Car wrecks we can't seem to stop looking at.
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At what point in our ever-evolving culture did food-consumption become sports? Speaking for myself, the prospect of watching someone stuff wet hot dogs and buns into his face at high speed falls somewhere between freak show and "don't block the door to the vomitorium". The only way glutenous food consumption qualifies as sports is if John Waters is your news producer.
Once upon a time some bright-light MBA at Nathan's Famous, Inc. proposed a hot dog eating contest as a stunt. This simple idea has morphed into two actual associations called the MLE, Major League Eating and the WLOCE, World League of Competitive Eating. (Think WWE except the contestants occasionally say "excuse me" after emitting horrid bodily noises.) These organizations sponsor all manner of pig-outs all over the world. Burgers, Spam, oysters and many other foods are stuffed into "professional" gobs as fans cheer and the clock ticks. So ask yourself: if you're a tea-bagger, where do you go to protest about "getting your country back"? Forget the White House. Take the gang to Coney Island. Not only can you attempt to convert the Joey Chestnut fans, you can have a little lunch. I've seen those tea party rallies. That group has some serious hot dog eaters.
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Can someone please explain why gun sales in America are going through the roof? Has the current occupant of the White House made any effort to curtail the sale of firearms? Has Congress attempted to rewrite the Constitution in response to the "Heller" or "McDonald" decisions by the Supremes? Has anyone aside from a few big city mayors even brought the topic up? Is the NRA so influential that they can create a panic among members even in the absence of a threat?
Today's troubling news comes from the Beehive State of Utah. It seems that Utah has the most lenient concealed weapons law of any state in America. Utah requires only that you be 21, take a course, clear a background check and of course, pay a $65.25 fee. The permits are valid in 32 states and are good for five years. Utah issued 74,000 permits last year and is swamped with applications for 2010. If you don't find this troubling...you should. Most people killed in shootings are shot byfamil;y members or people they know. This OK Corral fantasy results in hundreds of needless deaths every year. BTW The first thing lawmen in Dodge City, Tombstone and Silver City did to reduce crime was prohibit the citizenry from carrying guns.
If your paranoia is such that you feel the need to own a gun, neither Barack Obama nor I can do much to stop you. However there is no reason for any citizen to wander the streets of America with a weapon concealed in his clothing or in her handbag. You will most certainly shoot a friend or an acquaintance long before you shoot a felon. Ask yourself: If I witness a crime in progress, would I be likely to draw a gun and start shooting? Is there the slightest expectation that I could hit what I was aiming at? Would it be more likely that I would hit: a cop, a bystander, a hostage? Would I be offended by return fire?
The debate over guns is asinine. No one will convince anyone of anything. There are two interesting facts that Americans should find sobering: currently there are 280,000 handguns in private hands in this Country and, every year we kill about 4,500 kids with guns.
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America, I know it's July. Things are a little laid back. Baseball is at the halfway point in the season. (yawn!) The U.S. is out of the World Cup. Football two-a-days are a few weeks off. Still, are we really so stuck for something to distract us that we would devote a full hour of primetime TV to the announcement that a high school graduate from Akron plans to bounce a ball in Miami? It's difficult to judge which is worse: A sports personality who thinks his address is of such earth-shaking import that America would forgo Rachel Maddow or reruns of CSI to watch a TV special about whose little shorts and tank top he will attempt to sell in 2010 and beyond or, a population of sycophant, mouth-breathers who care. LeBron James has the biggest, most outsized ego since, oh, Glenn Beck who just announced he is starting his own university. Headline rewrite " isitjustme or is hot dog eating to sports what Glenn Beck is to education?"
Showing posts with label Glenn Beck. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Glenn Beck. Show all posts
Tuesday, July 06, 2010
Sunday, January 17, 2010
...or are we all resisting the temptation to pray that a building collapses on Rush Limbaugh?
Can there really be a lower form of creature than one who would try to discredit the charity and generosity of an entire country? Is "pond scum" too charitable a term for someone who uses a devastating human tragedy as a pretext to criticize a political leader of whom he disapproves? Must we tolerate a man who clearly has never missed a meal when he attempts to deprive others? Actually, yes, we do. This is America, a country that leads the world in irony. The same system of laws that grants trials to would-be terrorists and demands civil rights for contemptible mass murderers, is the system that allows self-important demigods with a microphone and good Neilson numbers to contaminate our public discourse.
Don't blame Rush Limbaugh. He is merely one of the freaks in the side show; no different from the three-headed dog or the bearded lady. It may be entertaining in a car wreck sort of way but everyone knows it's a fraud. We derive no satisfaction from exposing a bad ventriloquist. Pointing out that professional wrestling is rigged doesn't diminish its entertainment value or commercial success. We retain an empathy for the fool.
We should however, blame the Conservatives and Tea Baggers; people who take great pride in purporting to represent "American Values". These are the people who fancy themselves Real Americans: Average Joes, Anti-intellectual, Anti-elitist, God-fearing, Salt of the Earth, Lunch-pail Heartlanders. People with a endless capacity for compassion. They think of themselves as good neighbors. These are the kind of Americans who say, "I might be opposed to gay marriage but would never refuse charity to a fellow citizen because he's gay". They might disagree with your politics but they will stand beside you in the face of a common enemy. However, these are the people who have remained noticeably silent while one of their most vocal cheerleaders exhorts them to withhold contribution to national charities.
Where is the outrage from Sarah Palin, guest of honor (for a speaking fee of $120,000) at the National Tea Bagger Convention? On the subject of Rush Limbaugh her tweets are silent. How about Glenn Beck? As the man most enriched by the Tea Bag movement, you might expect a small show of compassion for the tens of thousands suffering in Haiti. Surely, just this once, you can closet your inane attacks on Barack Obama and encourage your audience to contribute to the relief effort. Don't hold your breath! Beck has opined that President Obama is dividing the nation by responding quickly to the plight of Haitian citizens. (Haitians who have been without water for seven days might take issue with the term "quick response".) Conservatives have concocted a conspiracy theory around the Presidents response to the tragedy in Haiti and the response to the Christmas Day bombing attempt. Believers are to understand that Obama was quick to react because, after all, "blacks stick together". A slower rescue effort would be anticipated if the earthquake struck Finland.
Sean Hanniy has attempted to marginalize the entire story, instead focusing on the upcoming Massachusetts senate race where, surprise, surprise, the Democrats are in trouble. No one, and I mean no one on the Conservative Right has called a press conference to decry the vile, cynical remarks of Rush Limbaugh.
To his credit, John McCain has labeled Limbaugh's remarks "unhelpful" .
There are two reasons for all this silence. The first is obvious to anyone with eyes. The Tea Bag Movement in America is the most racist organization since the Klu Klux Klan. This mini-army of old white people is threatened by an African American President. It's not about healthcare (which will benefit most of them) or the national deficit (which none of them understands) or even jobs (which most of them have or are retired from). It's about a smiling, well-educated, confident, successful black man running their beloved America. They hate it. Stirred to action by would-be populists like Glenn Beck, these small-minded haters will rally behind any cause, real or imagined, (think: healthcare for illegals or, the President isn't an American citizen) and take to the streets. The only real threat posed by these bigots is, armed with the televised power of Fox News, their movement can appear bigger and more politically powerful than it is. That's a problem.
The other reason for silence on the Right is Rush Limbaugh has a bully pulpit. With a devoted audience of 20 million (scary, eh!), Mr. Limbaugh ensures that no Republican will call him to task, regardless of how outrageous his proclamations. Michael Steele, America's premier Oreo cookie, took a shot and found himself apologizing the next day. Limbaugh gives the impression that he controls Middle America and if you want to get elected. you had better conform.
This is the cruelest joke of all. Limbaugh has exactly zero practical effect on the electoral landscape. In the now forgotten contest to elect a Congressman for New York's 23rd district, Rush's support of the Conservative Doug Hoffman ensured the election of the Democrat, Bill Owens. During the Presidential election of 2008 Rush initially threw his considerable bulk behind Fred Thompson. That campaign lasted about as long as an episode of Law and Order. Unruffled by failure, Limbaugh's next candidate was Mitt Romney. During the later Republican primaries, Limbaugh eviscerated McCain in praise of Romney. How'd that work out? We know how Limbaugh felt about Barack Obama and we know the effect those daily attacks had on the outcome in Nov., 2008.
Limbaugh is a racist and he revels in it. Remember his assertion that Donovan McNabb, quarterback for the Eagles, was coddled because he's black. Or that Obama nominated Sonia Sotomayor to the Supreme Court because he's a racist. And who could forget "Barack the Magic Negro"? Curiously, although millions of Americans absorb a three hour daily dose of Limbaugh bile, few seem willing to drag his dreck to the voting booth. Perhaps those 20 million listeners can discern serious political discourse from buffoonery. Maybe, like pro wrestling, most fans get the joke. You don't have to wear big floppy shoes and a ball on your nose to be identified as a clown. Who would take political guidance from Bozo?
Nevertheless, shame on those who fail to call political commentators to task when they cross the line. Those calling for the head of Muslim clerics who incite violence are slow to apply the same standards to hate mongers in our own country. Republicans, take heart. After all, why would anyone want to be elected to anything by people who follow Rush Limbaugh?...except maybe Sarah Palin.
Don't blame Rush Limbaugh. He is merely one of the freaks in the side show; no different from the three-headed dog or the bearded lady. It may be entertaining in a car wreck sort of way but everyone knows it's a fraud. We derive no satisfaction from exposing a bad ventriloquist. Pointing out that professional wrestling is rigged doesn't diminish its entertainment value or commercial success. We retain an empathy for the fool.
We should however, blame the Conservatives and Tea Baggers; people who take great pride in purporting to represent "American Values". These are the people who fancy themselves Real Americans: Average Joes, Anti-intellectual, Anti-elitist, God-fearing, Salt of the Earth, Lunch-pail Heartlanders. People with a endless capacity for compassion. They think of themselves as good neighbors. These are the kind of Americans who say, "I might be opposed to gay marriage but would never refuse charity to a fellow citizen because he's gay". They might disagree with your politics but they will stand beside you in the face of a common enemy. However, these are the people who have remained noticeably silent while one of their most vocal cheerleaders exhorts them to withhold contribution to national charities.
Where is the outrage from Sarah Palin, guest of honor (for a speaking fee of $120,000) at the National Tea Bagger Convention? On the subject of Rush Limbaugh her tweets are silent. How about Glenn Beck? As the man most enriched by the Tea Bag movement, you might expect a small show of compassion for the tens of thousands suffering in Haiti. Surely, just this once, you can closet your inane attacks on Barack Obama and encourage your audience to contribute to the relief effort. Don't hold your breath! Beck has opined that President Obama is dividing the nation by responding quickly to the plight of Haitian citizens. (Haitians who have been without water for seven days might take issue with the term "quick response".) Conservatives have concocted a conspiracy theory around the Presidents response to the tragedy in Haiti and the response to the Christmas Day bombing attempt. Believers are to understand that Obama was quick to react because, after all, "blacks stick together". A slower rescue effort would be anticipated if the earthquake struck Finland.
Sean Hanniy has attempted to marginalize the entire story, instead focusing on the upcoming Massachusetts senate race where, surprise, surprise, the Democrats are in trouble. No one, and I mean no one on the Conservative Right has called a press conference to decry the vile, cynical remarks of Rush Limbaugh.
To his credit, John McCain has labeled Limbaugh's remarks "unhelpful" .
There are two reasons for all this silence. The first is obvious to anyone with eyes. The Tea Bag Movement in America is the most racist organization since the Klu Klux Klan. This mini-army of old white people is threatened by an African American President. It's not about healthcare (which will benefit most of them) or the national deficit (which none of them understands) or even jobs (which most of them have or are retired from). It's about a smiling, well-educated, confident, successful black man running their beloved America. They hate it. Stirred to action by would-be populists like Glenn Beck, these small-minded haters will rally behind any cause, real or imagined, (think: healthcare for illegals or, the President isn't an American citizen) and take to the streets. The only real threat posed by these bigots is, armed with the televised power of Fox News, their movement can appear bigger and more politically powerful than it is. That's a problem.
The other reason for silence on the Right is Rush Limbaugh has a bully pulpit. With a devoted audience of 20 million (scary, eh!), Mr. Limbaugh ensures that no Republican will call him to task, regardless of how outrageous his proclamations. Michael Steele, America's premier Oreo cookie, took a shot and found himself apologizing the next day. Limbaugh gives the impression that he controls Middle America and if you want to get elected. you had better conform.
This is the cruelest joke of all. Limbaugh has exactly zero practical effect on the electoral landscape. In the now forgotten contest to elect a Congressman for New York's 23rd district, Rush's support of the Conservative Doug Hoffman ensured the election of the Democrat, Bill Owens. During the Presidential election of 2008 Rush initially threw his considerable bulk behind Fred Thompson. That campaign lasted about as long as an episode of Law and Order. Unruffled by failure, Limbaugh's next candidate was Mitt Romney. During the later Republican primaries, Limbaugh eviscerated McCain in praise of Romney. How'd that work out? We know how Limbaugh felt about Barack Obama and we know the effect those daily attacks had on the outcome in Nov., 2008.
Limbaugh is a racist and he revels in it. Remember his assertion that Donovan McNabb, quarterback for the Eagles, was coddled because he's black. Or that Obama nominated Sonia Sotomayor to the Supreme Court because he's a racist. And who could forget "Barack the Magic Negro"? Curiously, although millions of Americans absorb a three hour daily dose of Limbaugh bile, few seem willing to drag his dreck to the voting booth. Perhaps those 20 million listeners can discern serious political discourse from buffoonery. Maybe, like pro wrestling, most fans get the joke. You don't have to wear big floppy shoes and a ball on your nose to be identified as a clown. Who would take political guidance from Bozo?
Nevertheless, shame on those who fail to call political commentators to task when they cross the line. Those calling for the head of Muslim clerics who incite violence are slow to apply the same standards to hate mongers in our own country. Republicans, take heart. After all, why would anyone want to be elected to anything by people who follow Rush Limbaugh?...except maybe Sarah Palin.
Sunday, January 03, 2010
...or am I the only one who cares where reindeer go in January?
It's only January and already there are reasons to move to Europe. To wit:
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Dick Cheney is an overwhelming, raging, galactic asshat. (OK it's not as catchy as "Rush Limbaugh is a Big Fat Idiot" but I'm no poet.) This man needs to take his sneering back-seat driving, fear-mongering keester to The Wyoming Home for Presidential Wannabees and wait quietly for the Almighty to call him home. If that sounds harsh, tough. Cheney is causing right thinking Americans to address an issue we thought we'd never say out loud...George W. Bush is behaving like a classy, principled statesman. Ech!
After each and every international incident, our former bucket of warm piss (that's the original John Nance Garner quote) runs directly toward the first open mike to decry the failed policies of Barack Obama. Who is this guy? Jesse Jackson? Listen Mr. Cheney, the only thing in America "less safe" is a President who is being depicted as weak and conciliatory in the face of danger. The folks most receptive to this message are also the inbred survivalists who share two disturbing traits: low IQ's and gun ownership.
If Dick Cheney really cared about America he would return to Mooseshit, Wyoming or wherever he's from, shut his mouth and type out his gripping life story on an old Royal. He can start with his glorious military record.
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If Dick Cheney doesn't have you reaching for your passport, try this... a recent Gallup Poll inquiring as to whom Americans most admire, showed Glenn Beck in the number two spot just behind Nelson Mandela. Hey, I'm as shocked as you. Not that my countrymen admire Glenn Beck. I'm amazed that any of these appleheads know who Nelson Mandela is. They probably think he's some Italian guy or the guy that hosts Deal or No Deal. The survey showed Beck ahead of Bill Gates, Billy Graham and even George W. Bush. They're probably still mad at W for not running for a third term.
Seriously, we thought that young America getting their news from Jon Stewart was a problem. Now we learn that the country is following the guidance of a man who makes Sarah Palin look like Margaret Thacher. It would be OK if Beck's audience understood that he's making it up as he goes along. (There really aren't subliminal communist messages in the friezes adorning Rockefeller Center.) You would be wise however, not to jump to that conclusion. Beck's disciples might not take everything to heart but they do possess a fundamental affinity for the overarching message: namely that America is in the incapable hands of a liberal ideologue who stands in opposition to American Exceptionalism.
In the Gospel According to Beck: showing respect to other world leaders is a sign of weakness, attempting to negotiate disputes with foreign governments is almost traitorous and, supporting healthcare legislation is socialist...or communist...or fascist. (Beck uses these terms interchangeably, secure in the knowledge that his audience will not know the difference...or care.)
The show's logic is compelling as long as no one is available to present a counter argument. All opinions are acceptable if you wrap yourself in the flag. It works like this:
1) Healthcare is bad because it's bad for America and I love America.
2) Obama is trying to backdoor reparations for slavery which is unfair to Americans and, of course, I love Americans.
3) Healthcare will cause older Americans to be lined up and shot which is unfair to older Americans but may possibly provide needed employment for gun owners. Nevertheless I love America.
This claptrap plays well to older, white Americans who somehow feel that Barack Obama wasn't elected by them and doesn't represent them. Change is scary and these people are scared. Beck plays on that fear like a cheap kazoo. He reaffirms the paranoia that every liberal change since Reconstruction is unfortunate. Every new policy is a disguised conspiracy to turn our beloved country over to minorities, illegals and welfare Cadillac drivers. Hell, if some guy showed up on my TV every day and told me what I wanted to hear, I'd admire him too. But wait! Someone does that...Steven Colbert.
___________________________________________________________________
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The New York Jets defeated the Cincinnati Bengals 37-0 in the last game to be played in Giants Stadium. What made the event memorable, aside from the obvious, is that the game was dry. This was not a weather related occurrence but a conscious decision by the club not to serve alcohol during the contest. The combined issues of a late start (8 PM) and that it was the last game to be played in that building caused a heroically rational decision by the the club, choosing respect for life over beer revenue. Congratulations to the Jets ownership although I suspect an ulterior motive. Considering the outrageous prices of tickets in the new stadium, the Jets could hardly contribute to the accidental death of anyone crazy enough to pay for them.
Unfortunately, if predictably, not everyone was thrilled with the decision to force Jet fans to get drunk before game time. New Jersey distiller Majorska Vodka expressed outrage at the tea-tottling attitude of the Jets owners. The company urged Jets fans to boycott Johnson & Johnson products (Jets owner Woody Johnson is heir to the J&J fortune) for 24 hours. This is an understandable response in that the similarity between Majorska Vodka and J&J rubbing alcohol is imperceptible. They're practically competitors.
In any event, I'm sure that Jets fans, ingenious as they are, found myriad ways to smuggle a little hooch into Giants stadium Sunday night. After all, who could pass up the opportunity to act the drunken fool in front of a national television audience?
___________________________________________________________________
Item
By the way, in voting for Asshat Of The Year we wouldn't want to leave out our favorite Senator from Connecticut Joe Lieberman. Sadly, I'm all raged out. More tomorrow.
Item
Dick Cheney is an overwhelming, raging, galactic asshat. (OK it's not as catchy as "Rush Limbaugh is a Big Fat Idiot" but I'm no poet.) This man needs to take his sneering back-seat driving, fear-mongering keester to The Wyoming Home for Presidential Wannabees and wait quietly for the Almighty to call him home. If that sounds harsh, tough. Cheney is causing right thinking Americans to address an issue we thought we'd never say out loud...George W. Bush is behaving like a classy, principled statesman. Ech!
After each and every international incident, our former bucket of warm piss (that's the original John Nance Garner quote) runs directly toward the first open mike to decry the failed policies of Barack Obama. Who is this guy? Jesse Jackson? Listen Mr. Cheney, the only thing in America "less safe" is a President who is being depicted as weak and conciliatory in the face of danger. The folks most receptive to this message are also the inbred survivalists who share two disturbing traits: low IQ's and gun ownership.
If Dick Cheney really cared about America he would return to Mooseshit, Wyoming or wherever he's from, shut his mouth and type out his gripping life story on an old Royal. He can start with his glorious military record.
___________________________________________________________________
Item
If Dick Cheney doesn't have you reaching for your passport, try this... a recent Gallup Poll inquiring as to whom Americans most admire, showed Glenn Beck in the number two spot just behind Nelson Mandela. Hey, I'm as shocked as you. Not that my countrymen admire Glenn Beck. I'm amazed that any of these appleheads know who Nelson Mandela is. They probably think he's some Italian guy or the guy that hosts Deal or No Deal. The survey showed Beck ahead of Bill Gates, Billy Graham and even George W. Bush. They're probably still mad at W for not running for a third term.
Seriously, we thought that young America getting their news from Jon Stewart was a problem. Now we learn that the country is following the guidance of a man who makes Sarah Palin look like Margaret Thacher. It would be OK if Beck's audience understood that he's making it up as he goes along. (There really aren't subliminal communist messages in the friezes adorning Rockefeller Center.) You would be wise however, not to jump to that conclusion. Beck's disciples might not take everything to heart but they do possess a fundamental affinity for the overarching message: namely that America is in the incapable hands of a liberal ideologue who stands in opposition to American Exceptionalism.
In the Gospel According to Beck: showing respect to other world leaders is a sign of weakness, attempting to negotiate disputes with foreign governments is almost traitorous and, supporting healthcare legislation is socialist...or communist...or fascist. (Beck uses these terms interchangeably, secure in the knowledge that his audience will not know the difference...or care.)
The show's logic is compelling as long as no one is available to present a counter argument. All opinions are acceptable if you wrap yourself in the flag. It works like this:
1) Healthcare is bad because it's bad for America and I love America.
2) Obama is trying to backdoor reparations for slavery which is unfair to Americans and, of course, I love Americans.
3) Healthcare will cause older Americans to be lined up and shot which is unfair to older Americans but may possibly provide needed employment for gun owners. Nevertheless I love America.
This claptrap plays well to older, white Americans who somehow feel that Barack Obama wasn't elected by them and doesn't represent them. Change is scary and these people are scared. Beck plays on that fear like a cheap kazoo. He reaffirms the paranoia that every liberal change since Reconstruction is unfortunate. Every new policy is a disguised conspiracy to turn our beloved country over to minorities, illegals and welfare Cadillac drivers. Hell, if some guy showed up on my TV every day and told me what I wanted to hear, I'd admire him too. But wait! Someone does that...Steven Colbert.
___________________________________________________________________
Item
The New York Jets defeated the Cincinnati Bengals 37-0 in the last game to be played in Giants Stadium. What made the event memorable, aside from the obvious, is that the game was dry. This was not a weather related occurrence but a conscious decision by the club not to serve alcohol during the contest. The combined issues of a late start (8 PM) and that it was the last game to be played in that building caused a heroically rational decision by the the club, choosing respect for life over beer revenue. Congratulations to the Jets ownership although I suspect an ulterior motive. Considering the outrageous prices of tickets in the new stadium, the Jets could hardly contribute to the accidental death of anyone crazy enough to pay for them.
Unfortunately, if predictably, not everyone was thrilled with the decision to force Jet fans to get drunk before game time. New Jersey distiller Majorska Vodka expressed outrage at the tea-tottling attitude of the Jets owners. The company urged Jets fans to boycott Johnson & Johnson products (Jets owner Woody Johnson is heir to the J&J fortune) for 24 hours. This is an understandable response in that the similarity between Majorska Vodka and J&J rubbing alcohol is imperceptible. They're practically competitors.
In any event, I'm sure that Jets fans, ingenious as they are, found myriad ways to smuggle a little hooch into Giants stadium Sunday night. After all, who could pass up the opportunity to act the drunken fool in front of a national television audience?
___________________________________________________________________
Item
By the way, in voting for Asshat Of The Year we wouldn't want to leave out our favorite Senator from Connecticut Joe Lieberman. Sadly, I'm all raged out. More tomorrow.
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