Republicans used to stand for something: free enterprise, small government, lower taxes. These principles were responsible for the election of Herbert Hoover, Richard Nixon and Ronald Reagan (as to what principles were responsible for the election of George W. Bush, I have no earthly idea). Although not always true to the ideals (Reagan's defense spending put a serious hole in the budget) at least those men gave it to you straight. Their core beliefs were that the American people would see the wisdom of their ideas and vote accordingly.
Now we have 2009. The Republican ethos is in decline, not because people want higher taxes and more government but because the previous chief executive had sawdust for brains. Republicans have had the political rug pulled out from under them. Not only do the Democrats control both houses of Congress, they have a rock star in the White House. The GOP has no cogent plan, no remedy for Iraq, the recession or unemployment. Hell, they don't even have a leader/spokesperson/champion. When John Boehner, Mitch McConnell and Jim Demint are your frontmen you need to change your campaign color from red to gray.
Having decided that a recitation of your beliefs is putting America to sleep, the GOP has hit upon a new grand strategy; scare the bejeebers out of old people. If you can get someone on TV to repeat the stuff you make up (hello Fox News), seniors will gobble it up. Old people believe what their TV's tell them. They remember Walter Cronkite, Edward R. Morrow and Huntley & Brinkley. Older Americans still watch evening news shows. Even the more even-handed news people like Katie Couric or Brian Williams will repeat absurd stories if they appear to be news. Look at the "birther" story. From the people who brought you swift boating, this trash about President Obama not being a citizen is pure fiction. Why then do 45% of Republicans believe it? They saw it on TV.
1) Some delusional right wing dickweed said it publicly. 2) Conservatives at Fox News gave it airplay. 3) Old people heard it...every day. 4) The Republican party is made up almost entirely of old people who want to believe that Fox speaks the truth. 5) Thus is born the birther movement. Quod erat demonstrandum.
Convinced that they had something here, the Republican intelligentsia (an oxymoron if ever there was one) is staying up nights to dream up more stuff with which to terrify Americans over 60. First they got Sarah Palin, queen of style over substance, to spread the terror of "death panels". Ooooohhhh! Then Chuck Grassley of Iowa introduced "your government wants to pull the plug on grandma". GOP representatives from Wyoming to Florida have been rattling the spectre of "rationing"...as if your current insurance provider isn't already doing that. Not to be outdone, Fox News discovered a Veterans Administration pamphlet produced fifteen years ago and proclaimed it a roadmap to encourage former servicemen to end their lives. (What that has to do with the current debate, you'll have to ask Glen Beck.)
Now we have a new gem from the cave of political make-believe; an RNC questionnaire has suggested that, armed with the right information, the government (presumably Democratic) might deny medical treatment to Republicans. Setting aside the relative merits of this concept (we should at least consider pulling the plug on Senator Grassley's microphone) does this make any sense to anyone? Apparently it makes sense to Micheal Steele, chairman of the RNC. He signed the letter that accompanies the questionnaire.
Healthcare is going to be expensive. That fact alone should play directly into the wheelhouse of the Republican Party. Is their faith in their own principles so weak that they can't stick to the truth? Or is it possible that the price tag alone won't be enough to discourage support for some form of healthcare reform? Like Billy Flynn sang in "Chicago", "Razzle-dazzle 'em and they'll never get wise". Stay tuned for the Republican sequel to Final Destination entitled "If You're Over 70, Don't Buy Any Green Bananas".
Showing posts with label Michael Steele. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Michael Steele. Show all posts
Monday, August 31, 2009
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
...or will the loss of newspapers offend the fish industry?
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Troubles continue to mount for poor Michael Steele. No sooner does he bow and scrape his way out of trouble with the all-powerful King Rush, now he is desperately attempting to explain his way out of the greatest Republican sin of all, the capacity to think for himself. In the words of that great American, Frank Burns, "Individually is fine, so long as we all do it together".
In an interview for GQ (not normally the pinnacle of Republican orthodoxy) Mr. Steele allowed that homosexuality is not a matter of choice and abortion is. Holy platform, Batman! It isn't bad enough that the head of the RNC doesn't look like everybody in the Republican party, he doesn't think like them either.
This situation has put the leaders of the GOP in a terrible spot. If they jettison Michael Steele, the closest thing the Republicans will have to a black member will be Bobby Jindal and John Boehner. (Boehner appears to have purchased all the skin pigmentation that Michael Jackson wasn't using.) Besides, candidates willing to swim toward the sinking Republican ship aren't exactly lining up around the block. It would be easier to hire a food taster for Rush Limbaugh.
WANTED: FOOD TASTER FOR RUSH LIMBAUGH Must be courageous and really quick with a fork.
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Senator Chuck Grassley of Iowa, ever anxious to prove that Mid-Westerners aren't just about American ideals, has suggested a Japanese solution to the problem of AIG and their bonuses. The Senator proposes that the offending executives: 1) apologize to America (he was unclear as to whether they should apologize for taking the money or running the American economy off a cliff) and 2) killing themselves. Resignation was proposed as an option to suicide but discounted as less desirable for TV ratings. This statement was met with outrage by the Japanese who understand that seppuku is an honorable death and therefore totally unsuitable for any American executive.
The Democrats have promised a vigorous challenge for Sen. Grassley's Senate seat in 2010. Doctor Jack Kevorkian is considered an early frontrunner.
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Meanwhile, back in Iowa...the State Department of Naming Stuff has decided to rename the Department of Elder Affairs (presumably to alleviate confusion regarding geriatric love trysts) to the Department of Aging. Senior citizens were predictably outraged that the new acronym for their primary government agency was DOA.
Troubles continue to mount for poor Michael Steele. No sooner does he bow and scrape his way out of trouble with the all-powerful King Rush, now he is desperately attempting to explain his way out of the greatest Republican sin of all, the capacity to think for himself. In the words of that great American, Frank Burns, "Individually is fine, so long as we all do it together".
In an interview for GQ (not normally the pinnacle of Republican orthodoxy) Mr. Steele allowed that homosexuality is not a matter of choice and abortion is. Holy platform, Batman! It isn't bad enough that the head of the RNC doesn't look like everybody in the Republican party, he doesn't think like them either.
This situation has put the leaders of the GOP in a terrible spot. If they jettison Michael Steele, the closest thing the Republicans will have to a black member will be Bobby Jindal and John Boehner. (Boehner appears to have purchased all the skin pigmentation that Michael Jackson wasn't using.) Besides, candidates willing to swim toward the sinking Republican ship aren't exactly lining up around the block. It would be easier to hire a food taster for Rush Limbaugh.
WANTED: FOOD TASTER FOR RUSH LIMBAUGH Must be courageous and really quick with a fork.
___________________________________________________________________
Item
Senator Chuck Grassley of Iowa, ever anxious to prove that Mid-Westerners aren't just about American ideals, has suggested a Japanese solution to the problem of AIG and their bonuses. The Senator proposes that the offending executives: 1) apologize to America (he was unclear as to whether they should apologize for taking the money or running the American economy off a cliff) and 2) killing themselves. Resignation was proposed as an option to suicide but discounted as less desirable for TV ratings. This statement was met with outrage by the Japanese who understand that seppuku is an honorable death and therefore totally unsuitable for any American executive.
The Democrats have promised a vigorous challenge for Sen. Grassley's Senate seat in 2010. Doctor Jack Kevorkian is considered an early frontrunner.
___________________________________________________________________
Item
Meanwhile, back in Iowa...the State Department of Naming Stuff has decided to rename the Department of Elder Affairs (presumably to alleviate confusion regarding geriatric love trysts) to the Department of Aging. Senior citizens were predictably outraged that the new acronym for their primary government agency was DOA.
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
...or is the Republican party completely incapable of tearing a hole in the Limbaugh airbag?
When Newt Gingrich is the voice of reason in your political party, you have a problem. When a recent straw poll among Republicans lists Ron Paul and Sarah Palin among the top four choices as Presidential candidate in 2010, you have troubles. When Michael Steele, the man elected to run the Republican National Committee, is too spineless to engage a whoopee cushion like R. Limbaugh, you need a new plan...and a new RNC Chairman. In other words, the GOP has decided to ignore the time-tested axiom: when you're already in a hole, stop digging.
The Republicans are sinking into irrelevancy and Admiral Limbaugh is throwing them a daily supply of anvils. Astronomers at NASA are wagering as to whether Rush's ego or his belt size will be first to reach planetary proportions. The joy of Limbaugh is he thinks he's helping. Meanwhile, any Republican with an IQ in three digits is scurrying to re-brand himself as a libertarian. Can the rebirth of the Whigs be far behind?
Like the Democrats after Jimmy Carter, the current minority party has been left without an issue. Attacking Barak Obama is hopeless. He is wildly popular and endlessly charismatic. The country sees him doing everything possible to right the economic ship. At least he's trying. The Republicans who oppose his efforts appear petty and small. To vote for Presidential failure borders on treason. Opponents such as Grandpa McCain and Mitch McConnell complain about deficits yet preach tax cuts. Even tax-averse Americans are confused by this logic. John (How do you get your skin that color?) Boehner of Ohio, is hard-pressed to explain to unemployed citizens of his state why stimulus is such a bad idea. A little government pork would be a welcome relief to families living on Raman noodles.
No one really knows if the steps taken by the current administration will improve our economy or make things worse. What we do know is that America elected Barak Obama to try and make things better; or at least less bad. In the meantime, we can all share a chuckle as the Republicans try to slow the Obama juggernaut long enough to create a few resonant sound bites. Just as the GOP was labeling the STIM as out-of- control spending, Obama was on to the budget. As the Republicans sputtered to call the budget "earmark central", Barak was pitching healthcare. By the way, is anyone else worried that John McCain will give himself a seizure pounding the podium in opposition to earmark spending? Especially now that his wife isn't standing behind him with the glycerin pills. The administration is moving so fast that the Republicans didn't even stop to criticize Obama's Iraq strategy. By the time McConnell or Boehner gets to the lectern to decry something proposed by the administration, two new initiatives are making headlines. It's like watching a hitter trying to catch up to a fast ball.
As for Mr. Limbaugh, you have to admit, for a blimp he's pretty agile. He rarely attacks his critics directly, except for the pitiful Mr. Steele who is clearly fighting out of his weight class. Limbaugh professes to be about ideology not politics. That's like being interested in bracketology but not basketball. This guy is Billy Sunday, Carrie Nation and Huey Long all rolled into one (with room left over for Elmer Gantry). He professes to speak to "the people", Sarah Palin's Real Americans. In truth he preaches only to the converted. His audience is old, white and angry.
Oddly, they are the very tax paying citizens who will benefit first from "socialist" programs like social security, medicare, medicaid, prescription drug benefits and Obama's healthcare. They profess a belief in the market economy but curse the company that closes a plant in their town to save jobs elsewhere. They bemoan the loss of American ideals but reject the fundamental ideal of the melting pot. They lament prayer in schools but are suspicious of a mosque in their town. Things seemed simpler when Eisenhower or Reagan was in office. I suspect that Americans living through the turbulent days of Lyndon Johnson longed for the calmer times of Herbert Hoover or Cal Coolidge.
We live in scary times and people have a right to be apprehensive. Crumbling financial institutions and mounting foreclosures fill the broadcast media and whatever newspapers are left. People feel powerless and victimized. Tragically, this is fertile ground for the Limbaughs, Hannitys and Becks. Safe behind a microphone, they provide simple answers that are little more than bromides. According to them, all would be well if only: all illegal aliens went home, all Muslims/Arabs embarked for west Asia, black people stopped crying about their rights and went back to mopping the floor, consumers ignored quality issues and bought American, we prayed in school and displayed the Ten Commandments in courthouses, and mostly, we returned to the Christian fundamentals upon which this Country was founded.
Well guess what? We aren't going back. This 2009 not 1955. The way out is the way forward. Nostalgia is charming in film but it sucks as a national strategy. America, if you must listen to Limbaugh & Co., please do so with the same eyes as you would Happy Days and American Graffiti. Imagine Garrison Keiller, only with horns and a tail.
The Republicans are sinking into irrelevancy and Admiral Limbaugh is throwing them a daily supply of anvils. Astronomers at NASA are wagering as to whether Rush's ego or his belt size will be first to reach planetary proportions. The joy of Limbaugh is he thinks he's helping. Meanwhile, any Republican with an IQ in three digits is scurrying to re-brand himself as a libertarian. Can the rebirth of the Whigs be far behind?
Like the Democrats after Jimmy Carter, the current minority party has been left without an issue. Attacking Barak Obama is hopeless. He is wildly popular and endlessly charismatic. The country sees him doing everything possible to right the economic ship. At least he's trying. The Republicans who oppose his efforts appear petty and small. To vote for Presidential failure borders on treason. Opponents such as Grandpa McCain and Mitch McConnell complain about deficits yet preach tax cuts. Even tax-averse Americans are confused by this logic. John (How do you get your skin that color?) Boehner of Ohio, is hard-pressed to explain to unemployed citizens of his state why stimulus is such a bad idea. A little government pork would be a welcome relief to families living on Raman noodles.
No one really knows if the steps taken by the current administration will improve our economy or make things worse. What we do know is that America elected Barak Obama to try and make things better; or at least less bad. In the meantime, we can all share a chuckle as the Republicans try to slow the Obama juggernaut long enough to create a few resonant sound bites. Just as the GOP was labeling the STIM as out-of- control spending, Obama was on to the budget. As the Republicans sputtered to call the budget "earmark central", Barak was pitching healthcare. By the way, is anyone else worried that John McCain will give himself a seizure pounding the podium in opposition to earmark spending? Especially now that his wife isn't standing behind him with the glycerin pills. The administration is moving so fast that the Republicans didn't even stop to criticize Obama's Iraq strategy. By the time McConnell or Boehner gets to the lectern to decry something proposed by the administration, two new initiatives are making headlines. It's like watching a hitter trying to catch up to a fast ball.
As for Mr. Limbaugh, you have to admit, for a blimp he's pretty agile. He rarely attacks his critics directly, except for the pitiful Mr. Steele who is clearly fighting out of his weight class. Limbaugh professes to be about ideology not politics. That's like being interested in bracketology but not basketball. This guy is Billy Sunday, Carrie Nation and Huey Long all rolled into one (with room left over for Elmer Gantry). He professes to speak to "the people", Sarah Palin's Real Americans. In truth he preaches only to the converted. His audience is old, white and angry.
Oddly, they are the very tax paying citizens who will benefit first from "socialist" programs like social security, medicare, medicaid, prescription drug benefits and Obama's healthcare. They profess a belief in the market economy but curse the company that closes a plant in their town to save jobs elsewhere. They bemoan the loss of American ideals but reject the fundamental ideal of the melting pot. They lament prayer in schools but are suspicious of a mosque in their town. Things seemed simpler when Eisenhower or Reagan was in office. I suspect that Americans living through the turbulent days of Lyndon Johnson longed for the calmer times of Herbert Hoover or Cal Coolidge.
We live in scary times and people have a right to be apprehensive. Crumbling financial institutions and mounting foreclosures fill the broadcast media and whatever newspapers are left. People feel powerless and victimized. Tragically, this is fertile ground for the Limbaughs, Hannitys and Becks. Safe behind a microphone, they provide simple answers that are little more than bromides. According to them, all would be well if only: all illegal aliens went home, all Muslims/Arabs embarked for west Asia, black people stopped crying about their rights and went back to mopping the floor, consumers ignored quality issues and bought American, we prayed in school and displayed the Ten Commandments in courthouses, and mostly, we returned to the Christian fundamentals upon which this Country was founded.
Well guess what? We aren't going back. This 2009 not 1955. The way out is the way forward. Nostalgia is charming in film but it sucks as a national strategy. America, if you must listen to Limbaugh & Co., please do so with the same eyes as you would Happy Days and American Graffiti. Imagine Garrison Keiller, only with horns and a tail.
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