fair play, Limbaugh has attacked anyone and everyone with innuendo, half truths and distortion. This is slime in its purest form.

However, this is a country founded on free speech. He gets to be a pig and we defend his rights. He's welcome to verbally abuse entertainers, politicians and public personalities for the amusement of his drones and the delight of his advertisers. Fame carries some peril (ask Sarah Palin). His right to be a turd however does not extend to ad homonym attacks on private citizens. The birth-control related testimony of Sandra Fluke before a Congressional Committee does not make her a public person. Attacking her as a "slut" and a "prostitute" is beyond disgraceful; it's libelous. It's also buffoonish. To expound on a woman's contraceptive needs is boorish. To do so with no actual knowledge is comic. Limbaugh's assertion that Ms. Fluke's sexual cravenness necessitates multiple contraceptive applications would be clownish if not so hurtful. Tragically, this incident and ten more like it won't end Rush Limbaugh. Boycotts have been suggested but the only boycott that may prove effective would be if women withheld sex from every husband who listens to that asshat. Not that Rush's audience gets laid all that much anyway!

Regardless of how this comes out, women will have access to contraception because, no matter what they say in public, men, fathers, lovers, adulterers and especially priests, do not welcome unintended blessed events. One might even expect to find a little round dispenser squirrelled away in the medicine cabinet of the Rick Santorum Little Red Home Schoolhouse in Great Falls, VA. After all, what student of military history doesn't remember the old World War I song "Praise the Lord and Pass the Ortho Novum"?

...or should we never be surprised when someone picks up a gun?

Congresswoman Gabrielle Giffords was shot and severely wounded in front of a Safeway store in Tucson, AZ on the morning of Saturday, January 8. Raise your hand if you're surprised. Raise your hand if you are amazed that, in a country with as many guns as people, incidents like this aren't more common. Raise your hand if you believe that the constant vile rhetoric of the conservative wing of the American political scene isn't responsible for more Gabrielle Giffords. Raise your hand if you think any of this will change.

Today's Wall Street Journal was aglow with "don't look at us" disclaimers on its editorial page.
On all available evidence, Jared Lee Loughner is a mentally disturbed man who targeted Congresswoman Gabrielle Giffords and anyone near her in Tucson on Saturday because she was prominent and they were tragically accessible.
There, now don't you feel better? After roughly 48 hours and almost no detailed statement from law enforcement, Paul Gigot of The Wall Street Journal has boldly taken it on himself to assure America that this was the random act of a psycho. A man totally unaffected by the violent discourse that screams from every information orifice on cable television and talk radio. However, Mr. Gigot does have some harsh words for the media. That would be the media that attempts to paint tenuous dotted lines between the shooting in Tucson and Rush Limbaugh's big mouth or Sarah Palin's gun-sight map. Shame on you Keith Olbermann!

No doubt The Wall Street Journal trotted out the same nonsense after the shooting death of abortion doctor George Teller in a Wichita Church in 2009 or the killing of security guard Stephen Johns at the United States Holocaust Memorial Museum that same year. "Just some wingnut folks. Nothing to see here". Except there is something to see. We need to look at how easy it is for unstable people to be influenced by ratings-crazy maniacs and how easy it is to purchase the means to act out. You can say that "both sides are to blame". After all, didn't the President make an unfortunate gun reference in a campaign speech? CRAP!

One side is to blame: neocons. Democrats aren't talking about "reloading". Liberals aren't drawing bulls eyes on maps...Sarah Palin did. BTW The response from Fortress Palin came from aide, Rebecca Mansour who is shocked that anyone would think that those targets on their 2010 campaign maps were intended to be gun sights. She suggested that they were just points on a map...like "a surveyor's symbol". And you wonder why nothing will change. Left-wingers aren't carrying flintlocks to political rallies. Democrats aren't suggesting "Second Amendment remedies"...Sharron Angle did. All the gun talk and all the "us vs them" noise is coming from the right. A nobody from Florida named Joyce Kaufman appeared at a teabagger rally in 2010 and proudly proclaimed "If ballots don't work, bullets will." Anything vague or fuzzy about that?

No one is suggesting that Michael Savage or Glenn Beck be silenced. After all, no one is forced to listen and it seems that as long as Fox News has an audience, Roger Ailes will continue to sow the seeds of violence and discontent. What we might expect however, is just a hint of the realization that actions have consequences. Fox and Limbaugh appeal to conservatives; the same conservatives who own all the guns. When you continually hammer your audience with opinions disguised as news, don't be shocked if they believe it. When you tell people like Jared Lee Loughner that his government is evil and is determined to take his liberty and his guns, do not express dismay when you elicit a response. Don't keep telling the well-armed and mentally challenged that healthcare legislation is a socialist conspiracy to kill your grandmother and then look shocked when one of them takes a Glock 19 to a Safeway. The President issued a "targeted kill" order on Muslim cleric, Anwar al-Awaki, after he was identified as an influence on Fort Hood shooter Major Nidal Malik Hasan. Clearly someone believes that whispering in someone's ear "pick up a gun" might cause them to pick up a gun.

As we watch the news reports of Congresswoman Giffords' recovery (God willing) and the expected prosecution of Jared Lee Loughner, it might be instructive to reflect on who we are and what we are becoming. Check the newspapers for a week or two and see what countries produce headlines about slain public officials: Mexico, Pakistan, sub-Sahara Africa. Not much from Canada, Denmark or Japan. Why do you think that is? Our culture is everywhere so we can't blame Hollywood. Americans are admired and envied throughout the world yet when it comes to shooting each other, most societies take a pass. I don't have an answer except that maybe Smith and Wesson and Rush Limbaugh don't translate easily into Japanese.

...or are we all resisting the temptation to pray that a building collapses on Rush Limbaugh?

Can there really be a lower form of creature than one who would try to discredit the charity and generosity of an entire country? Is "pond scum" too charitable a term for someone who uses a devastating human tragedy as a pretext to criticize a political leader of whom he disapproves? Must we tolerate a man who clearly has never missed a meal when he attempts to deprive others? Actually, yes, we do. This is America, a country that leads the world in irony. The same system of laws that grants trials to would-be terrorists and demands civil rights for contemptible mass murderers, is the system that allows self-important demigods with a microphone and good Neilson numbers to contaminate our public discourse.


Don't blame Rush Limbaugh. He is merely one of the freaks in the side show; no different from the three-headed dog or the bearded lady. It may be entertaining in a car wreck sort of way but everyone knows it's a fraud. We derive no satisfaction from exposing a bad ventriloquist. Pointing out that professional wrestling is rigged doesn't diminish its entertainment value or commercial success. We retain an empathy for the fool.


We should however, blame the Conservatives and Tea Baggers; people who take great pride in purporting to represent "American Values". These are the people who fancy themselves Real Americans: Average Joes, Anti-intellectual, Anti-elitist, God-fearing, Salt of the Earth, Lunch-pail Heartlanders. People with a endless capacity for compassion. They think of themselves as good neighbors. These are the kind of Americans who say, "I might be opposed to gay marriage but would never refuse charity to a fellow citizen because he's gay". They might disagree with your politics but they will stand beside you in the face of a common enemy. However, these are the people who have remained noticeably silent while one of their most vocal cheerleaders exhorts them to withhold contribution to national charities.


Where is the outrage from Sarah Palin, guest of honor (for a speaking fee of $120,000) at the National Tea Bagger Convention? On the subject of Rush Limbaugh her tweets are silent. How about Glenn Beck? As the man most enriched by the Tea Bag movement, you might expect a small show of compassion for the tens of thousands suffering in Haiti. Surely, just this once, you can closet your inane attacks on Barack Obama and encourage your audience to contribute to the relief effort. Don't hold your breath! Beck has opined that President Obama is dividing the nation by responding quickly to the plight of Haitian citizens. (Haitians who have been without water for seven days might take issue with the term "quick response".) Conservatives have concocted a conspiracy theory around the Presidents response to the tragedy in Haiti and the response to the Christmas Day bombing attempt. Believers are to understand that Obama was quick to react because, after all, "blacks stick together". A slower rescue effort would be anticipated if the earthquake struck Finland.

Sean Hanniy has attempted to marginalize the entire story, instead focusing on the upcoming Massachusetts senate race where, surprise, surprise, the Democrats are in trouble. No one, and I mean no one on the Conservative Right has called a press conference to decry the vile, cynical remarks of Rush Limbaugh.
To his credit, John McCain has labeled Limbaugh's remarks "unhelpful" .


There are two reasons for all this silence. The first is obvious to anyone with eyes. The Tea Bag Movement in America is the most racist organization since the Klu Klux Klan. This mini-army of old white people is threatened by an African American President. It's not about healthcare (which will benefit most of them) or the national deficit (which none of them understands) or even jobs (which most of them have or are retired from). It's about a smiling, well-educated, confident, successful black man running their beloved America. They hate it. Stirred to action by would-be populists like Glenn Beck, these small-minded haters will rally behind any cause, real or imagined, (think: healthcare for illegals or, the President isn't an American citizen) and take to the streets. The only real threat posed by these bigots is, armed with the televised power of Fox News, their movement can appear bigger and more politically powerful than it is. That's a problem.


The other reason for silence on the Right is Rush Limbaugh has a bully pulpit. With a devoted audience of 20 million (scary, eh!), Mr. Limbaugh ensures that no Republican will call him to task, regardless of how outrageous his proclamations. Michael Steele, America's premier Oreo cookie, took a shot and found himself apologizing the next day. Limbaugh gives the impression that he controls Middle America and if you want to get elected. you had better conform.

This is the cruelest joke of all. Limbaugh has exactly zero practical effect on the electoral landscape. In the now forgotten contest to elect a Congressman for New York's 23rd district, Rush's support of the Conservative Doug Hoffman ensured the election of the Democrat, Bill Owens. During the Presidential election of 2008 Rush initially threw his considerable bulk behind Fred Thompson. That campaign lasted about as long as an episode of Law and Order. Unruffled by failure, Limbaugh's next candidate was Mitt Romney. During the later Republican primaries, Limbaugh eviscerated McCain in praise of Romney. How'd that work out? We know how Limbaugh felt about Barack Obama and we know the effect those daily attacks had on the outcome in Nov., 2008.

Limbaugh is a racist and he revels in it. Remember his assertion that Donovan McNabb, quarterback for the Eagles, was coddled because he's black. Or that Obama nominated Sonia Sotomayor to the Supreme Court because he's a racist. And who could forget "Barack the Magic Negro"? Curiously, although millions of Americans absorb a three hour daily dose of Limbaugh bile, few seem willing to drag his dreck to the voting booth. Perhaps those 20 million listeners can discern serious political discourse from buffoonery. Maybe, like pro wrestling, most fans get the joke. You don't have to wear big floppy shoes and a ball on your nose to be identified as a clown. Who would take political guidance from Bozo?

Nevertheless, shame on those who fail to call political commentators to task when they cross the line. Those calling for the head of Muslim clerics who incite violence are slow to apply the same standards to hate mongers in our own country. Republicans, take heart. After all, why would anyone want to be elected to anything by people who follow Rush Limbaugh?...except maybe Sarah Palin.

...or will the loss of newspapers offend the fish industry?

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Troubles continue to mount for poor Michael Steele. No sooner does he bow and scrape his way out of trouble with the all-powerful King Rush, now he is desperately attempting to explain his way out of the greatest Republican sin of all, the capacity to think for himself. In the words of that great American, Frank Burns, "Individually is fine, so long as we all do it together".


In an interview for GQ (not normally the pinnacle of Republican orthodoxy) Mr. Steele allowed that homosexuality is not a matter of choice and abortion is. Holy platform, Batman! It isn't bad enough that the head of the RNC doesn't look like everybody in the Republican party, he doesn't think like them either.
This situation has put the leaders of the GOP in a terrible spot. If they jettison Michael Steele, the closest thing the Republicans will have to a black member will be Bobby Jindal and John Boehner. (Boehner appears to have purchased all the skin pigmentation that Michael Jackson wasn't using.) Besides, candidates willing to swim toward the sinking Republican ship aren't exactly lining up around the block. It would be easier to hire a food taster for Rush Limbaugh.

WANTED: FOOD TASTER FOR RUSH LIMBAUGH Must be courageous and really quick with a fork.



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Senator Chuck Grassley of Iowa, ever anxious to prove that Mid-Westerners aren't just about American ideals, has suggested a Japanese solution to the problem of AIG and their bonuses. The Senator proposes that the offending executives: 1) apologize to America (he was unclear as to whether they should apologize for taking the money or running the American economy off a cliff) and 2) killing themselves. Resignation was proposed as an option to suicide but discounted as less desirable for TV ratings. This statement was met with outrage by the Japanese who understand that seppuku is an honorable death and therefore totally unsuitable for any American executive.


The Democrats have promised a vigorous challenge for Sen. Grassley's Senate seat in 2010. Doctor Jack Kevorkian is considered an early frontrunner.



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Meanwhile, back in Iowa...the State Department of Naming Stuff has decided to rename the Department of Elder Affairs (presumably to alleviate confusion regarding geriatric love trysts) to the Department of Aging. Senior citizens were predictably outraged that the new acronym for their primary government agency was DOA.

...or is the Republican party completely incapable of tearing a hole in the Limbaugh airbag?

When Newt Gingrich is the voice of reason in your political party, you have a problem. When a recent straw poll among Republicans lists Ron Paul and Sarah Palin among the top four choices as Presidential candidate in 2010, you have troubles. When Michael Steele, the man elected to run the Republican National Committee, is too spineless to engage a whoopee cushion like R. Limbaugh, you need a new plan...and a new RNC Chairman. In other words, the GOP has decided to ignore the time-tested axiom: when you're already in a hole, stop digging.

The Republicans are sinking into irrelevancy and Admiral Limbaugh is throwing them a daily supply of anvils. Astronomers at NASA are wagering as to whether Rush's ego or his belt size will be first to reach planetary proportions. The joy of Limbaugh is he thinks he's helping. Meanwhile, any Republican with an IQ in three digits is scurrying to re-brand himself as a libertarian. Can the rebirth of the Whigs be far behind?

Like the Democrats after Jimmy Carter, the current minority party has been left without an issue. Attacking Barak Obama is hopeless. He is wildly popular and endlessly charismatic. The country sees him doing everything possible to right the economic ship. At least he's trying. The Republicans who oppose his efforts appear petty and small. To vote for Presidential failure borders on treason. Opponents such as Grandpa McCain and Mitch McConnell complain about deficits yet preach tax cuts. Even tax-averse Americans are confused by this logic. John (How do you get your skin that color?) Boehner of Ohio, is hard-pressed to explain to unemployed citizens of his state why stimulus is such a bad idea. A little government pork would be a welcome relief to families living on Raman noodles.

No one really knows if the steps taken by the current administration will improve our economy or make things worse. What we do know is that America elected Barak Obama to try and make things better; or at least less bad. In the meantime, we can all share a chuckle as the Republicans try to slow the Obama juggernaut long enough to create a few resonant sound bites. Just as the GOP was labeling the STIM as out-of- control spending, Obama was on to the budget. As the Republicans sputtered to call the budget "earmark central", Barak was pitching healthcare. By the way, is anyone else worried that John McCain will give himself a seizure pounding the podium in opposition to earmark spending? Especially now that his wife isn't standing behind him with the glycerin pills. The administration is moving so fast that the Republicans didn't even stop to criticize Obama's Iraq strategy. By the time McConnell or Boehner gets to the lectern to decry something proposed by the administration, two new initiatives are making headlines. It's like watching a hitter trying to catch up to a fast ball.

As for Mr. Limbaugh, you have to admit, for a blimp he's pretty agile. He rarely attacks his critics directly, except for the pitiful Mr. Steele who is clearly fighting out of his weight class. Limbaugh professes to be about ideology not politics. That's like being interested in bracketology but not basketball. This guy is Billy Sunday, Carrie Nation and Huey Long all rolled into one (with room left over for Elmer Gantry). He professes to speak to "the people", Sarah Palin's Real Americans. In truth he preaches only to the converted. His audience is old, white and angry.

Oddly, they are the very tax paying citizens who will benefit first from "socialist" programs like social security, medicare, medicaid, prescription drug benefits and Obama's healthcare. They profess a belief in the market economy but curse the company that closes a plant in their town to save jobs elsewhere. They bemoan the loss of American ideals but reject the fundamental ideal of the melting pot. They lament prayer in schools but are suspicious of a mosque in their town. Things seemed simpler when Eisenhower or Reagan was in office. I suspect that Americans living through the turbulent days of Lyndon Johnson longed for the calmer times of Herbert Hoover or Cal Coolidge.

We live in scary times and people have a right to be apprehensive. Crumbling financial institutions and mounting foreclosures fill the broadcast media and whatever newspapers are left. People feel powerless and victimized. Tragically, this is fertile ground for the Limbaughs, Hannitys and Becks. Safe behind a microphone, they provide simple answers that are little more than bromides. According to them, all would be well if only: all illegal aliens went home, all Muslims/Arabs embarked for west Asia, black people stopped crying about their rights and went back to mopping the floor, consumers ignored quality issues and bought American, we prayed in school and displayed the Ten Commandments in courthouses, and mostly, we returned to the Christian fundamentals upon which this Country was founded.


Well guess what? We aren't going back. This 2009 not 1955. The way out is the way forward. Nostalgia is charming in film but it sucks as a national strategy. America, if you must listen to Limbaugh & Co., please do so with the same eyes as you would Happy Days and American Graffiti. Imagine Garrison Keiller, only with horns and a tail.

...or has Rush Limbaugh migrated from oxycontin to oxymoron?

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I don't care what flavor of politics you favor, no one should be happy about Rush Limbaugh,aka: the big, fat, idiot, attempting to manipulate the American electoral process for his own amusement. In a sane country (that would be a place where issues are more important than flag lapel pins) the hubris of a radio airbag believing that he can shape political events from behind a microphone would be laughable. Sadly, we live in a place where a staggering number of people actually hang on this guy's every word. This would be the same country where more people vote for American Idol than president.


It would be one thing to cheer for a candidate whose policies he supports or to belittle the views of the opposition - that is his right. However, encouraging your listener/lemmings to vote for candidates from the other party for the sole purpose of extending the nomination process is reprehensible. Has it ever occurred to this baboon that, by encouraging bad electoral behavior, he is promoting chaos just because he can? If you really care about America you want the two best possible candidates running in November. That way, regardless of who wins, America is in capable hands. It was the underhanded politics and disgraceful tactics of the Republican party in 2000 that gave the country George the Lesser instead of John McCain. How's that working out for you?

If a single Limbaugh devotee really cared about the United States they would disavow this tactic and change the channel. The cynicism of Rush Limbaugh degrades us all.


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Hillary, go home! It's over.


Senator Clinton says that she's staying in the race until there is a winner. Hil, baby, there is a winner. He's a skinny black guy.

Do your party a favor and return to Chappaqua or Washington or the Rose Law Firm; anywhere but West Virginia.


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Sami al-Hagg, a former photographer for Al-Jazeera (that's a news network not a Simpsons character) was released from the U.S. detention facility at Guantanamo Bay...after six years. No charges were ever filed. No court ever heard his case. He simply became one of the 775 "detainees" sacrificed to the post 9-11 vengeance of the Bush administration. Having slept through the summer of 2001, the Bushes were determined to appear responsive. Sympathizers and fellow travelers were rounded up all over the world and dumped in a prison that Amnesty International calls "the gulag of our times". These people have served sentences longer than many murderers in America.

Where's the outrage people? Did the attacks on Sept 11,2001 revoke our status as the good guys?

The only way that anyone in this country will express any emotion about this stain on our conscience is if CBS interrupts an episode of Survivor to expose the problem. Just watch the outrage then!

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Osama Hussein need not apply.

Some U.S. air marshals are being refused a seat on flights because their name appears on no-fly lists.

It has been 6 1/2 years since 9-11. You would think that we might have figured this issue out by now. This is just another example of the stellar contractors that have done such a bang-up job in Iraq.

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An Arkansas man awaiting trial on murder charges has filed a federal lawsuit claiming that the portion sizes of the meals in prison are causing him to lose weight. Originally incarcerated at a robust 413 pounds, the skimpy chow in the hoosegow has him at a svelte 330. The Arkansas Department of Corrections is contemplating a partnership with Kirstie Alley to promote the "Death Row Diet." The slogan, "Eat like there's no tomorrow and still lose weight."

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Speaking of death row...Georgia just couldn't wait to give the needle to William Earl Lynd. (Are all killers required to have three names?) Now that the Supremes have green-lighted a resumption of executions, prisons all over the South are warming up their gurneys and restocking their medicine cabinets with sodium thiopenthal, pancuronium bromide and potassium chloride. The Texas death house looks like a bakery on Sunday morning. They're giving out numbers.

Isitjustme has always opined that, assuming we get it right, the death penalty is an effective way of taking out the trash. Some folks have just worn out their welcome. The problem is, we seem to be getting it wrong too often. Once is the definition of "too often."

The Innocence Project has been instrumental in the release of 216 inmates across America using DNA testing; 16 from death row. Of the 216 wrongfully convicted, 69% were black or Latino. (Everyone who is surprised, raise your hand.) Because Texas and many other bloodthirsty states destroy the evidence after an execution, we may never know how many innocent people died in the "furtherance of justice."



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At a recent public appearence, Vladimer Putin leaned toward the party member sitting to his right and whispered, "Do you want to see a trick that I learned from Dick Cheney?" He then proceeded to drink an entire glass of water while Russia's new president Dmitry Medvedev gave a speech.