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It suddenly hit me! While watching Sarah Palin accept the nod from John McCain to be his vice presidential running mate, I realized who she reminds me of. She's the women in those R- rated movies with her conservative clothes, pinned-up hair and glasses. The very image of wholesome Americana. Halfway through the movie someone gives her a couple of mai tais and it's girls gone wild time. She's hopping up on the coffee table unbuttoning her blouse. The fact that she has five children lends some credence to this analogy. Seriously, let's wish Barbie all the success in the world.
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And let's also extend our congratulations to the Bush administration for attempting to do as much additional damage to the environment as possible. The White House has recently proposed allowing individual government agencies to assess how their programs would impact potential endangered species. In other words, the Department of Energy will decide, with no scientific oversight or review, the impact of its decisions on endangered species. Perfect! The very people who have shown themselves as the principal despoilers of the environment will get to decide the impact of their policies.
The Bush administration has cleverly used the clamor of the Democratic National Convention as cover for his final assault on the planet. You would think that this bum would make some attempt to improve his legacy, even if the policies were just window dressing. Guess not.
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Is anyone else out there sick of listening to John McCain and the Bush White House hurl empty threats at the Russians over their invasion of Georgia? Vladimir Putin must be laughing in his vodka over the United States' saber rattling and name calling. Just yesterday Putin was quoted as saying, "Sticks and stones may break my bones but we have more soldiers and tanks than you." Face it. The U.S. is overextended, distracted, under-manned and most of all, unwilling to even contemplate a land conflict in western Asia.
As for the Russians, they are hardly likely to take moral instruction from an American government that invaded, without provocation, another sovereign nation and who, unapologetically, endorses torture. We had better hope that the Russians don't have their eye on Poland. America might muster a barrage of harsh language but that's about it.
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Whichever god is receiving the prayers of the RNC , cut me off a slice. Can you imagine the good fortune of the Republicans, who have just learned that the twin plagues of Dick Cheney and George Bush will not be attending the convention in Minneapolis this week? John McCain must be dancing all the way to Minnesota.
The last thing that the new ticket needed was the walking /talking reminder of the catastrophe that was Bush/Cheney 2000 and 2004. That's like bringing Steve Bartman to a rally for the Cubs in '08. Seriously, the GOP organizers would have given GWB the wrong address and the wrong dates if they thought he would actually read them. Laura would have figured it out. Cheney would just follow the smell of burning flesh. Now if they could just figure a way to keep Mitt Romney from attending.
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Seriously!
John Edwards' affair with film producer Rielle Hunter absolutely wins the gold medal in the Synchronized Stupidity competition. The gall/moron quotient needed to attempt a run for national office with an elephantine skeleton in your closet is mind numbing. At least when Rudy Giuliani ran, we already knew he was a cross-dresser. He just hoped we wouldn't mind. The National Enquirer had the Edwards' story last year, for God's sake. How did John think he was going to keep the main stream media at bay? Heaven forbid if he had been nominated for President. Even John McCain could have beaten him. Hadn't he ever heard of Gary Hart? or Eliot Spitzer? or Bill "bulge-in-his-pants" Clinton?
Forget about his wife dying of cancer and his speeches about God and family, this is about a politician so full of hubris and self deluded invincibility that he imagined he could finesse anything.
Saturday, August 30, 2008
Friday, August 29, 2008
...or is Barak Obama the political answer to Frank Sinatra?
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Yeah, he's that good.
I admit it. I'd rather be dazzled than informed. I can get information from the NY Times or The Wall Street Journal. I want my President to excite the country; to get people on their feet and cheering their heads off. I want the crowd to act like they do at their college football homecoming game (minus the exposed beer bellies). The President of the United States should make the populace feel good about themselves. Barak Obama can do it all. (OK, so could Adolph Hitler but you get my point.)
I have an abiding faith that politicians, even corrupt ones, have the country's best interest at heart. Even George W. Bush, misguided mope that he is, doesn't wish the country harm. We all know that, regardless of who wins, America will survive. What's missing in the Republicans is a spark. Will you vote for John McCain because you want to or because you feel you have to? Watergate aside, Nixon might have been a better President than Kennedy but which one would you rather follow?
It doesn't take a genius to be President; Ronald Reagan proved that. What it does take is the ability to inspire. Reagan proved that also. In an age when media personae is so vital, a President has to look like he knows where he's going. After 9/11 Bush's ratings soared. Why? Because he gave a speech that made him look Presidential (Who knew?). It was only after stumbling through the last seven years, when his public appearances were more reminiscent of Alfred E. Newman than FDR, that his numbers tumbled. Talking tough is not leadership. Trying to frighten America into voting for you isn't inspiring. By the way, how terrified must we have been to give GWB a second term?
So how about it America? Let's vote for someone we can be proud of. Let's prove to the world that we are more than belligerent, gay-hating, gun-slingers. In Beijing, we showed that we don't have to be ugly Americans. How about we make that a trend?
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In what can only be interpreted as a sign from God, the Republicans are considering delaying the start of their convention in Minneapolis due to the impending arrival of Hurricane Gustav on the Gulf Coast. It seems that the GOP would rather not kick off their big party when the top story on the web might very well be "New Orleans braces for Katrina Deux". Imagine that!
The Republicans are already stuck with Bush and Cheney as speakers. (Sort of like inviting your unpleasant ex-wife to your daughter's wedding. You may have to do it but you'd rather not.) They are concerned that a new hurricane in the Gulf will serve to remind voters about the Bush administration's nonexistent response to the last storm. Replayed film of the Superdome circa Aug, 2005 would do little to enhance the GOP's reputation as champions of the common man.
How come no one asked Harry Wittington to speak at the GOP convention? You remember Harry? He's the lawyer that Cheney shot in the face in Feb, 2006.
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John McCain has just named Sarah Palin, current governor of Alaska, to be his running mate. Brilliant! In an inspired stroke of genius, McCain has managed to find a ticket mate who is: a) younger than Obama, b) even less experienced than Obama, c) less educated than Obama and d) is from a state with fewer citizens than attended Obama's acceptance speech on Thursday. To be fair, Obama never finished second in the Miss Illinois Beauty Pageant.
note: Laura Bush was elected to inform her husband of McCain's choice. She was also required to inform him that Alaska is, in fact, a state.
Yeah, he's that good.
I admit it. I'd rather be dazzled than informed. I can get information from the NY Times or The Wall Street Journal. I want my President to excite the country; to get people on their feet and cheering their heads off. I want the crowd to act like they do at their college football homecoming game (minus the exposed beer bellies). The President of the United States should make the populace feel good about themselves. Barak Obama can do it all. (OK, so could Adolph Hitler but you get my point.)
I have an abiding faith that politicians, even corrupt ones, have the country's best interest at heart. Even George W. Bush, misguided mope that he is, doesn't wish the country harm. We all know that, regardless of who wins, America will survive. What's missing in the Republicans is a spark. Will you vote for John McCain because you want to or because you feel you have to? Watergate aside, Nixon might have been a better President than Kennedy but which one would you rather follow?
It doesn't take a genius to be President; Ronald Reagan proved that. What it does take is the ability to inspire. Reagan proved that also. In an age when media personae is so vital, a President has to look like he knows where he's going. After 9/11 Bush's ratings soared. Why? Because he gave a speech that made him look Presidential (Who knew?). It was only after stumbling through the last seven years, when his public appearances were more reminiscent of Alfred E. Newman than FDR, that his numbers tumbled. Talking tough is not leadership. Trying to frighten America into voting for you isn't inspiring. By the way, how terrified must we have been to give GWB a second term?
So how about it America? Let's vote for someone we can be proud of. Let's prove to the world that we are more than belligerent, gay-hating, gun-slingers. In Beijing, we showed that we don't have to be ugly Americans. How about we make that a trend?
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In what can only be interpreted as a sign from God, the Republicans are considering delaying the start of their convention in Minneapolis due to the impending arrival of Hurricane Gustav on the Gulf Coast. It seems that the GOP would rather not kick off their big party when the top story on the web might very well be "New Orleans braces for Katrina Deux". Imagine that!
The Republicans are already stuck with Bush and Cheney as speakers. (Sort of like inviting your unpleasant ex-wife to your daughter's wedding. You may have to do it but you'd rather not.) They are concerned that a new hurricane in the Gulf will serve to remind voters about the Bush administration's nonexistent response to the last storm. Replayed film of the Superdome circa Aug, 2005 would do little to enhance the GOP's reputation as champions of the common man.
How come no one asked Harry Wittington to speak at the GOP convention? You remember Harry? He's the lawyer that Cheney shot in the face in Feb, 2006.
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John McCain has just named Sarah Palin, current governor of Alaska, to be his running mate. Brilliant! In an inspired stroke of genius, McCain has managed to find a ticket mate who is: a) younger than Obama, b) even less experienced than Obama, c) less educated than Obama and d) is from a state with fewer citizens than attended Obama's acceptance speech on Thursday. To be fair, Obama never finished second in the Miss Illinois Beauty Pageant.
note: Laura Bush was elected to inform her husband of McCain's choice. She was also required to inform him that Alaska is, in fact, a state.
Thursday, August 28, 2008
...or are the Democrats still born to be mild?
Where's the rage, people? I have spent the last three nights listening to the best and the brightest Democrats in the land making speech after speech about how they support Barak Obama. This being the Democratic National Convention, one would expect that the speakers would support the candidate. After all, these conventions are scripted right down to the time allotted for applause. However, none of the featured presenters have ripped into George W. Bush and his heir apparent, John McCain. I haven't heard Abu Graib discussed once. Katrina, celebrating it's third anniversary this week, got a single mention. Karl Rove, once. Guantanamo, nada. The disgrace that is the Justice Dept., forget it!
What are the Democrats waiting for? They have been handed the greatest gift any political party has ever received. Eight years of the worst leadership since Caligula (and without the nifty sex). The Bush administration has provided Obama with villains who are not only purely evil; they even look purely evil. Why is no one roasting this administration from the dais? Why is no one setting Katie Curic's microphone on fire with condemnations of Donald Rumsfeld and David Addington? Even if it didn't help Barak Obama get elected (and it couldn't hurt) this is the Democrat's big opportunity to remind America what an abject failure George and the Republicans have been. The catharsis alone would be worth it.
Nobody is talking about anything. Has anyone heard the word immigration? I think not. The 12 million people in America illegally were the hottest topic in America just one year ago. Now it's on the third rail of the Democratic agenda along with Social Security.
How about global warming and the environment? Hands? Anyone? These topics are getting no traction because the Democratic poll takers have determined that either the solutions are too painful or the topic will put the public to sleep. The result is speech after speech about better education for American youth, tax aid for the middle class (whoever they are), reducing our dependence on foreign oil (no one says how), a stronger military (which no one wants to pay for) and a laundry list of high-minded emptiness that will be forgotten before the cheering subsides.
The Democrats have been told that, after the rack and ruin of the last eight years, this is their election to lose. The result is a "let's be careful not to offend anyone" rhetoric that basically says, vote for us because we're not George W. Bush. Democrats need to start offending some people. Everyone dances around John McCain's captivity as though he took on the entire North Vietnamese army by himself. Wouldn't want to offend those Vietnam Vets (like they're on the fence about Obama anyway). No one talks about race because we are all hoping that, enchanted by his speechifying, America may not notice that our candidate is a gentleman of color.
Sports analogies are trait but, in football, the fastest way to lose a game is to stop trying to win it and sit on a lead. If the Democrats and Barak Obama don't start talking about real issues, messy and complicated though they are, the people of Kansas and Colorado and Florida will go to the polls on Nov 4th with only one clear image in their heads...old, familiar white guy...young, untested black guy. If that happens, get use to hearing "Hillary in 2012".
What are the Democrats waiting for? They have been handed the greatest gift any political party has ever received. Eight years of the worst leadership since Caligula (and without the nifty sex). The Bush administration has provided Obama with villains who are not only purely evil; they even look purely evil. Why is no one roasting this administration from the dais? Why is no one setting Katie Curic's microphone on fire with condemnations of Donald Rumsfeld and David Addington? Even if it didn't help Barak Obama get elected (and it couldn't hurt) this is the Democrat's big opportunity to remind America what an abject failure George and the Republicans have been. The catharsis alone would be worth it.
Nobody is talking about anything. Has anyone heard the word immigration? I think not. The 12 million people in America illegally were the hottest topic in America just one year ago. Now it's on the third rail of the Democratic agenda along with Social Security.
How about global warming and the environment? Hands? Anyone? These topics are getting no traction because the Democratic poll takers have determined that either the solutions are too painful or the topic will put the public to sleep. The result is speech after speech about better education for American youth, tax aid for the middle class (whoever they are), reducing our dependence on foreign oil (no one says how), a stronger military (which no one wants to pay for) and a laundry list of high-minded emptiness that will be forgotten before the cheering subsides.
The Democrats have been told that, after the rack and ruin of the last eight years, this is their election to lose. The result is a "let's be careful not to offend anyone" rhetoric that basically says, vote for us because we're not George W. Bush. Democrats need to start offending some people. Everyone dances around John McCain's captivity as though he took on the entire North Vietnamese army by himself. Wouldn't want to offend those Vietnam Vets (like they're on the fence about Obama anyway). No one talks about race because we are all hoping that, enchanted by his speechifying, America may not notice that our candidate is a gentleman of color.
Sports analogies are trait but, in football, the fastest way to lose a game is to stop trying to win it and sit on a lead. If the Democrats and Barak Obama don't start talking about real issues, messy and complicated though they are, the people of Kansas and Colorado and Florida will go to the polls on Nov 4th with only one clear image in their heads...old, familiar white guy...young, untested black guy. If that happens, get use to hearing "Hillary in 2012".
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
...or is the RNC a little short on Republicans?
As the drama of the Democratic National Convention abates (hey, after the Clintons speak it's just one big balloon drop) all eyes will turn to Minneapolis. Senator McCain will presumably have chosen a running mate (think Dan Quayle without the warm smile). Republicans from all over America will gather around their Philco radios to hear the speeches that will reaffirm their core, Christian, neocon narrow-minded beliefs. From Monday to Thursday next week they will learn about the evil, liberal, junior Senator from godless Chicago. The word will go forth from the party leadership about how the country is on the verge of destruction at the hands of gays, abortionists and cut-and-run pacifists. The GOP has hand-picked a string of stalwart sons of conservatism to carry the torch of orthodoxy across the airwaves to the faithful.
Because the lead-off hitter sets the tone for the entire convention, the Republicans have selected, wait for it, an East-coast Jew...Joe Lieberman. That's right! The man that America would most likely want to have a glass of Mogan David with, will forgo his lifelong liberal stands on abortion and gay unions (he's in favor of both) for the shock value of standing with the Republican faithful. The single issue which binds Lieberman to McCain and possibly the rest of GOPdom is his support for the Iraq war. Apparently the RNC was able to overlook Joe's support for affirmative action, women's rights, the Clean Air Act of 1990 (he co-sponsored), no drilling in the ANWR and gun control. This is my kind of conservative.
Following Lieberman is everybody's favorite terminator Arnold Schwarzenegger. As the current Governor of California, Ahhnol brings his impressive neocon record to the podium. Details include an initiative to curb greenhouse gas emissions that was so extensive the White House got it squashed, a defense of marijuana use, and a stated admiration for Adolf Hitler. (Granted, that was a long time ago but so was McCain's incarceration.) Gov. Schwarzenegger will apparently lecture on the minimal dangers of sleeping with Democrats, should McCain choose Lieberman as his running mate.
Having absorbed about as much of this conservative orthodoxy as they can stand, listeners get a break as the comic relief takes center stage...Dick Cheney. As the man whose smile once made Hannibal Lecter give up liver, Cheney will be a welcome relief from the political ramblings of his predecessors. Cheney has no political position on anything. He only ran for vice president because he was taller than Karl Rove. He will speak about how, if you have no actual soul, anything is possible. The actual title of the speech is "How to be Number One While Disguised as a Giant Steaming Pile of Number Two".
The convention gets better after Monday night. Rudy Giuliani will lead off on Tuesday and he will be joined by Fred Thompson. The two non-nominated politicians will discourse on the fact that 90% of life may be just showing up, but it's no way to be nominated for President. Tom Ridge will follow with an explaination of how his department of Homeland Security came up with all those alert colors.
Cindy McCain will speak on Wednesday. Her remarks will include a clarification of that "how many houses do you own" thing. Most of them are hers, so she should know. This was an unfair criticism from the start. It's like asking Ferdinand Marcos how many pair of shoes his wife owned. (Had he been asked, his response would no- doubt include his incarceration at the hands of the Vietnamese).
It only gets better from there folks so, if you don't have TIVO, get ready to pop a blank tape in the old VCR. This promises to be better than your wedding video.
Because the lead-off hitter sets the tone for the entire convention, the Republicans have selected, wait for it, an East-coast Jew...Joe Lieberman. That's right! The man that America would most likely want to have a glass of Mogan David with, will forgo his lifelong liberal stands on abortion and gay unions (he's in favor of both) for the shock value of standing with the Republican faithful. The single issue which binds Lieberman to McCain and possibly the rest of GOPdom is his support for the Iraq war. Apparently the RNC was able to overlook Joe's support for affirmative action, women's rights, the Clean Air Act of 1990 (he co-sponsored), no drilling in the ANWR and gun control. This is my kind of conservative.
Following Lieberman is everybody's favorite terminator Arnold Schwarzenegger. As the current Governor of California, Ahhnol brings his impressive neocon record to the podium. Details include an initiative to curb greenhouse gas emissions that was so extensive the White House got it squashed, a defense of marijuana use, and a stated admiration for Adolf Hitler. (Granted, that was a long time ago but so was McCain's incarceration.) Gov. Schwarzenegger will apparently lecture on the minimal dangers of sleeping with Democrats, should McCain choose Lieberman as his running mate.
Having absorbed about as much of this conservative orthodoxy as they can stand, listeners get a break as the comic relief takes center stage...Dick Cheney. As the man whose smile once made Hannibal Lecter give up liver, Cheney will be a welcome relief from the political ramblings of his predecessors. Cheney has no political position on anything. He only ran for vice president because he was taller than Karl Rove. He will speak about how, if you have no actual soul, anything is possible. The actual title of the speech is "How to be Number One While Disguised as a Giant Steaming Pile of Number Two".
The convention gets better after Monday night. Rudy Giuliani will lead off on Tuesday and he will be joined by Fred Thompson. The two non-nominated politicians will discourse on the fact that 90% of life may be just showing up, but it's no way to be nominated for President. Tom Ridge will follow with an explaination of how his department of Homeland Security came up with all those alert colors.
Cindy McCain will speak on Wednesday. Her remarks will include a clarification of that "how many houses do you own" thing. Most of them are hers, so she should know. This was an unfair criticism from the start. It's like asking Ferdinand Marcos how many pair of shoes his wife owned. (Had he been asked, his response would no- doubt include his incarceration at the hands of the Vietnamese).
It only gets better from there folks so, if you don't have TIVO, get ready to pop a blank tape in the old VCR. This promises to be better than your wedding video.
...or is a prison camp not the best training ground for a President?
Somebody has to say it so it might as well be me: getting shot down by the North Vietnamese and tossed into a prison camp for 5+ years may be an excellent qualification for a technical advisor on a Chuck Norris film but not to be President of the United States. Now, I feel much better.
There is a difference between admiration and credentials. It took balls for John McCain to refuse a pardon from the Vietnamese when they offered to let him out because he was the son of an Admiral. Unfortunately, if balls were (or was) the only criterion to be president, we would have elected Evel Knievel. The people at General Motors or IBM might admire Senator McCain but they aren't likely to ask him to take command of their companies. A man who has only recently made the acquaintance of the Internet is barely qualified to replace Michael Scott at Dunder Mifflin let alone take command of America. (Although we could replace the caliber of the current Chief Executive from any bowling alley in Mississippi).
This whole "Hogan's Heroes for President" issue wouldn't be as big a factor except that McCain and his posse drag his POW clothes out of the closet at every possible opportunity. They wave it like a flag in front of every gaffe that their candidate makes. McCain actually told Jay Leno on Monday that the reason he couldn't remember how many houses he owns is because, as a prisoner of war, he didn't own a house, or a table or a chair. How is that a response to the contention that, as the husband of a rich wife, he is out of touch with the people whose vote he's seeking? McCain is the August reincarnation of Rudy Giuliani's "a noun, a verb and 9/11".
McCain's time as a guest in the Hanoi Hilton can be effectively trotted out by the campaign to indignantly parry any attack on the candidate's character or courage. Unfortunately for them, the Democrats under Barak Obama aren't craven enough or dumb enough to denigrate McCain's service. They leave that bit of mud-slinging to the Republicans.
America has been nominating and electing military heroes since G. Washington. We have not, however, turned over the reins of government to a man whose primary contribution to the war effort was to be held captive. By continuing to trumpet his POW credentials as proof positive of his ability to lead, he invites his critics to ask, exactly what aspect of captivity provided the slightest training for a President in 2008? Have your staff get back to us.
There is a difference between admiration and credentials. It took balls for John McCain to refuse a pardon from the Vietnamese when they offered to let him out because he was the son of an Admiral. Unfortunately, if balls were (or was) the only criterion to be president, we would have elected Evel Knievel. The people at General Motors or IBM might admire Senator McCain but they aren't likely to ask him to take command of their companies. A man who has only recently made the acquaintance of the Internet is barely qualified to replace Michael Scott at Dunder Mifflin let alone take command of America. (Although we could replace the caliber of the current Chief Executive from any bowling alley in Mississippi).
This whole "Hogan's Heroes for President" issue wouldn't be as big a factor except that McCain and his posse drag his POW clothes out of the closet at every possible opportunity. They wave it like a flag in front of every gaffe that their candidate makes. McCain actually told Jay Leno on Monday that the reason he couldn't remember how many houses he owns is because, as a prisoner of war, he didn't own a house, or a table or a chair. How is that a response to the contention that, as the husband of a rich wife, he is out of touch with the people whose vote he's seeking? McCain is the August reincarnation of Rudy Giuliani's "a noun, a verb and 9/11".
McCain's time as a guest in the Hanoi Hilton can be effectively trotted out by the campaign to indignantly parry any attack on the candidate's character or courage. Unfortunately for them, the Democrats under Barak Obama aren't craven enough or dumb enough to denigrate McCain's service. They leave that bit of mud-slinging to the Republicans.
America has been nominating and electing military heroes since G. Washington. We have not, however, turned over the reins of government to a man whose primary contribution to the war effort was to be held captive. By continuing to trumpet his POW credentials as proof positive of his ability to lead, he invites his critics to ask, exactly what aspect of captivity provided the slightest training for a President in 2008? Have your staff get back to us.
Monday, August 25, 2008
...or is Joe Biden the last piece of the puzzle?
Unless you have been living under water with Michael Phelps for the last three days, you know that Barak Obama has chosen Delaware Senator Joe Biden as his Vice Presidential running mate. By all accounts, Biden represents an intelligent, thoughtful choice. Although Senator Biden will not bring a vital swing state into the blue column (think Kaine of Virginia or Sebelius in Kansas), the fact is, not since Lyndon Johnson has a VP delivered a state that the ticket could not otherwise expect to carry. However, to suggest that Senator Obama is merely following in the footsteps of the current occupant of 1600 Pennsylvania Ave. is a comparison without foundation.
Dick Cheney was a cantankerous, mean-spirited, agenda-driven, single-minded political hatchetman...and those are a few of his more endearing qualities. He was installed on GWB's ticket to add gravitas to a candidate who couldn't identify the location of most of the states that voted for him. The country was being assured that it was OK to vote for someone you wanted to have a beer with because Old Dick Cheney would be available to take the conn if anything terrible happened. Well it did and he wasn't.
It's true that, like Biden, Cheney wanted to run for the top job. It is also true that Cheney has such a poisonous public personae he wouldn't even vote for himself. Cheney brought more baggage to the White House than Paris Hilton brings to Vegas. As Secretary of Defense for Bush 41, he gutted the Defense budget and cultivated a reputation as an unpleasant autocrat. As VP he was determined to wage war with all of the countries he saw as a threat. He was not about to let the fact that he wasn't Commander-in-Chief stand in his way.
Biden, on the other hand, is considered the nicest guy in the Senate. Even the gang across the aisle likes him. As a long-serving member of the Senate Foreign Relations Committee, Biden brings knowledge and experience to the ticket without all of the bile of the present VP. Think of him as the anti-Cheney. He has a style that encourages compromise. People want to work with him. This will be a welcome change from the "do it my way or I'll kill you...really, I'll kill you" method currently employed by the man who's only a heartbeat away from being President.
When all the foreign policy bluster is cleared away, the real problems in America are domestic. The Bush polarization policy virtually ensured that legislative gridlock would prevail, even when the Republicans controlled both houses. Joe Biden will be the perfect person to forge consensus and foster a sense of shared responsibility. He could hardly do any worse than his predecessor.
Obama needed a running mate with a little more ink on his resume and Joe Biden is the best man for the job. Who knows? He may even be able to keep the Clintons in line; and without a whip and a chair. That feat alone should win him a place in the hearts of Democrats.
Dick Cheney was a cantankerous, mean-spirited, agenda-driven, single-minded political hatchetman...and those are a few of his more endearing qualities. He was installed on GWB's ticket to add gravitas to a candidate who couldn't identify the location of most of the states that voted for him. The country was being assured that it was OK to vote for someone you wanted to have a beer with because Old Dick Cheney would be available to take the conn if anything terrible happened. Well it did and he wasn't.
It's true that, like Biden, Cheney wanted to run for the top job. It is also true that Cheney has such a poisonous public personae he wouldn't even vote for himself. Cheney brought more baggage to the White House than Paris Hilton brings to Vegas. As Secretary of Defense for Bush 41, he gutted the Defense budget and cultivated a reputation as an unpleasant autocrat. As VP he was determined to wage war with all of the countries he saw as a threat. He was not about to let the fact that he wasn't Commander-in-Chief stand in his way.
Biden, on the other hand, is considered the nicest guy in the Senate. Even the gang across the aisle likes him. As a long-serving member of the Senate Foreign Relations Committee, Biden brings knowledge and experience to the ticket without all of the bile of the present VP. Think of him as the anti-Cheney. He has a style that encourages compromise. People want to work with him. This will be a welcome change from the "do it my way or I'll kill you...really, I'll kill you" method currently employed by the man who's only a heartbeat away from being President.
When all the foreign policy bluster is cleared away, the real problems in America are domestic. The Bush polarization policy virtually ensured that legislative gridlock would prevail, even when the Republicans controlled both houses. Joe Biden will be the perfect person to forge consensus and foster a sense of shared responsibility. He could hardly do any worse than his predecessor.
Obama needed a running mate with a little more ink on his resume and Joe Biden is the best man for the job. Who knows? He may even be able to keep the Clintons in line; and without a whip and a chair. That feat alone should win him a place in the hearts of Democrats.
Thursday, August 14, 2008
...or are we all hoping that the Chinese confiscate Bela Karolyi's passport?
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Honestly! Forget the 12 million illegal Latinos in America. If there's anything that will make you rethink America's immigration policy it's the Karolyis. Bela and Marta have expended more gas in Beijing this week than any of China's factories. We were sick of this pair, nine Olympics ago. Yes folks, they've been around since Montreal in 1976. At least then they were the enemy. As coach of the Romanian team (Remember Nadia Comaneci?) Bela was the classic villain; the evil communist with the gymnastics factory.
Now, he and Marta work for the good guys. Since 1980 they have lived and worked in Houston...thankfully in relative obscurity. Still, every four years they emerge like cicadas to rail against anyone or anything that prevents their moppets from capturing the gold.
This time the complaint is that the Chinese gymnasts are too young. IOC regulations dictate that the girls must be at least 16 years old to compete. Most of the Chinese girls look about seven but westerners are poor judges of Asian ages. Anyway, passports and birth certificates are issued by the Chinese government so any chance of independent proof of age is difficult. Like racehorses, all the contestants appear to be the same age, 16. (At least the Chinese had the good grace to vary the dates of birth.) Anyway, both Bela and Marta are screaming that, absent a verification process, their should be no age limit. Good luck with that.
Sadly, it was not the age of the Chinese gymnasts that caused Alicia Sacramone to fall off the balance beam or miss the landing during the floor exercise. Stuff happens! After the competition, Ms. Sacramone took full responsibility for her mistakes. The Karolyis blamed everyone else. Perhaps next time, in London NBC should hire Ms. Sacramone as color commentator and send Bela back to Romania for a class class.
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Honestly! Forget the 12 million illegal Latinos in America. If there's anything that will make you rethink America's immigration policy it's the Karolyis. Bela and Marta have expended more gas in Beijing this week than any of China's factories. We were sick of this pair, nine Olympics ago. Yes folks, they've been around since Montreal in 1976. At least then they were the enemy. As coach of the Romanian team (Remember Nadia Comaneci?) Bela was the classic villain; the evil communist with the gymnastics factory.
Now, he and Marta work for the good guys. Since 1980 they have lived and worked in Houston...thankfully in relative obscurity. Still, every four years they emerge like cicadas to rail against anyone or anything that prevents their moppets from capturing the gold.
This time the complaint is that the Chinese gymnasts are too young. IOC regulations dictate that the girls must be at least 16 years old to compete. Most of the Chinese girls look about seven but westerners are poor judges of Asian ages. Anyway, passports and birth certificates are issued by the Chinese government so any chance of independent proof of age is difficult. Like racehorses, all the contestants appear to be the same age, 16. (At least the Chinese had the good grace to vary the dates of birth.) Anyway, both Bela and Marta are screaming that, absent a verification process, their should be no age limit. Good luck with that.
Sadly, it was not the age of the Chinese gymnasts that caused Alicia Sacramone to fall off the balance beam or miss the landing during the floor exercise. Stuff happens! After the competition, Ms. Sacramone took full responsibility for her mistakes. The Karolyis blamed everyone else. Perhaps next time, in London NBC should hire Ms. Sacramone as color commentator and send Bela back to Romania for a class class.
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Friday, August 08, 2008
...or are the Olympics getting in the way of the Brett Farve story?
Item
All those who would like Brett Farve to play his next football season on the moon, signify by raising your middle finger in the general direction of Kiln, Miss. Having been traded to the Jets from the Packers,at least he's still wearing a green four on his jersey. Whoopee!
This story has gotten more ink than Anna Nichole's baby. (Come to think of it, both issues involve big boobs.) Farve has been in and out of retirement more times than Henry Kissinger. Enough already! Go to New York and find out what it's like to cheered and booed in the same quarter. Jet fans haven't seen a decent team since Lyndon Johnson was in office. If Farve stumbles in New York he'll wish he'd taken up professional golf.
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Item
It's nice to see that being a field-grade officer in the U.S. Armed Forces doesn't mean that you lose your gag reflex. The senior military men on the Tribunal in Guantanamo were sufficiently appalled by the evidence in the Salim Hamdan "trial" that, rather than sentence Mr. Hamdan to the thirty years demanded by the prosecution, they opted for 5 1/2 years. Considering that Mr. Hamdan has already served five years at Gitmo, he should be out by Ramadan. That is, of course, if the Bush Government doesn't make good on a threat to hold the prisoner anyway... just because.
Apparently the star chamber plan that George the Lessor concocted (with help from Senator John McCain) isn't working out the way he'd hoped. The case for extended incarceration of the Gitmo guests is so full of holes that even our career soldiers and sailors are laughing. One would presume that the case against Mr. Hamdan was the strongest and the one most likely to produce both a quick conviction and a severe sentence. Wrong again, Mr. President! In the future, should you see a group of Army Colonels and Navy Captains walking around holding their noses, you'll know what their current duty assignment is. They're on the Tribunal.
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Item
Anyone who is still wringing their hands over Barak Obama's lack of experience in world affairs need only look at the current holder of the office for comfort. After eight years as Leader of the Free World, the tactics of GWB are as ham-handed, dull-witted and ill-conceived as the day he stumbled into the White House some 2765 days ago.
Having decided to attend the opening ceremonies of the twenty-ninth Olympiad in Beijing, Curious George is determined to insult the Chinese at every turn. George, if you're so disappointed with the way the Chinese deal with their own people and their suborning of genocide in Darfur, just stay the hell home. Nobody wants a scold at the Olympic party.
By the way, did you see George with the Olympic basketball team? He looked like Vern Troyer with bigger ears.
All those who would like Brett Farve to play his next football season on the moon, signify by raising your middle finger in the general direction of Kiln, Miss. Having been traded to the Jets from the Packers,at least he's still wearing a green four on his jersey. Whoopee!
This story has gotten more ink than Anna Nichole's baby. (Come to think of it, both issues involve big boobs.) Farve has been in and out of retirement more times than Henry Kissinger. Enough already! Go to New York and find out what it's like to cheered and booed in the same quarter. Jet fans haven't seen a decent team since Lyndon Johnson was in office. If Farve stumbles in New York he'll wish he'd taken up professional golf.
_____________________________________________________________________________________
Item
It's nice to see that being a field-grade officer in the U.S. Armed Forces doesn't mean that you lose your gag reflex. The senior military men on the Tribunal in Guantanamo were sufficiently appalled by the evidence in the Salim Hamdan "trial" that, rather than sentence Mr. Hamdan to the thirty years demanded by the prosecution, they opted for 5 1/2 years. Considering that Mr. Hamdan has already served five years at Gitmo, he should be out by Ramadan. That is, of course, if the Bush Government doesn't make good on a threat to hold the prisoner anyway... just because.
Apparently the star chamber plan that George the Lessor concocted (with help from Senator John McCain) isn't working out the way he'd hoped. The case for extended incarceration of the Gitmo guests is so full of holes that even our career soldiers and sailors are laughing. One would presume that the case against Mr. Hamdan was the strongest and the one most likely to produce both a quick conviction and a severe sentence. Wrong again, Mr. President! In the future, should you see a group of Army Colonels and Navy Captains walking around holding their noses, you'll know what their current duty assignment is. They're on the Tribunal.
____________________________________________________________________________________
Item
Anyone who is still wringing their hands over Barak Obama's lack of experience in world affairs need only look at the current holder of the office for comfort. After eight years as Leader of the Free World, the tactics of GWB are as ham-handed, dull-witted and ill-conceived as the day he stumbled into the White House some 2765 days ago.
Having decided to attend the opening ceremonies of the twenty-ninth Olympiad in Beijing, Curious George is determined to insult the Chinese at every turn. George, if you're so disappointed with the way the Chinese deal with their own people and their suborning of genocide in Darfur, just stay the hell home. Nobody wants a scold at the Olympic party.
By the way, did you see George with the Olympic basketball team? He looked like Vern Troyer with bigger ears.
Thursday, August 07, 2008
...or is George W. Bush actively pursuing a single-digit approval rating?
The Bush administration is happily strutting around the White House today, congratulating themselves on the successful prosecution of Salim Ahmed Hamdan. After six-plus years of illegally grabbing up foreign nationals (Mr. Hamdan is Yemeni) and locking them away in Guantamano Bay without formal charges, right of counsel, trial or even a phone call; there has finally been a conviction.
And who did we prosecute? Was is Mulah Omar, the head of the Taliban? How about Ayman al-Zawahiri, the number two man in al qaeda? Nope! The entire weight of the United States Armed Forces and the Federal Government was brought to bear on....Osama bin Laden's chauffeur. Kind of makes you proud, doesn't it?
But wait! As car hop to the head evil-doer, Mr. Hamdan must have been guilty of something else. After all, he was right there. Did bin Laden send him for coffee when he was planning all those terrorist plots? The U.S. government thought so. They charged Hamdan with conspiracy to commit al qaeda terrorist acts as well as the lesser charge of playing Cato to bin Laden's Green Hornet.
Alas, even when tried by a jury of hand-picked officers from the Pentagon, the court could only convict Hamdan on the chauffeuring charge. (Just for the record; Hamdan admitted to being bin Laden's driver all along.) One can only assume (assumption being necessary because the trials are held in secret) that the case against Mr. Hamdan was so weak that even the military would have gagged on a conviction. I guess even Army Colonels have to sleep nights.
Nonetheless, George & Co. consider this a complete vindication of the military commission structure. Their spin is that Mr. Hamdan's acquittal on the conspiracy charge is proof that justice is possible, even behind closed doors...with no jury... and secret testimony...and ...and no cross examinations and absent witnesses...and with virtually every participant wearing a military uniform. It remains unclear whether Mr. Hamdan was charged with any traffic-related offenses (failure to signal, parking too close to a hydrant,etc.).
The conviction of bin Laden's chauffeur has drawn interesting reactions from around the world. Former participants in the Nuremberg trials expressed dismay that they failed to prosecute Hitler's green grocer and seamstress. n.b. The Nurmemberg commission actually considered prosecuting Hitler's driver but decided that he was too small a fish. The world court at the Hague was concerned at having allowed Slobodan Milosevic's food taster to escape punishment. And, the Russian government is standing by their decision not to prosecute Stalin's butler and his daughter's tennis coach.
America can rest easier tonight. A dangerous driver is behind bars (where he's been anyway for at least four years). The man responsible for insuring that Osama bin Laden was transported from point A to point B is locked away. Sadly, we were not able to apprehend Mr. Hamdan while he was squiring his famous passenger around the hills of Tora Bora. Alas, we don't even have the car. At least that might have provided a clue as to where bin Laden is spending his nights. We might have snagged an old motel receipt or a discarded book of matches.
Former chief prosecutor-turned- critic Col. Morris Davis spoke volumes when he was quoted as saying if Mr. Hamdan "gets a hefty sentence, it's got to send cold chills down the spine of bin Laden's barber and dry cleaner." What can I say except God is Great!
And who did we prosecute? Was is Mulah Omar, the head of the Taliban? How about Ayman al-Zawahiri, the number two man in al qaeda? Nope! The entire weight of the United States Armed Forces and the Federal Government was brought to bear on....Osama bin Laden's chauffeur. Kind of makes you proud, doesn't it?
But wait! As car hop to the head evil-doer, Mr. Hamdan must have been guilty of something else. After all, he was right there. Did bin Laden send him for coffee when he was planning all those terrorist plots? The U.S. government thought so. They charged Hamdan with conspiracy to commit al qaeda terrorist acts as well as the lesser charge of playing Cato to bin Laden's Green Hornet.
Alas, even when tried by a jury of hand-picked officers from the Pentagon, the court could only convict Hamdan on the chauffeuring charge. (Just for the record; Hamdan admitted to being bin Laden's driver all along.) One can only assume (assumption being necessary because the trials are held in secret) that the case against Mr. Hamdan was so weak that even the military would have gagged on a conviction. I guess even Army Colonels have to sleep nights.
Nonetheless, George & Co. consider this a complete vindication of the military commission structure. Their spin is that Mr. Hamdan's acquittal on the conspiracy charge is proof that justice is possible, even behind closed doors...with no jury... and secret testimony...and ...and no cross examinations and absent witnesses...and with virtually every participant wearing a military uniform. It remains unclear whether Mr. Hamdan was charged with any traffic-related offenses (failure to signal, parking too close to a hydrant,etc.).
The conviction of bin Laden's chauffeur has drawn interesting reactions from around the world. Former participants in the Nuremberg trials expressed dismay that they failed to prosecute Hitler's green grocer and seamstress. n.b. The Nurmemberg commission actually considered prosecuting Hitler's driver but decided that he was too small a fish. The world court at the Hague was concerned at having allowed Slobodan Milosevic's food taster to escape punishment. And, the Russian government is standing by their decision not to prosecute Stalin's butler and his daughter's tennis coach.
America can rest easier tonight. A dangerous driver is behind bars (where he's been anyway for at least four years). The man responsible for insuring that Osama bin Laden was transported from point A to point B is locked away. Sadly, we were not able to apprehend Mr. Hamdan while he was squiring his famous passenger around the hills of Tora Bora. Alas, we don't even have the car. At least that might have provided a clue as to where bin Laden is spending his nights. We might have snagged an old motel receipt or a discarded book of matches.
Former chief prosecutor-turned- critic Col. Morris Davis spoke volumes when he was quoted as saying if Mr. Hamdan "gets a hefty sentence, it's got to send cold chills down the spine of bin Laden's barber and dry cleaner." What can I say except God is Great!
Tuesday, August 05, 2008
...or are tire gauges a clear indication of which campaign is flat?
Let us all take a minute and bow our heads in memory of John McCain's Straight Talk Express. The vehicle that became a symbol of "no more politics as usual" has officially run into a ditch and been abandoned. The dents are too numerous to fix. The paint has peeled away, exposing cancerous rust. The engine, once a potent force, now coughs and sputters like the organ that pumps Dick Chenney's blood. (Why does calling it a "heart" seem so inappropriate?)
We knew the old girl was in trouble when her driver began supporting legislation and policies that he had opposed for most of his political career: tax reductions, drilling for oil in the ANWR, constitutional amendments on marriage, torture and his views on Jerry Falwell. Each of these changes in direction has inflicted serious damage to the steering capability of the bus. The net effect has been that, at this point, no one knows what course the Straight Talk Express is taking. One thing is clear, however; the vehicle has developed a pronounced lurch to the right.
Remember when the old bus was new? It was Feb, 2000 and there was John "Straight Talk" McCain holding court for a small army of reporters. John would go on for hours talking about how America was focused on the wrong issues. There were real enemies out there and we were electing presidential candidates based on prayer in schools and gay marriage. McCain even tackled tough issues like immagration. But, that was a simpler time. A time before the South Carolina primary when McCain realized that pandering to the neocon right was the only road to Pennsylvania Ave.
The STE has logged a lot of miles since 2000 and it's definitely showing its age. When McCain won the Republican nomination the bus appeared ready for one final tour. The candidate promised to discard the fear and smear politics that have become the road map to victory for the GOP. This campaign was to be run on the issues. No personal attacks or dirty tricks. No bumping the other guy when the judges weren't looking. Alas, it was not to be.
This week, McCain's opponent unveiled a modest plan for reducing America's addiction to gasoline. Among those measures was a reminder to drivers that they can reduce fuel consumption by keeping their tires inflated. Hardly a panacea but it had the virtue of being something that we could do today. Americans could shake off the feeling of helplessness and hopelessness by merely adding a few psi to their tires.
Rather than offer an alternative solution, Senator McCain immediately belittled the idea. "We will not reduce America's dependence on foreign oil by inflating our tires." Had this been 1943 one can hear McCain say, "We will not defeat Nazi Germany by saving fat in a can". Government experts estimate that we can reduce our oil consumption by about 3.3% using properly inflated tires. Why is that a bad idea?
The driver of the STE immediately ran to a novelty shop and began producing tire gauges with "Obama Energy Policy" printed on them. You can own one for a $25 contribution to John McCain. Does this sound like a campaign "run on the issues"? After eight years in office, is this the best the Republicans can do? After they have: run the economy into the ground, destroyed American prestige overseas, started an illegal, unjustifiable war, gutted the EPA and Interior and perverted the Justice Department, throwing spit balls at the other guy looks like a good plan. I guess when your current President has a lower approval rating than Eddie Murphy's latest movie, mockery is about all that's left.
It's actually rather sad. John McCain really sold himself as something different. He was going to make us forget Rove, Chenney, Rumsfeld, Addington, Gonzales, Goodling and all of the rest of the Bush brigade. Standing in the middle of a sewer, he was the man with the golden plunger. But that was then and this is now. The Straight Talk Express is a wreck now; left on the side of the political road along with McCain's principals and his convictions. If there is a moral to the story it's this...don't let Monica Goodling interview your next bus driver.
We knew the old girl was in trouble when her driver began supporting legislation and policies that he had opposed for most of his political career: tax reductions, drilling for oil in the ANWR, constitutional amendments on marriage, torture and his views on Jerry Falwell. Each of these changes in direction has inflicted serious damage to the steering capability of the bus. The net effect has been that, at this point, no one knows what course the Straight Talk Express is taking. One thing is clear, however; the vehicle has developed a pronounced lurch to the right.
Remember when the old bus was new? It was Feb, 2000 and there was John "Straight Talk" McCain holding court for a small army of reporters. John would go on for hours talking about how America was focused on the wrong issues. There were real enemies out there and we were electing presidential candidates based on prayer in schools and gay marriage. McCain even tackled tough issues like immagration. But, that was a simpler time. A time before the South Carolina primary when McCain realized that pandering to the neocon right was the only road to Pennsylvania Ave.
The STE has logged a lot of miles since 2000 and it's definitely showing its age. When McCain won the Republican nomination the bus appeared ready for one final tour. The candidate promised to discard the fear and smear politics that have become the road map to victory for the GOP. This campaign was to be run on the issues. No personal attacks or dirty tricks. No bumping the other guy when the judges weren't looking. Alas, it was not to be.
This week, McCain's opponent unveiled a modest plan for reducing America's addiction to gasoline. Among those measures was a reminder to drivers that they can reduce fuel consumption by keeping their tires inflated. Hardly a panacea but it had the virtue of being something that we could do today. Americans could shake off the feeling of helplessness and hopelessness by merely adding a few psi to their tires.
Rather than offer an alternative solution, Senator McCain immediately belittled the idea. "We will not reduce America's dependence on foreign oil by inflating our tires." Had this been 1943 one can hear McCain say, "We will not defeat Nazi Germany by saving fat in a can". Government experts estimate that we can reduce our oil consumption by about 3.3% using properly inflated tires. Why is that a bad idea?
The driver of the STE immediately ran to a novelty shop and began producing tire gauges with "Obama Energy Policy" printed on them. You can own one for a $25 contribution to John McCain. Does this sound like a campaign "run on the issues"? After eight years in office, is this the best the Republicans can do? After they have: run the economy into the ground, destroyed American prestige overseas, started an illegal, unjustifiable war, gutted the EPA and Interior and perverted the Justice Department, throwing spit balls at the other guy looks like a good plan. I guess when your current President has a lower approval rating than Eddie Murphy's latest movie, mockery is about all that's left.
It's actually rather sad. John McCain really sold himself as something different. He was going to make us forget Rove, Chenney, Rumsfeld, Addington, Gonzales, Goodling and all of the rest of the Bush brigade. Standing in the middle of a sewer, he was the man with the golden plunger. But that was then and this is now. The Straight Talk Express is a wreck now; left on the side of the political road along with McCain's principals and his convictions. If there is a moral to the story it's this...don't let Monica Goodling interview your next bus driver.
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
...if at first you don't succeed, you shouldn't try skydiving?
Item
Everyone who was surprised to learn that the Bush White House was playing politics with the Justice Department, please raise your hand. Anybody? OK! Anyone who would be astounded to learn that the Bush White House wasn't playing politics with Justice and every other arm of government, every bureau, department and committee, please raise your hands. That's better!
Monica Goodling, the vetting flunkie who screened applicants for jobs at Justice based on whether their nickers were blue or red, may lose her license to practice law. This represents a small loss considering her degree is from Regent University Law School (Motto: "Legally speaking, what would Jesus do?") Ms. Goodling may be the second Monica to polish something for the President but she is hardly the only sinner in this congregation. If someone doesn't haul Alberto Gonzales in front of a grand jury to explain how he perverted the Justice Department to curry favor with Karl Rove, then there is no God. (No offense, Ms. Goodling) .
To an American populace whose principal obsession is a new season of Wife Swap and Dancing with the Stars, none of this will make much of an impression. Stacking the Justice Department with God-fearing, right-thinking neocons will appear to be business-as-usual in government. Besides, what's wrong with lawyers of faith? Answer: Nothing, if they are also qualified attorneys. Evaluating applicants by checking pant legs for signs of excessive kneeling, (if not always praying), is not considered the best way to insure competent hiring.
Sadly, the selection process at Justice, aka "Law and Order - Political Intent", valued conservative credentials over professional ones. In other words, we don't much care where (or if) you went to Law School (those places are full of liberals anyway). We only care that you believe that George W. Bush is God and Karl Rove is his prophet. How would it be if the Army used this process to promote generals? Hey, do you think the President lets the Air Force pick pilots for Air Force One based on whether they contributed to Greenpeace?
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Item
You probably didn't need to be reminded of the sorry state of "the best country in the world" but, as an indication of who we are, attend the case of Patrica and Milton Harper of Lake City, GA.
The Harper family was one of those incredibly lucky folks that received a brand new McMansion courtesy of Extreme Makeover: Home Edition. For those of you who crave a more intellectual fare, say, Sponge Bob Square Pants; Extreme Makeover rebuilds "deserving" people's homes while they are away on a lovely vacation. The entire project is completed in seven days (kind of Biblical, ain't it?) including commercials. In the case of the Harpers, the house was a starter castle complete with turrets.
When the Harper clan returned from Disney World they were handed the keys to their villa along with enough cash to pay the taxes for 25 years. If you imagine that the Harpers proceeded to live happily ever after, you've been watching too much Sponge Bob.
Before the TV trucks were out of the driveway, the grateful Harpers were hot-footing it to the bank using the house to leverage a $455,000 loan to finance a construction business. Naturally, the venture folded and the house is now in foreclosure. I love this country!
These are the very sort of people that the Congress proposes to bail out of their mortgages. The same folks who shake their heads at welfare mothers and opine on how Americans don't take responsibility for their actions. They profess to be conservatives, demanding lower taxes and government off their backs; except, of course, when the government program will benefit them.
Recent polls reflect that 80% of Americans feel that the country is headed in the wrong direction. Blaming a spongehead like George W. Bush is too easy. "The fault, dear Brutus, lies not in our stars but in ourselves."
Everyone who was surprised to learn that the Bush White House was playing politics with the Justice Department, please raise your hand. Anybody? OK! Anyone who would be astounded to learn that the Bush White House wasn't playing politics with Justice and every other arm of government, every bureau, department and committee, please raise your hands. That's better!
Monica Goodling, the vetting flunkie who screened applicants for jobs at Justice based on whether their nickers were blue or red, may lose her license to practice law. This represents a small loss considering her degree is from Regent University Law School (Motto: "Legally speaking, what would Jesus do?") Ms. Goodling may be the second Monica to polish something for the President but she is hardly the only sinner in this congregation. If someone doesn't haul Alberto Gonzales in front of a grand jury to explain how he perverted the Justice Department to curry favor with Karl Rove, then there is no God. (No offense, Ms. Goodling) .
To an American populace whose principal obsession is a new season of Wife Swap and Dancing with the Stars, none of this will make much of an impression. Stacking the Justice Department with God-fearing, right-thinking neocons will appear to be business-as-usual in government. Besides, what's wrong with lawyers of faith? Answer: Nothing, if they are also qualified attorneys. Evaluating applicants by checking pant legs for signs of excessive kneeling, (if not always praying), is not considered the best way to insure competent hiring.
Sadly, the selection process at Justice, aka "Law and Order - Political Intent", valued conservative credentials over professional ones. In other words, we don't much care where (or if) you went to Law School (those places are full of liberals anyway). We only care that you believe that George W. Bush is God and Karl Rove is his prophet. How would it be if the Army used this process to promote generals? Hey, do you think the President lets the Air Force pick pilots for Air Force One based on whether they contributed to Greenpeace?
_____________________________________________________________________________________
Item
You probably didn't need to be reminded of the sorry state of "the best country in the world" but, as an indication of who we are, attend the case of Patrica and Milton Harper of Lake City, GA.
The Harper family was one of those incredibly lucky folks that received a brand new McMansion courtesy of Extreme Makeover: Home Edition. For those of you who crave a more intellectual fare, say, Sponge Bob Square Pants; Extreme Makeover rebuilds "deserving" people's homes while they are away on a lovely vacation. The entire project is completed in seven days (kind of Biblical, ain't it?) including commercials. In the case of the Harpers, the house was a starter castle complete with turrets.
When the Harper clan returned from Disney World they were handed the keys to their villa along with enough cash to pay the taxes for 25 years. If you imagine that the Harpers proceeded to live happily ever after, you've been watching too much Sponge Bob.
Before the TV trucks were out of the driveway, the grateful Harpers were hot-footing it to the bank using the house to leverage a $455,000 loan to finance a construction business. Naturally, the venture folded and the house is now in foreclosure. I love this country!
These are the very sort of people that the Congress proposes to bail out of their mortgages. The same folks who shake their heads at welfare mothers and opine on how Americans don't take responsibility for their actions. They profess to be conservatives, demanding lower taxes and government off their backs; except, of course, when the government program will benefit them.
Recent polls reflect that 80% of Americans feel that the country is headed in the wrong direction. Blaming a spongehead like George W. Bush is too easy. "The fault, dear Brutus, lies not in our stars but in ourselves."
Monday, July 28, 2008
...or is Swift boating the only tactic Republicans have?
So we finally get to it. "Straight talk John McCain" is driving his bus straight for the gutter. McCain is showing the American people that high-road politics only works when it's working. The first time that your poll numbers begin to slip, the gloves come off and we move to character assassination. Forget about the issues that McCain swore would be the core of his campaign. Forget about policies and programs. Let's go right for the groin kick.
We expected better from McCain. After the dirty, disgraceful campaign that the Bushmen threw at McCain in 2000 in South Carolina you would have thought that he might have declined to follow suit. We should have known better. With a model like Karl Rove as Yoda (looks and all) the temptation to rabbit punch was just too great. With an innuendo worthy of Fox News, the McCain camp has shown how it really plans to capture the White House.
A new McCain TV ad states that Obama skipped a visit with wounded troops because the Pentagon wouldn't let him bring in the cameras. This is on top of the crack that Obama would gladly lose a war to win an election. Welcome to "McCain Unmasked".
One can hardly blame a politican as weak and oblivious as McCain from trying virtually any tactic to get someone, anyone, to listen to him. His stump speeches are a blessing for insomniacs. His smile makes him look like Clutch Cargo. His voting record is so fractured that one wonders if he believes in anything. (That includes support for the troops. He opposed the latest GI Bill.) He has supported every piece-of-crap legislation that GWB sponsored and yet he can barely bring himself to speak his name. He has straddled so many issues that his campaign is giving wide-stance lessons to Larry Craig. (ba-dum-bum!)
The primary trait that McCain shares with George the Lessor is that neither one of them can get anyone in the press to cover them. Not just because the media is afflicted with Obama-mania. The reason that NBC, ABC, CBS, and everyone else with a microphone is following Obama is because he's news. He's interesting. Covering Bush and McCain is like committing television suicide. It's like C-SPAN without the pithy dialogue. Who wants to watch some geezer in a Navy baseball hat give a boring speech? I'd rather watch Abraham Simpson (Homer's father) sleep in front of a TV.
Do not expect the Obama people to respond in kind. They didn't do it with Hillary and it's doubtful they will do it with McCain. You won't see a TV ad about McCain's misspent youth (he spent several years attempting to set the indoor drinking record) or his overlapping marriages. You won't hear about his involvement with Charles Keating (McCain accepted more money from Keating than any of the others.) The Obama campaign will continue to paint John McCain as a war hero (I guess getting shot down and captured makes you a hero simply out of touch with the 21st century). Actually, McCain's ignorance of technology puts him out of touch with the latter half of the 20th century also.
When the campaign began to take shape in the late spring, it had all the earmarks of a classy contest with the Marquess of Queensbury rules to be observed at all times. Alas, it was not to be! Although McCain is only trailing by a few points he has already begun eye-gouging and biting. The sad part is that, even with the character assassination and nasty rhetoric, McCain is still the single most boring hack since Cal Coolidge. Maybe John should try a headdress?
We expected better from McCain. After the dirty, disgraceful campaign that the Bushmen threw at McCain in 2000 in South Carolina you would have thought that he might have declined to follow suit. We should have known better. With a model like Karl Rove as Yoda (looks and all) the temptation to rabbit punch was just too great. With an innuendo worthy of Fox News, the McCain camp has shown how it really plans to capture the White House.
A new McCain TV ad states that Obama skipped a visit with wounded troops because the Pentagon wouldn't let him bring in the cameras. This is on top of the crack that Obama would gladly lose a war to win an election. Welcome to "McCain Unmasked".
One can hardly blame a politican as weak and oblivious as McCain from trying virtually any tactic to get someone, anyone, to listen to him. His stump speeches are a blessing for insomniacs. His smile makes him look like Clutch Cargo. His voting record is so fractured that one wonders if he believes in anything. (That includes support for the troops. He opposed the latest GI Bill.) He has supported every piece-of-crap legislation that GWB sponsored and yet he can barely bring himself to speak his name. He has straddled so many issues that his campaign is giving wide-stance lessons to Larry Craig. (ba-dum-bum!)
The primary trait that McCain shares with George the Lessor is that neither one of them can get anyone in the press to cover them. Not just because the media is afflicted with Obama-mania. The reason that NBC, ABC, CBS, and everyone else with a microphone is following Obama is because he's news. He's interesting. Covering Bush and McCain is like committing television suicide. It's like C-SPAN without the pithy dialogue. Who wants to watch some geezer in a Navy baseball hat give a boring speech? I'd rather watch Abraham Simpson (Homer's father) sleep in front of a TV.
Do not expect the Obama people to respond in kind. They didn't do it with Hillary and it's doubtful they will do it with McCain. You won't see a TV ad about McCain's misspent youth (he spent several years attempting to set the indoor drinking record) or his overlapping marriages. You won't hear about his involvement with Charles Keating (McCain accepted more money from Keating than any of the others.) The Obama campaign will continue to paint John McCain as a war hero (I guess getting shot down and captured makes you a hero simply out of touch with the 21st century). Actually, McCain's ignorance of technology puts him out of touch with the latter half of the 20th century also.
When the campaign began to take shape in the late spring, it had all the earmarks of a classy contest with the Marquess of Queensbury rules to be observed at all times. Alas, it was not to be! Although McCain is only trailing by a few points he has already begun eye-gouging and biting. The sad part is that, even with the character assassination and nasty rhetoric, McCain is still the single most boring hack since Cal Coolidge. Maybe John should try a headdress?
Monday, July 21, 2008
...or do we all just want to take a nap and wake up on Jan 21st?
Item
In a move that should surprise no one, the Environmental Protection Agency has devalued human life. The statistical value placed on a generic human life by the EPA and several other agencies, is used to determined whether a particular program can be cost-justified. The old figure was $8.04 million for each John or Jane Doe. The Bush EPA, in a move clearly designed to halt the rising cost of everything, has lowered your worth to $7.22 million. Frankly, I'm gratified it's still that high.
Considering the cavalier way in which this administration has: wasted human resources (4,000 dead in Iraq), slept through the suffering of Katrina (Is anyone still living in those trailers?), squandered natural resources(drilling is the answer to everything), ignored the warnings on climate change (no, it shouldn't be voluntary!) we already have a pretty clear picture of Little George's view on the value of humans.
This then is the ultimate symbolic gesture of what your government thinks of you. Your needs have been ignored, your safely neglected, your concerns discounted and now, your value reduced. The patterns of this administration could hardly have led anywhere else.
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Item
The number of Mexican-born immigrants who have become U.S. citizens grew from 84,000 in 2006 to 122,000 in '07. Apparently, these people have determined that the only way to get rid of the Bush crowd is to become citizens and throw them out. You know your administration is a failure when even the immigrants want you replaced.
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Item
Anyone who has the slightest interest in seeing Barak Obama win the White House in November should stop interviewing Jesse Jackson, now. The man has "Bill Clinton-itis". Every time he speaks, he distracts the Obama campaign who must immediately explain "What the Rev. Jackson meant was..."
Jesse, if you want to help elect the first black American to become the leader of the free world, become a mime. Resist the temptation to attach your name to this campaign. I promise that if Obama is elected, he will make you ambassador to Jamaica, or the Vatican, or someplace.
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Item
Who needs Amy Winehouse? Rolling Stones guitarist Ron Wood, 61, has reportedly abandoned his wife of 23 years and barricaded himself in his Irish home with an 18 year old Russian cocktail waitress. Any additional facts would be superfluous. Long live rock n' roll!
By the way, has anyone out there over 40 ever heard Amy Winehouse actually sing anything? (members of various correctional facilities excepted.)
____________________________________________________________________________________
In a move that should surprise no one, the Environmental Protection Agency has devalued human life. The statistical value placed on a generic human life by the EPA and several other agencies, is used to determined whether a particular program can be cost-justified. The old figure was $8.04 million for each John or Jane Doe. The Bush EPA, in a move clearly designed to halt the rising cost of everything, has lowered your worth to $7.22 million. Frankly, I'm gratified it's still that high.
Considering the cavalier way in which this administration has: wasted human resources (4,000 dead in Iraq), slept through the suffering of Katrina (Is anyone still living in those trailers?), squandered natural resources(drilling is the answer to everything), ignored the warnings on climate change (no, it shouldn't be voluntary!) we already have a pretty clear picture of Little George's view on the value of humans.
This then is the ultimate symbolic gesture of what your government thinks of you. Your needs have been ignored, your safely neglected, your concerns discounted and now, your value reduced. The patterns of this administration could hardly have led anywhere else.
____________________________________________________________________________________
Item
The number of Mexican-born immigrants who have become U.S. citizens grew from 84,000 in 2006 to 122,000 in '07. Apparently, these people have determined that the only way to get rid of the Bush crowd is to become citizens and throw them out. You know your administration is a failure when even the immigrants want you replaced.
_____________________________________________________________________________________
Item
Anyone who has the slightest interest in seeing Barak Obama win the White House in November should stop interviewing Jesse Jackson, now. The man has "Bill Clinton-itis". Every time he speaks, he distracts the Obama campaign who must immediately explain "What the Rev. Jackson meant was..."
Jesse, if you want to help elect the first black American to become the leader of the free world, become a mime. Resist the temptation to attach your name to this campaign. I promise that if Obama is elected, he will make you ambassador to Jamaica, or the Vatican, or someplace.
_____________________________________________________________________________________
Item
Who needs Amy Winehouse? Rolling Stones guitarist Ron Wood, 61, has reportedly abandoned his wife of 23 years and barricaded himself in his Irish home with an 18 year old Russian cocktail waitress. Any additional facts would be superfluous. Long live rock n' roll!
By the way, has anyone out there over 40 ever heard Amy Winehouse actually sing anything? (members of various correctional facilities excepted.)
____________________________________________________________________________________
Item
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Wednesday, June 25, 2008
...was Peggy Lee refering to reality TV when she sang, "Is that all there is"?
I really hate reality TV. It would be a wonderful thing if "Big Brother", "The Bachelor", "The Bachelorette", "Extreme Makeover", "Hell's Kitchen", "America's Next Top Model" and all the rest of this dreck donated their air time to National Geographic or The Weather Channel or C-SPAN reruns.
It's still only June, so the prospect of an actual scripted show appearing anywhere on the major networks (thank God for TNT) is alarmingly limited. NBC, CBS, ABC and Fox will be content with filling their prime time slots with re-reruns (the same shows that ran endlessly during the writer's strike) and a steady stream of reality. It's enough to make you go get some exercise. Well, maybe not!
The impetus for this particular rant was the bill of fare available last night, Wednesday, June 25th. Your choices include: "Celebrity Circus", "So You Think You Can Dance" (two hours), "Wife Swap", "Supernanny", "Farmer Wants A Wife "and the most egregious of all, "Baby Borrowers". Holy Walmart, Batman! I realize that "Law & Order" and "Criminal Minds" aren't Macbeth but at least they have actors and a plot. The plot of Wife Swap appears to include abusive language, the police and possible restraining orders.
At least the recent spate of revived game shows has the potential to be engaging. Audiences who remember the original "Password" and "Price is Right" will presumably be entertained by the updated versions. Good old "Jeopardy" has yet to crack prime time but I suspect that today's TV viewer would rather watch Howie Mandel attempt to calm a hyperventilating housewife than attempt to answer a question requiring actual knowledge. (I liked Howie better on "St. Elsewhere".)
As difficult as this is to admit, shows like "Nashville Star" and "So You Think You Can Dance" occasionally expose someone with a modicum of talent. Gleeful network execs have discovered that, with a few B-list celebs and one or two gifted amateurs, you can fill an entire hour. Take that, Jerry Bruckheimer! Even the mean-spirited Simon Cowell occasionally stumbles across a decent singer . I just don't want to watch him do it.
Particular derision is reserved for a new show called "Baby Borrowers". Due to the dubious success of "Wife Swap", the masterminds at NBC have presented their viewers with a show involving handing children in various stages of life to five teenage couples. As to who would be crazy enough to volunteer their baby to be exploited in this video lab experiment, ask NBC. The moguls at National Broadcasting must not have noticed the child abuse and exploitation issues which arose at CBS over last year's disaster, "Kid Nation". Anyway, I guess that the fun is derived in watching young couples cope with the problems of parenthood. If "Baby Borrowers" fails as a prime time show, NBC can always re-market the product as a cautionary tale for the use of condoms.
Television is a totally democratic medium. If you don't like something, watch something else. If enough people do that, shows get cancelled. Remember "Clash of the Choirs"? How about "Viva Laughlin"? Neither does anyone else.
Tragically, the reverse is also true. Keep that in mind when you tune in to the last fifteen minutes of "America's Got Talent". You just might be encouraging some network wonk to dream up a show like, "America's Got Taste?" or "America's Shrinking IQ".
It's still only June, so the prospect of an actual scripted show appearing anywhere on the major networks (thank God for TNT) is alarmingly limited. NBC, CBS, ABC and Fox will be content with filling their prime time slots with re-reruns (the same shows that ran endlessly during the writer's strike) and a steady stream of reality. It's enough to make you go get some exercise. Well, maybe not!
The impetus for this particular rant was the bill of fare available last night, Wednesday, June 25th. Your choices include: "Celebrity Circus", "So You Think You Can Dance" (two hours), "Wife Swap", "Supernanny", "Farmer Wants A Wife "and the most egregious of all, "Baby Borrowers". Holy Walmart, Batman! I realize that "Law & Order" and "Criminal Minds" aren't Macbeth but at least they have actors and a plot. The plot of Wife Swap appears to include abusive language, the police and possible restraining orders.
At least the recent spate of revived game shows has the potential to be engaging. Audiences who remember the original "Password" and "Price is Right" will presumably be entertained by the updated versions. Good old "Jeopardy" has yet to crack prime time but I suspect that today's TV viewer would rather watch Howie Mandel attempt to calm a hyperventilating housewife than attempt to answer a question requiring actual knowledge. (I liked Howie better on "St. Elsewhere".)
As difficult as this is to admit, shows like "Nashville Star" and "So You Think You Can Dance" occasionally expose someone with a modicum of talent. Gleeful network execs have discovered that, with a few B-list celebs and one or two gifted amateurs, you can fill an entire hour. Take that, Jerry Bruckheimer! Even the mean-spirited Simon Cowell occasionally stumbles across a decent singer . I just don't want to watch him do it.
Particular derision is reserved for a new show called "Baby Borrowers". Due to the dubious success of "Wife Swap", the masterminds at NBC have presented their viewers with a show involving handing children in various stages of life to five teenage couples. As to who would be crazy enough to volunteer their baby to be exploited in this video lab experiment, ask NBC. The moguls at National Broadcasting must not have noticed the child abuse and exploitation issues which arose at CBS over last year's disaster, "Kid Nation". Anyway, I guess that the fun is derived in watching young couples cope with the problems of parenthood. If "Baby Borrowers" fails as a prime time show, NBC can always re-market the product as a cautionary tale for the use of condoms.
Television is a totally democratic medium. If you don't like something, watch something else. If enough people do that, shows get cancelled. Remember "Clash of the Choirs"? How about "Viva Laughlin"? Neither does anyone else.
Tragically, the reverse is also true. Keep that in mind when you tune in to the last fifteen minutes of "America's Got Talent". You just might be encouraging some network wonk to dream up a show like, "America's Got Taste?" or "America's Shrinking IQ".
Saturday, June 21, 2008
...or am I so short that the fast ones go right over my head?
Item
In the world of chutzpa there are amateurs and professionals. Larry Craig, the wide-stance senator from Idaho, is a amateur. His decision to keep his seat (that would be his Senate seat, not the one in the Minneapolis men's room) was nervy but hardly noteworthy.
Congressman William Jefferson of Louisiana, on the other hand, is pure professional. You may remember the honorable representative from New Orleans as the legislator who owned a $70,000 Fridge, all in cash. Congressman Jefferson isn't about to let a trifling item like a sixteen count federal corruption indictment interrupt his glittering career as a legislator. Dollar Bill has announced that he will be running for his tenth term as the representative of Louisiana's second district. Considering the likes of Huey Long, David Dukes, David Vetter and Edwin "Fast Eddie" Edwards, it's nice to see that tradition still matters even if it's a tradition of corruption. And you thought all the backed-up sewage in New Orleans had been cleared.
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Item
Ashcroft redux.
A Romanian village re-elected Mayor Neculai Ivascu to a new term in spite of the fact that he died shortly before the election. Villagers expressed a reluctance to change. It is now possible to speculate that Kansas is secretly populated with Romanians.
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Item
Our friends at the Vatican have decided to forbid any filming for the prequel to the Di Vinci Code on any Church property in Rome. Apparently the mere mention of Dan Brown is enough to send the Holy See running for their rosary beads. The RCC clearly doesn't appreciate Brown's rather novel interpretation of Church doctrine. I'll bet those spoil-sports would have blocked "The Bells of Saint Mary" and don't even get them started about "Angels in the Outfield".
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Item
And on the subject of religion, Hindus are concerned that Mike Meyers' new movie "The Love Guru" demeans their culture. They must hate Apu on the Simpsons. Fear not, gentle people. This film is so bad even the detainees at Guantanamo won't watch it and they like to laugh at Hindus.
Thankfully, unlike Muslims, Hindus do not feel the need to execute everyone associated with the production of films that offend them. There has, however, been a fatwa posted against Mike Meyers by the producers of Pluto Nash who are upset at losing their bragging rights to the title "worst movie ever made".
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Item
The Republican Party is so desperate to find some flaw in the character of Barak Obama they are trying to make an issue of campaign financing. The details of this canard would put Fred Thompson to sleep but then, so does everything else. The McCain people continue to hammer away with phrases like, "broke his promise", "went back on his word" and the dreaded "flip-flop". (Is there any chance we could get a moratorium on flip-flop for Campaign 2008?)
McCain is frosted because Obama is killing him in the money-raising dept. America has already started voting with their checkbooks. Sadly for McCain, usual fat-cat Republican industrialists, having created sow's ear politicians like George W. Bush, are a bit chilled by McCain's cantankerous views. So the McCain people are screaming because Sen. Obama is paying for his campaign without taxpayer money. Good luck gaining any traction with that.
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Item
The Inspector General' s office of the Justice Department has issued a report which confirms what everyone in Washington already knows. During the time that Alberto Gonzales was Attorney General and while Karl Rove and Harriet Meyers were still a Rasputin-like force in the White House, the hiring process at Justice was co-opted by conservative ideologues. There sole charge was to recommend only "vetted" candidates whose political and social beliefs were in lock step with the Bush Administration.
Although Rove has his pudgy fingerprints all over this bit of cynicism, the practitioners were the minions on the steering committee. Singled out for special scorn was one Esther Slater McDonald. As a graduate of Pensacola Christian College and Notre Dame Law (I guess Liberty College was full up) her role was to identify and tag any candidate who showed signs of "wrong thinking" . That included a Stanford grad who had written a law review article on discrimination in the military and a Harvard alum who had worked as a paralegal at Planned Parenthood.
In case you're thinking that this is just a perk of the incumbent party and that "everybody does it", forget that.
Prior to 2002 jobs at Justice for the honors and intern programs were awarded based on merit. The process only became truly perverted during the Bush years, particularly in 2006 under Gonzales. The situation became so polluted that even senior Bush appointees were holding their noses.
George the Lesser has a lot to answer for but, allowing entire departments of government like Interior, Environmental Protection and, Justice to be corrupted by scum like Rove, Meyers, Gail Norton, and Gonzales is neglect bordering on the criminal. Nixon may have been a crook but he was never guilty of this level of incompetence.
In the world of chutzpa there are amateurs and professionals. Larry Craig, the wide-stance senator from Idaho, is a amateur. His decision to keep his seat (that would be his Senate seat, not the one in the Minneapolis men's room) was nervy but hardly noteworthy.
Congressman William Jefferson of Louisiana, on the other hand, is pure professional. You may remember the honorable representative from New Orleans as the legislator who owned a $70,000 Fridge, all in cash. Congressman Jefferson isn't about to let a trifling item like a sixteen count federal corruption indictment interrupt his glittering career as a legislator. Dollar Bill has announced that he will be running for his tenth term as the representative of Louisiana's second district. Considering the likes of Huey Long, David Dukes, David Vetter and Edwin "Fast Eddie" Edwards, it's nice to see that tradition still matters even if it's a tradition of corruption. And you thought all the backed-up sewage in New Orleans had been cleared.
_______________________________________________________________________________________
Item
Ashcroft redux.
A Romanian village re-elected Mayor Neculai Ivascu to a new term in spite of the fact that he died shortly before the election. Villagers expressed a reluctance to change. It is now possible to speculate that Kansas is secretly populated with Romanians.
_____________________________________________________________________________________
Item
Our friends at the Vatican have decided to forbid any filming for the prequel to the Di Vinci Code on any Church property in Rome. Apparently the mere mention of Dan Brown is enough to send the Holy See running for their rosary beads. The RCC clearly doesn't appreciate Brown's rather novel interpretation of Church doctrine. I'll bet those spoil-sports would have blocked "The Bells of Saint Mary" and don't even get them started about "Angels in the Outfield".
_____________________________________________________________________________________
Item
And on the subject of religion, Hindus are concerned that Mike Meyers' new movie "The Love Guru" demeans their culture. They must hate Apu on the Simpsons. Fear not, gentle people. This film is so bad even the detainees at Guantanamo won't watch it and they like to laugh at Hindus.
Thankfully, unlike Muslims, Hindus do not feel the need to execute everyone associated with the production of films that offend them. There has, however, been a fatwa posted against Mike Meyers by the producers of Pluto Nash who are upset at losing their bragging rights to the title "worst movie ever made".
____________________________________________________________________________________
Item
The Republican Party is so desperate to find some flaw in the character of Barak Obama they are trying to make an issue of campaign financing. The details of this canard would put Fred Thompson to sleep but then, so does everything else. The McCain people continue to hammer away with phrases like, "broke his promise", "went back on his word" and the dreaded "flip-flop". (Is there any chance we could get a moratorium on flip-flop for Campaign 2008?)
McCain is frosted because Obama is killing him in the money-raising dept. America has already started voting with their checkbooks. Sadly for McCain, usual fat-cat Republican industrialists, having created sow's ear politicians like George W. Bush, are a bit chilled by McCain's cantankerous views. So the McCain people are screaming because Sen. Obama is paying for his campaign without taxpayer money. Good luck gaining any traction with that.
____________________________________________________________________________________
Item
The Inspector General' s office of the Justice Department has issued a report which confirms what everyone in Washington already knows. During the time that Alberto Gonzales was Attorney General and while Karl Rove and Harriet Meyers were still a Rasputin-like force in the White House, the hiring process at Justice was co-opted by conservative ideologues. There sole charge was to recommend only "vetted" candidates whose political and social beliefs were in lock step with the Bush Administration.
Although Rove has his pudgy fingerprints all over this bit of cynicism, the practitioners were the minions on the steering committee. Singled out for special scorn was one Esther Slater McDonald. As a graduate of Pensacola Christian College and Notre Dame Law (I guess Liberty College was full up) her role was to identify and tag any candidate who showed signs of "wrong thinking" . That included a Stanford grad who had written a law review article on discrimination in the military and a Harvard alum who had worked as a paralegal at Planned Parenthood.
In case you're thinking that this is just a perk of the incumbent party and that "everybody does it", forget that.
Prior to 2002 jobs at Justice for the honors and intern programs were awarded based on merit. The process only became truly perverted during the Bush years, particularly in 2006 under Gonzales. The situation became so polluted that even senior Bush appointees were holding their noses.
George the Lesser has a lot to answer for but, allowing entire departments of government like Interior, Environmental Protection and, Justice to be corrupted by scum like Rove, Meyers, Gail Norton, and Gonzales is neglect bordering on the criminal. Nixon may have been a crook but he was never guilty of this level of incompetence.
...or did I hear the Supremes singing "Stop in the Name of Love"?
Ah, The Supremes! You gotta love 'em. They may be a little long in the tooth but the harmonies are still there.
Last week we heard the quintet of Ruth, Anthony, John Paul, David and Steven deliver the sweetest sound we have heard since the last time the Liberty Bell was struck. I'm speaking, of course, of the Supreme Court decision in Boumediene vs. Bush which hopefully, results in the closing of the Guantanamo Gulag forever.
By establishing that a detainee can challenge in federal court the government's right to incarcerate him, the Supreme Court has forced the Bush administration to offer some proof that the people in jail in Cuba are guilty of something.
Naturally, the four horsemen of the Apocalypse, Scalia, Thomas (aka "Lil Antonin"), Roberts and Alito voted for the administration. Why not? Having put George the Lesser in power, they may as well back his play.
The fascinating aspect of the dissent was that there was virtually no mention of the law. Scalia bloviated about the body count that will result if the 275 or so prisoners in Gitmo are turned loose by the federal court system. At no time did we hear his famous rant about original intent. That's probably because the right to habeas corpus was critical to the Founding Fathers. A person's right to argue the reasons for his imprisonment is black letter law. Since when is Scalia a proponent of situational interpretation? I can understand Judge Antonin's concern. Having locked these people up and tortured them for six years, I'm not sure I want them loose either. They're probably a little steamed having missed six Super Bowls and the entire run of Dancing With the Stars.
Scalia's dissent presupposes several troubling issues. Is the most powerful country in the world really afraid of 275 guys? They must be pretty scary. Also, is the government's case against these folks so weak that federal judges around the country would laugh the prosecutors out of court? If there is no evidence to support even one conviction, why are they in jail?
The Administration's two-step regarding the prisoners at Guantanamo would take first prize at any Motown dance contest. They are enemy combatants but not entitled to the protection of the Geneva Conventions because they don't wear uniforms nor belong to an organized army. Holding them in an offshore prison sidestepped the need to address habeas corpus. That was, until the Court stepped in.
The decision handed down last week is the third smack in the back of the head that the Court has inflicted on the Bush cabal since we started scooping up the world's citizens and renditioning them to hostile hostels around the world. The Court has repeatedly taken Lil George to the woodshed because he is apparently too dense to grasp the notion that 9-11 was not a blank check to torture, incarcerate and eliminate anyone with a dark complexion and a Middle Eastern accent.
We all know why Americans are oblivious to the treatment of Guantanamo's prisoners. If they were Irishmen or Frenchmen, if their skin was lighter or, if they were Christians, none of this would be happening. We should be ashamed. National Security is a perfectly good reason to deny a plane ticket to a shady character. Flying is not a constitutional right. We do not however, have the right to imprison Muslims who attend an anti -American mosque in Munich or run a printing press in Yemen that produces pro-Iranian pamphlets.
George Bush and John McCain are fond of regurgitating the fallacy that "if we withdraw, the terrorists win". Wake up, boys! If we continue to shred the Constitution for the sake of a vague notion of National Security, the terrorists have already won. If we persist in riding roughshod over the world because we think that 3,000 dead Americans in lower Manhattan gives us the right, the terrorists have already won. If America forgets that our strength comes from compassion and tolerance not from the point of a lance, the terrorists have already won. If four hijacked airplanes is all it takes to drive us into the arms of Dick Cheney and Karl Rove, we may already be lost.
The upcoming election will be a referendum on American courage. Are we brave enough to defend the Constitution when it most needs defending or will we hide behind misguided leaders who "know what's best". Wake me on Nov 5th.
Last week we heard the quintet of Ruth, Anthony, John Paul, David and Steven deliver the sweetest sound we have heard since the last time the Liberty Bell was struck. I'm speaking, of course, of the Supreme Court decision in Boumediene vs. Bush which hopefully, results in the closing of the Guantanamo Gulag forever.
By establishing that a detainee can challenge in federal court the government's right to incarcerate him, the Supreme Court has forced the Bush administration to offer some proof that the people in jail in Cuba are guilty of something.
Naturally, the four horsemen of the Apocalypse, Scalia, Thomas (aka "Lil Antonin"), Roberts and Alito voted for the administration. Why not? Having put George the Lesser in power, they may as well back his play.
The fascinating aspect of the dissent was that there was virtually no mention of the law. Scalia bloviated about the body count that will result if the 275 or so prisoners in Gitmo are turned loose by the federal court system. At no time did we hear his famous rant about original intent. That's probably because the right to habeas corpus was critical to the Founding Fathers. A person's right to argue the reasons for his imprisonment is black letter law. Since when is Scalia a proponent of situational interpretation? I can understand Judge Antonin's concern. Having locked these people up and tortured them for six years, I'm not sure I want them loose either. They're probably a little steamed having missed six Super Bowls and the entire run of Dancing With the Stars.
Scalia's dissent presupposes several troubling issues. Is the most powerful country in the world really afraid of 275 guys? They must be pretty scary. Also, is the government's case against these folks so weak that federal judges around the country would laugh the prosecutors out of court? If there is no evidence to support even one conviction, why are they in jail?
The Administration's two-step regarding the prisoners at Guantanamo would take first prize at any Motown dance contest. They are enemy combatants but not entitled to the protection of the Geneva Conventions because they don't wear uniforms nor belong to an organized army. Holding them in an offshore prison sidestepped the need to address habeas corpus. That was, until the Court stepped in.
The decision handed down last week is the third smack in the back of the head that the Court has inflicted on the Bush cabal since we started scooping up the world's citizens and renditioning them to hostile hostels around the world. The Court has repeatedly taken Lil George to the woodshed because he is apparently too dense to grasp the notion that 9-11 was not a blank check to torture, incarcerate and eliminate anyone with a dark complexion and a Middle Eastern accent.
We all know why Americans are oblivious to the treatment of Guantanamo's prisoners. If they were Irishmen or Frenchmen, if their skin was lighter or, if they were Christians, none of this would be happening. We should be ashamed. National Security is a perfectly good reason to deny a plane ticket to a shady character. Flying is not a constitutional right. We do not however, have the right to imprison Muslims who attend an anti -American mosque in Munich or run a printing press in Yemen that produces pro-Iranian pamphlets.
George Bush and John McCain are fond of regurgitating the fallacy that "if we withdraw, the terrorists win". Wake up, boys! If we continue to shred the Constitution for the sake of a vague notion of National Security, the terrorists have already won. If we persist in riding roughshod over the world because we think that 3,000 dead Americans in lower Manhattan gives us the right, the terrorists have already won. If America forgets that our strength comes from compassion and tolerance not from the point of a lance, the terrorists have already won. If four hijacked airplanes is all it takes to drive us into the arms of Dick Cheney and Karl Rove, we may already be lost.
The upcoming election will be a referendum on American courage. Are we brave enough to defend the Constitution when it most needs defending or will we hide behind misguided leaders who "know what's best". Wake me on Nov 5th.
Wednesday, June 04, 2008
... or is experience only important when you have it?
Barak Obama is the Democratic nominee for President of the United States. This fact is not in dispute. The task of the Obama campaign will be to convince the country to take a chance on a man whose resume is, admittedly, somewhat thin.
Much will be written in the coming months about the value of "experience". Since the election of Franklin Roosevelt, (there are no written records before 1932) America has elected four Senators, five governors, one VP and one general. Jerry Ford was a House Member but not elected. Nixon and Truman were Senators but also VP's.
No discernible pattern has emerged thus far. Among the governors, we appear to be three and two. Roosevelt, Clinton and Reagan get good grades; Carter and GW Bush, not so much. Our Senatorial Presidents are a bit tougher to evaluate. Kennedy died too early and Johnson cannot get past Vietnam. Truman gets the highest marks and Nixon, if you include him, the lowest. (Ike did pretty well but, unless General Petraeus plans a last minute bid, Eisenhower's success is irrelevant to this discord.) George H.W. Bush (hereafter referred to as B-41) is looking better all the time.
What all this proves is...well...not much. B-41 had a dump truck full of experience at every level of government and it didn't get him a second term. It's unfair to reduce four years as president to "no new taxes". Jack Kennedy had almost no experience and yet he appears to have acquitted himself admirably considering the challenges of his time.
Is a career in the Senate of more value to a president than a term or two as the governor of, say, California? Has John McCain accumulated a vast storehouse of valuable knowledge in Washington or just a lot of lobbyist baggage? Is Barak Obama better for having served only a short time in the Senate before deal-making and compromising corrupted his soul? Who can say?
What is clear is that Obama is a man perfect for his time. After eight years of the most cynical, oppressive, mean-spirited, secretive, underhanded (I'm almost done) incompetent, joyless, deceitful government we have seen since Nixon, we are ready for something, anything, else. Ronald Reagan succeeded by reminding America that, in spite of American hostages in Iran and the gas crisis, this was still a great country. When you listen to Obama you get the same sense of hope and promise.
We have spent the last 6 1/2 years being afraid. The current administration has used and amplified that fear to justify a string of questionable and, in some cases, illegal acts. All that is required to sidestep the Constitution is to begin your speech with the hobgoblins of al qaeda, terrorists and evildoers (possibly the stupidest word ever uttered by a president).
America needs something else. Being afraid all the time is tiring; just ask the Israelis. We already know that we are a great country. We don't need lapel pins to remind us. However, what makes us great is us; not our army, not our arrogance, not even our history. American greatness is writ small, in the thousands and thousands of acts of charity and good fellowship that happen every day. Our capacity to love, tolerate and understand will endure long after the Iraq War ends and the towers are rebuilt.
Barak Obama looks like something else: a way forward. The rest doesn't matter. Eisenhower knew nothing about domestic issues. He learned. George W. Bush bought a map so he could see all those other countries out there.
Don't kid yourself. No one is ready to be President on day one; although B-41 was pretty close. Obama will learn like every president learns. It's how well and how fast that will determine the success or failure of his time in office.
Much will be written in the coming months about the value of "experience". Since the election of Franklin Roosevelt, (there are no written records before 1932) America has elected four Senators, five governors, one VP and one general. Jerry Ford was a House Member but not elected. Nixon and Truman were Senators but also VP's.
No discernible pattern has emerged thus far. Among the governors, we appear to be three and two. Roosevelt, Clinton and Reagan get good grades; Carter and GW Bush, not so much. Our Senatorial Presidents are a bit tougher to evaluate. Kennedy died too early and Johnson cannot get past Vietnam. Truman gets the highest marks and Nixon, if you include him, the lowest. (Ike did pretty well but, unless General Petraeus plans a last minute bid, Eisenhower's success is irrelevant to this discord.) George H.W. Bush (hereafter referred to as B-41) is looking better all the time.
What all this proves is...well...not much. B-41 had a dump truck full of experience at every level of government and it didn't get him a second term. It's unfair to reduce four years as president to "no new taxes". Jack Kennedy had almost no experience and yet he appears to have acquitted himself admirably considering the challenges of his time.
Is a career in the Senate of more value to a president than a term or two as the governor of, say, California? Has John McCain accumulated a vast storehouse of valuable knowledge in Washington or just a lot of lobbyist baggage? Is Barak Obama better for having served only a short time in the Senate before deal-making and compromising corrupted his soul? Who can say?
What is clear is that Obama is a man perfect for his time. After eight years of the most cynical, oppressive, mean-spirited, secretive, underhanded (I'm almost done) incompetent, joyless, deceitful government we have seen since Nixon, we are ready for something, anything, else. Ronald Reagan succeeded by reminding America that, in spite of American hostages in Iran and the gas crisis, this was still a great country. When you listen to Obama you get the same sense of hope and promise.
We have spent the last 6 1/2 years being afraid. The current administration has used and amplified that fear to justify a string of questionable and, in some cases, illegal acts. All that is required to sidestep the Constitution is to begin your speech with the hobgoblins of al qaeda, terrorists and evildoers (possibly the stupidest word ever uttered by a president).
America needs something else. Being afraid all the time is tiring; just ask the Israelis. We already know that we are a great country. We don't need lapel pins to remind us. However, what makes us great is us; not our army, not our arrogance, not even our history. American greatness is writ small, in the thousands and thousands of acts of charity and good fellowship that happen every day. Our capacity to love, tolerate and understand will endure long after the Iraq War ends and the towers are rebuilt.
Barak Obama looks like something else: a way forward. The rest doesn't matter. Eisenhower knew nothing about domestic issues. He learned. George W. Bush bought a map so he could see all those other countries out there.
Don't kid yourself. No one is ready to be President on day one; although B-41 was pretty close. Obama will learn like every president learns. It's how well and how fast that will determine the success or failure of his time in office.
Tuesday, June 03, 2008
...or does "supporting the troops" mean "supporting the troops"?
Let me see if I have this correct...the history of the Bush administration with regard to Americans in uniform over the past six years reads as follows:
George W. Bush sent an undermanned force (even John McCain said so) into Iraq without any understanding of what they would encounter on the ground. There was no intelligence estimate as to how the population of the country would respond and no thought given to how to govern a broken society. ("They will treat us as liberators" is not a policy nor a plan).
The soldiers were, and still are, improperly equipped to meet the challenges they face. Troops were scavenging metal plates to arm the floors of their vehicles. Parents were holding raffles to send proper flak vests to sons and daughters. No attempt was made to rush equipment into the field.
Troops living in places like Fort Bragg were subjected to barracks conditions that would cause migrant workers in California to head for the border.
If they were wounded, the medical care provided at such famed institutions as Walter Reed Hospital could only be described as deplorable.
Should they suffer from PTSD (presumably the Patton-esque vice president equates this with malingering) they are sent to a new facility at Ft. Benning. Unfortunately the quarters for these recovering personnel are 200 yards from a firing range. You can't make this stuff up. Exactly who decided that the best environment for shell-shocked troops was a live fire zone?
If by some miracle they manage to survive this "Born on the Forth of July" nightmare they can attend any state university on scholarship. That bit of largess comes courtesy of the U.S. Congress, having recently overridden a Bush veto of the new GI Bill. It seems that President "Vietnam No-show" decided that if service people could go to college after only a three year hitch they might not sign up for more of that first class treatment the Army provides. By the way, John McCain, the uber-sailor, agrees.
By any measure, the Bush administration's tone-deaf incompetence and indifference to the conditions faced by American servicemen and women border on the criminal. Face it, Kansas; this President doesn't give a good god damn about your sons and daughters fighting his war and none of you are holding him accountable. When a Pat Tillman or a Jessica Lynch provides a Kodak moment or an opportunity for a propaganda campaign we all don our flag lapel pins and join in the singing of God Bless America. When the bunting comes down it's the soldiers who are left to sweep up the confetti. But, hell, they volunteered, didn't they?
George W. Bush sent an undermanned force (even John McCain said so) into Iraq without any understanding of what they would encounter on the ground. There was no intelligence estimate as to how the population of the country would respond and no thought given to how to govern a broken society. ("They will treat us as liberators" is not a policy nor a plan).
The soldiers were, and still are, improperly equipped to meet the challenges they face. Troops were scavenging metal plates to arm the floors of their vehicles. Parents were holding raffles to send proper flak vests to sons and daughters. No attempt was made to rush equipment into the field.
Troops living in places like Fort Bragg were subjected to barracks conditions that would cause migrant workers in California to head for the border.
If they were wounded, the medical care provided at such famed institutions as Walter Reed Hospital could only be described as deplorable.
Should they suffer from PTSD (presumably the Patton-esque vice president equates this with malingering) they are sent to a new facility at Ft. Benning. Unfortunately the quarters for these recovering personnel are 200 yards from a firing range. You can't make this stuff up. Exactly who decided that the best environment for shell-shocked troops was a live fire zone?
If by some miracle they manage to survive this "Born on the Forth of July" nightmare they can attend any state university on scholarship. That bit of largess comes courtesy of the U.S. Congress, having recently overridden a Bush veto of the new GI Bill. It seems that President "Vietnam No-show" decided that if service people could go to college after only a three year hitch they might not sign up for more of that first class treatment the Army provides. By the way, John McCain, the uber-sailor, agrees.
By any measure, the Bush administration's tone-deaf incompetence and indifference to the conditions faced by American servicemen and women border on the criminal. Face it, Kansas; this President doesn't give a good god damn about your sons and daughters fighting his war and none of you are holding him accountable. When a Pat Tillman or a Jessica Lynch provides a Kodak moment or an opportunity for a propaganda campaign we all don our flag lapel pins and join in the singing of God Bless America. When the bunting comes down it's the soldiers who are left to sweep up the confetti. But, hell, they volunteered, didn't they?
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
...or has Bill Clinton migrated from pretty good president to merely whiney and annoying?
Dear President Clinton,
Jesus, Bill. Your wife isn't going to be the Democratic nominee for president. Get over it!
Please stop traveling around America k'vetshing that the election was unfair. Compared to what, Bush - Gore? You can tell your supporters that Hillary was treated differently because she's a woman but, if she weren't a woman (and your wife) she would still be a partner at the Rose law Firm. Every time you opens your mouth it's embarrassing and a little sad.
And while we're at it, she isn't going to be the nominee for vice president either. Can you imagine the newly minted President Obama trying to deal with you chewing on his ear? "When I was President, we did it this way". Jeez! Obama can't even make you a judge. You've been disbarred. And exactly how long would it be before you got caught waving Little Willie at some intern or a member of a White House tour group?
Sorry Hil, your husband makes Jimmy Carter's family look like the Coolidges.
____________________________________________________________________________________
Item
New question for the women of the Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints:
Dearie, who is doing your hair, Zohan?
It's bad enough that you have to appear in public in those "Seven Brides for Seven Brothers" costumes but at least ditch the "gold rush" do. Retro is fine but do you really have to return to a time before mousse?
____________________________________________________________________________________
Item
If you check the dictionary under "insidious" there will almost certainly be a photo of your 43rd President. The current administration has politicized government the way commercialism has invaded NASCAR.
The latest bit of cynical manipulation involves the White House censoring and distorting the scientific information emanating from the climate change division at NASA. It seems that administration appointees in the public affairs office of NASA felt the need to clean up the "inaccuracy and factual insufficiency" produced by one of America's best scientific sources on climate change. The hubris required to encourage a PR flak to rewrite scientific reports to conform to White House dogma boggles the mind. George W. Bush wouldn't understand global warming if his cowboy hat spontaneously combusted. The President should stick to subjects that he understands. As soon as we think of one we'll call him.
Jesus, Bill. Your wife isn't going to be the Democratic nominee for president. Get over it!
Please stop traveling around America k'vetshing that the election was unfair. Compared to what, Bush - Gore? You can tell your supporters that Hillary was treated differently because she's a woman but, if she weren't a woman (and your wife) she would still be a partner at the Rose law Firm. Every time you opens your mouth it's embarrassing and a little sad.
And while we're at it, she isn't going to be the nominee for vice president either. Can you imagine the newly minted President Obama trying to deal with you chewing on his ear? "When I was President, we did it this way". Jeez! Obama can't even make you a judge. You've been disbarred. And exactly how long would it be before you got caught waving Little Willie at some intern or a member of a White House tour group?
Sorry Hil, your husband makes Jimmy Carter's family look like the Coolidges.
____________________________________________________________________________________
Item
New question for the women of the Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints:
Dearie, who is doing your hair, Zohan?
It's bad enough that you have to appear in public in those "Seven Brides for Seven Brothers" costumes but at least ditch the "gold rush" do. Retro is fine but do you really have to return to a time before mousse?
____________________________________________________________________________________
Item
If you check the dictionary under "insidious" there will almost certainly be a photo of your 43rd President. The current administration has politicized government the way commercialism has invaded NASCAR.
The latest bit of cynical manipulation involves the White House censoring and distorting the scientific information emanating from the climate change division at NASA. It seems that administration appointees in the public affairs office of NASA felt the need to clean up the "inaccuracy and factual insufficiency" produced by one of America's best scientific sources on climate change. The hubris required to encourage a PR flak to rewrite scientific reports to conform to White House dogma boggles the mind. George W. Bush wouldn't understand global warming if his cowboy hat spontaneously combusted. The President should stick to subjects that he understands. As soon as we think of one we'll call him.
Thursday, May 22, 2008
...or is John McCain carrying more baggage than the make-up artist with Cher's road show?
Two words: "Keating Five".
Ah! How quickly we forget!
The short version (for those of us with ADD) is that in 1989 there was a shifty guy named Charles Keating. He ran Lincoln Saving and Loan Corp. in California which failed after making some questionable loans in commercial real estate. When the Feds, in the person of Federal Home Loan Bank Board chief Edwin Gray, began investigating, a committee of five Senators told him to back off. Those senators: Alan Cranston (D-CA), Dennis DeConcini (D-AZ), John Glenn (D-OH), Donald Riegle (D-MI) and "The Old Straight Shooter" John McCain (R-AZ). As it turns out, McCain had received $115,000 in campaign contributions from Keating and his family. That was the most of any of the five senators. Keating ultimately went to jail and Cranston was censured. McCain and Glenn swore that they only participated because he heard cake was being served.
True, Senator McCain was only "criticized for questionable conduct" by the Senate in 1991 but it wouldn't take much of a "swiftboating" to make this a summer-long story. How about if Charles Keating comes forward to describe how McCain promised to make Chairman Gray, "an offer he can't refuse".
Presumably Senator McCain has learned several valuable lessons:
Never go to a meeting where you're the only Republican.
Always get the money in cash.
Never believe anyone about cake.
Tragically, Charles Keating is not the only skeleton in John McCain's closet. There are also the circumstances surrounding his romance with his current wife; the lovely and wealthy Cindy McCain. Young John met the Phoenix school teacher in 1979 and worked diligently on their relationship. Unfortunately, he arrived for work a little early. He began dating her in '79 but didn't get divorced from the first Ms. McCain until 1980. This isn't much of a scandal (Rudy Giuliani was the king of overlapping love affairs) but it will nonetheless give the bloggers something to write about. Ms. McCain has also refused, for all time, to release her tax records. She has, under extreme pressure, recently published a summery of her finances. Why all the secrecy, Cindy?
McCain will also have to deal with his party-hearty reputation from his days in the military. Unlike George W. Bush, McCain's family doesn't have the resources to bury the transgressions of their offspring. You can expect to see many interviews throughout the campaign with former drinking buddies reminiscing about the good old days in Pensacola.
Yes my friends, the "straight-talk express" will have some 'splainin' to do come Sept. and beyond. By the time it's all over Senator McCain may wish that his biggest problem was a crazy pastor from the church he attended in Phoenix.
Ah! How quickly we forget!
The short version (for those of us with ADD) is that in 1989 there was a shifty guy named Charles Keating. He ran Lincoln Saving and Loan Corp. in California which failed after making some questionable loans in commercial real estate. When the Feds, in the person of Federal Home Loan Bank Board chief Edwin Gray, began investigating, a committee of five Senators told him to back off. Those senators: Alan Cranston (D-CA), Dennis DeConcini (D-AZ), John Glenn (D-OH), Donald Riegle (D-MI) and "The Old Straight Shooter" John McCain (R-AZ). As it turns out, McCain had received $115,000 in campaign contributions from Keating and his family. That was the most of any of the five senators. Keating ultimately went to jail and Cranston was censured. McCain and Glenn swore that they only participated because he heard cake was being served.
True, Senator McCain was only "criticized for questionable conduct" by the Senate in 1991 but it wouldn't take much of a "swiftboating" to make this a summer-long story. How about if Charles Keating comes forward to describe how McCain promised to make Chairman Gray, "an offer he can't refuse".
Presumably Senator McCain has learned several valuable lessons:
Never go to a meeting where you're the only Republican.
Always get the money in cash.
Never believe anyone about cake.
Tragically, Charles Keating is not the only skeleton in John McCain's closet. There are also the circumstances surrounding his romance with his current wife; the lovely and wealthy Cindy McCain. Young John met the Phoenix school teacher in 1979 and worked diligently on their relationship. Unfortunately, he arrived for work a little early. He began dating her in '79 but didn't get divorced from the first Ms. McCain until 1980. This isn't much of a scandal (Rudy Giuliani was the king of overlapping love affairs) but it will nonetheless give the bloggers something to write about. Ms. McCain has also refused, for all time, to release her tax records. She has, under extreme pressure, recently published a summery of her finances. Why all the secrecy, Cindy?
McCain will also have to deal with his party-hearty reputation from his days in the military. Unlike George W. Bush, McCain's family doesn't have the resources to bury the transgressions of their offspring. You can expect to see many interviews throughout the campaign with former drinking buddies reminiscing about the good old days in Pensacola.
Yes my friends, the "straight-talk express" will have some 'splainin' to do come Sept. and beyond. By the time it's all over Senator McCain may wish that his biggest problem was a crazy pastor from the church he attended in Phoenix.
Sunday, May 18, 2008
...or is watching the American President on his knees a sight no one should see?
Have the children look away. No one under the age of eighteen should be allowed to watch. The White House press corp should switch off their cameras and recorders from a sense of sheer decency. The Leader of the Free World, America's Fearless Leader, the man who stood amid the rubble of the towers and threatened anyone who would attack America, Old Mister "Bring it on" has been reduced to a beggar on the world stage. If he weren't such a jerk I could almost feel sorry for him. Naaaaaaaaah!
George W. Bush packed up his prayer rug last week and headed for Saudi Arabia. He went, ten-gallon hat-in-hand, to implore the king of the sand dunes to pretty please increase the flow of oil so that Americans wouldn't have to pay $4.00 a gallon to fill their SUV's. What a disgrace! The country that survived the attack on Pearl Harbor, won the Cold War and, by force of will, put a man on the moon in ten years, is reduced to grovelling to a dress-wearing goat herder for a gallon of regular.
The President makes a great target here (and everywhere else!) but he isn't the only villain in the piece. Americans have spent the last twenty-nine years (the time since the Carter "energy crisis") using the size of their car as the outward manifestation of their prosperity. They should have been bending over right next to George. Detroit has been feeding us a steady diet of Explorers, Escalades, Yukons, and, of course, Hummers and we couldn't get enough. The next time you see a V-8 Chevy Blazer with an "I love America" bumper sticker, punch out his tail lights.
We have the best scientists (imported from Asia & India) and the best engineers (having immigrated from India and Germany). Do you think, maybe, we could have figured out a way to use a little less oil? We still can and we still should. China and India are burning all the petrol they can get and their thirst is increasing every day. If you think that Iraq is a war for oil, wait 'til China, with a million men under arms, joins the fight.
The next time you see an article in the paper about a robbery at a gas station don't be surprised if the sub head reads, "The thief left the cash and made off with a tank full of premium". America: the size of your car will not compensate for inadequate equipment under the hood. Our National pride should be worth more than the size of your Land Cruiser...or your trouser-monkey.
George W. Bush packed up his prayer rug last week and headed for Saudi Arabia. He went, ten-gallon hat-in-hand, to implore the king of the sand dunes to pretty please increase the flow of oil so that Americans wouldn't have to pay $4.00 a gallon to fill their SUV's. What a disgrace! The country that survived the attack on Pearl Harbor, won the Cold War and, by force of will, put a man on the moon in ten years, is reduced to grovelling to a dress-wearing goat herder for a gallon of regular.
The President makes a great target here (and everywhere else!) but he isn't the only villain in the piece. Americans have spent the last twenty-nine years (the time since the Carter "energy crisis") using the size of their car as the outward manifestation of their prosperity. They should have been bending over right next to George. Detroit has been feeding us a steady diet of Explorers, Escalades, Yukons, and, of course, Hummers and we couldn't get enough. The next time you see a V-8 Chevy Blazer with an "I love America" bumper sticker, punch out his tail lights.
We have the best scientists (imported from Asia & India) and the best engineers (having immigrated from India and Germany). Do you think, maybe, we could have figured out a way to use a little less oil? We still can and we still should. China and India are burning all the petrol they can get and their thirst is increasing every day. If you think that Iraq is a war for oil, wait 'til China, with a million men under arms, joins the fight.
The next time you see an article in the paper about a robbery at a gas station don't be surprised if the sub head reads, "The thief left the cash and made off with a tank full of premium". America: the size of your car will not compensate for inadequate equipment under the hood. Our National pride should be worth more than the size of your Land Cruiser...or your trouser-monkey.
Thursday, May 08, 2008
...or has Rush Limbaugh migrated from oxycontin to oxymoron?
Item:
I don't care what flavor of politics you favor, no one should be happy about Rush Limbaugh,aka: the big, fat, idiot, attempting to manipulate the American electoral process for his own amusement. In a sane country (that would be a place where issues are more important than flag lapel pins) the hubris of a radio airbag believing that he can shape political events from behind a microphone would be laughable. Sadly, we live in a place where a staggering number of people actually hang on this guy's every word. This would be the same country where more people vote for American Idol than president.
It would be one thing to cheer for a candidate whose policies he supports or to belittle the views of the opposition - that is his right. However, encouraging your listener/lemmings to vote for candidates from the other party for the sole purpose of extending the nomination process is reprehensible. Has it ever occurred to this baboon that, by encouraging bad electoral behavior, he is promoting chaos just because he can? If you really care about America you want the two best possible candidates running in November. That way, regardless of who wins, America is in capable hands. It was the underhanded politics and disgraceful tactics of the Republican party in 2000 that gave the country George the Lesser instead of John McCain. How's that working out for you?
If a single Limbaugh devotee really cared about the United States they would disavow this tactic and change the channel. The cynicism of Rush Limbaugh degrades us all.
_____________________________________________________________________________________
Item:
Hillary, go home! It's over.
Senator Clinton says that she's staying in the race until there is a winner. Hil, baby, there is a winner. He's a skinny black guy.
Do your party a favor and return to Chappaqua or Washington or the Rose Law Firm; anywhere but West Virginia.
____________________________________________________________________________________
Item:
Sami al-Hagg, a former photographer for Al-Jazeera (that's a news network not a Simpsons character) was released from the U.S. detention facility at Guantanamo Bay...after six years. No charges were ever filed. No court ever heard his case. He simply became one of the 775 "detainees" sacrificed to the post 9-11 vengeance of the Bush administration. Having slept through the summer of 2001, the Bushes were determined to appear responsive. Sympathizers and fellow travelers were rounded up all over the world and dumped in a prison that Amnesty International calls "the gulag of our times". These people have served sentences longer than many murderers in America.
Where's the outrage people? Did the attacks on Sept 11,2001 revoke our status as the good guys?
The only way that anyone in this country will express any emotion about this stain on our conscience is if CBS interrupts an episode of Survivor to expose the problem. Just watch the outrage then!
_____________________________________________________________________________________
Item:
Osama Hussein need not apply.
Some U.S. air marshals are being refused a seat on flights because their name appears on no-fly lists.
It has been 6 1/2 years since 9-11. You would think that we might have figured this issue out by now. This is just another example of the stellar contractors that have done such a bang-up job in Iraq.
____________________________________________________________________________________
Item:
An Arkansas man awaiting trial on murder charges has filed a federal lawsuit claiming that the portion sizes of the meals in prison are causing him to lose weight. Originally incarcerated at a robust 413 pounds, the skimpy chow in the hoosegow has him at a svelte 330. The Arkansas Department of Corrections is contemplating a partnership with Kirstie Alley to promote the "Death Row Diet." The slogan, "Eat like there's no tomorrow and still lose weight."
____________________________________________________________________________________
Item:
Speaking of death row...Georgia just couldn't wait to give the needle to William Earl Lynd. (Are all killers required to have three names?) Now that the Supremes have green-lighted a resumption of executions, prisons all over the South are warming up their gurneys and restocking their medicine cabinets with sodium thiopenthal, pancuronium bromide and potassium chloride. The Texas death house looks like a bakery on Sunday morning. They're giving out numbers.
Isitjustme has always opined that, assuming we get it right, the death penalty is an effective way of taking out the trash. Some folks have just worn out their welcome. The problem is, we seem to be getting it wrong too often. Once is the definition of "too often."
The Innocence Project has been instrumental in the release of 216 inmates across America using DNA testing; 16 from death row. Of the 216 wrongfully convicted, 69% were black or Latino. (Everyone who is surprised, raise your hand.) Because Texas and many other bloodthirsty states destroy the evidence after an execution, we may never know how many innocent people died in the "furtherance of justice."
____________________________________________________________________________________
Item:
At a recent public appearence, Vladimer Putin leaned toward the party member sitting to his right and whispered, "Do you want to see a trick that I learned from Dick Cheney?" He then proceeded to drink an entire glass of water while Russia's new president Dmitry Medvedev gave a speech.
I don't care what flavor of politics you favor, no one should be happy about Rush Limbaugh,aka: the big, fat, idiot, attempting to manipulate the American electoral process for his own amusement. In a sane country (that would be a place where issues are more important than flag lapel pins) the hubris of a radio airbag believing that he can shape political events from behind a microphone would be laughable. Sadly, we live in a place where a staggering number of people actually hang on this guy's every word. This would be the same country where more people vote for American Idol than president.
It would be one thing to cheer for a candidate whose policies he supports or to belittle the views of the opposition - that is his right. However, encouraging your listener/lemmings to vote for candidates from the other party for the sole purpose of extending the nomination process is reprehensible. Has it ever occurred to this baboon that, by encouraging bad electoral behavior, he is promoting chaos just because he can? If you really care about America you want the two best possible candidates running in November. That way, regardless of who wins, America is in capable hands. It was the underhanded politics and disgraceful tactics of the Republican party in 2000 that gave the country George the Lesser instead of John McCain. How's that working out for you?
If a single Limbaugh devotee really cared about the United States they would disavow this tactic and change the channel. The cynicism of Rush Limbaugh degrades us all.
_____________________________________________________________________________________
Item:
Hillary, go home! It's over.
Senator Clinton says that she's staying in the race until there is a winner. Hil, baby, there is a winner. He's a skinny black guy.
Do your party a favor and return to Chappaqua or Washington or the Rose Law Firm; anywhere but West Virginia.
____________________________________________________________________________________
Item:
Sami al-Hagg, a former photographer for Al-Jazeera (that's a news network not a Simpsons character) was released from the U.S. detention facility at Guantanamo Bay...after six years. No charges were ever filed. No court ever heard his case. He simply became one of the 775 "detainees" sacrificed to the post 9-11 vengeance of the Bush administration. Having slept through the summer of 2001, the Bushes were determined to appear responsive. Sympathizers and fellow travelers were rounded up all over the world and dumped in a prison that Amnesty International calls "the gulag of our times". These people have served sentences longer than many murderers in America.
Where's the outrage people? Did the attacks on Sept 11,2001 revoke our status as the good guys?
The only way that anyone in this country will express any emotion about this stain on our conscience is if CBS interrupts an episode of Survivor to expose the problem. Just watch the outrage then!
_____________________________________________________________________________________
Item:
Osama Hussein need not apply.
Some U.S. air marshals are being refused a seat on flights because their name appears on no-fly lists.
It has been 6 1/2 years since 9-11. You would think that we might have figured this issue out by now. This is just another example of the stellar contractors that have done such a bang-up job in Iraq.
____________________________________________________________________________________
Item:
An Arkansas man awaiting trial on murder charges has filed a federal lawsuit claiming that the portion sizes of the meals in prison are causing him to lose weight. Originally incarcerated at a robust 413 pounds, the skimpy chow in the hoosegow has him at a svelte 330. The Arkansas Department of Corrections is contemplating a partnership with Kirstie Alley to promote the "Death Row Diet." The slogan, "Eat like there's no tomorrow and still lose weight."
____________________________________________________________________________________
Item:
Speaking of death row...Georgia just couldn't wait to give the needle to William Earl Lynd. (Are all killers required to have three names?) Now that the Supremes have green-lighted a resumption of executions, prisons all over the South are warming up their gurneys and restocking their medicine cabinets with sodium thiopenthal, pancuronium bromide and potassium chloride. The Texas death house looks like a bakery on Sunday morning. They're giving out numbers.
Isitjustme has always opined that, assuming we get it right, the death penalty is an effective way of taking out the trash. Some folks have just worn out their welcome. The problem is, we seem to be getting it wrong too often. Once is the definition of "too often."
The Innocence Project has been instrumental in the release of 216 inmates across America using DNA testing; 16 from death row. Of the 216 wrongfully convicted, 69% were black or Latino. (Everyone who is surprised, raise your hand.) Because Texas and many other bloodthirsty states destroy the evidence after an execution, we may never know how many innocent people died in the "furtherance of justice."
____________________________________________________________________________________
Item:
At a recent public appearence, Vladimer Putin leaned toward the party member sitting to his right and whispered, "Do you want to see a trick that I learned from Dick Cheney?" He then proceeded to drink an entire glass of water while Russia's new president Dmitry Medvedev gave a speech.
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
...or is Senator Obama sorry that he has Wright on his side?
Having blown the dust off the old keyboard...
Item
Senator Barak Obama is still living under the cloud of his pastor. It's no secret that isitjustme is in the tank for Obama but, on any level, this non-controversy baffles me.
Sen. Obama went to church every Sunday. That's a good thing. He attended services at the Trinity United Church of Christ where an entertaining, well regarded minister gave hundreds of sermons. Some of those sermons contained objectionable references.
What do we imagine the young state representative should have done during those sermons? Should he have jumped up and run for the door holding his ears? Should he have publicly chastised Rev. Wright? Should he have called a press conference and demonized the good pastor? Senator Obama did what you probably would have done; he put those offending remarks in the context of the time, place, audience and the point being made. In other words, he ignored them.
Do we imagine that George W. Bush, who claims to have attended church regularly in Texas, never heard a preacher step over the line regarding race? Anyway, who cares?
This is the stuff that gives Karl Rove an erection. You just drop a small pebble in the pond and watch the ripples. We have allowed inane issues to influence our political judgement to the point where an empty hat like George W. Bush can be elected by default. The issue of Reverend Wright needs to go away, soon.
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Item
And speaking of empty hats...
George W. Bush (yes, he's still President) held a press conference Wednesday. He still refuses to use the word "recession". It's possible he can't pronounce it.
Our great leader blamed Congress for the current economic situation, including the skyrocketing cost of gasoline. Now isitjustme has always maintained that presidents get too much credit and too much blame for the state of the economy. After all, no one ever confused Bill Clinton with John Maynard Keynes and he presided over eight years of spectacular growth.
Nevertheless the current administration has stood around with their hands in their pockets while the dollar approaches the value of the peso, the debt (thanks to the war) increases exponentially and, the cost of groceries is producing sticker shock. I'm not sure what George could do about all of this but acknowledging the problem would be a start. Hell, he can't be worried about his approval rating; after all, you can't fall off the floor!
This President was so desperate for a scapegoat, he blamed Congress for not permitting oil drilling in the ANWR. Did anyone mention to our "Texas toughguy" that Alaska isn't a giant gas station? You have to find it, transport it, refine it, transport it again and then pump it. That would take more than a few weeks.Next I suspect the President will be blaming Henry Ford for mass producing the automobile or Osama Bin Laden just for being Osama Bin Laden.
Sorry America, you voted for the president "that you'd like to have a beer with". How's that beer tasting now?
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Item
Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain...
The Rev. Adelir Antonio de Carli of Brazil received a standing ovation from his parishioners as he strapped himself into a chair attached to a huge cluster of helium filled balloons and ascended skyward. As to why Father de Carli would attempt this stunt will remain a mystery. Searches over the Atlantic have yet to recover any trace of the priest or his "craft". Maybe that should look in Kansas.
____________________________________________________________________________________
Item
Two issues remain to be discussed regarding the polygamist Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.
First, where are the men? Throughout the entire ordeal I have not seen a single (or married) adult male. In that most of the accusations involve old men forcing teenage girls into marriages, where are they? Don't they want to step up and tell the world how God wanted them to rape a harem of teenagers? Where's the religious zeal? Be proud of your perversions. God is with you.
Second, have you noticed how beautifully made those "Little House on the Prairie" dresses are? I'm considering writing to one of those women and ordering a few shirts. No hair shirts, please.
____________________________________________________________________________________
and lastly...
The White House is celebrating May Day today. The reason for joy at 1600 Pennsylvania Ave. is that April is finally over. April saw the death toll in Iraq climb to 49; back to the level of Sept., 07.
Since May, '03, "Mission Accomplished", 3924 American soldiers have been sacrificed to George W. Bush's War. America's invasion of Iraq is a national disgrace for which no one is held to account. Is their any American who wouldn't like to see the masterminds of the Bush administration hauled before Congress to explain the rosy predictions, misinformation and outright lies that got us to where are?
Item
Senator Barak Obama is still living under the cloud of his pastor. It's no secret that isitjustme is in the tank for Obama but, on any level, this non-controversy baffles me.
Sen. Obama went to church every Sunday. That's a good thing. He attended services at the Trinity United Church of Christ where an entertaining, well regarded minister gave hundreds of sermons. Some of those sermons contained objectionable references.
What do we imagine the young state representative should have done during those sermons? Should he have jumped up and run for the door holding his ears? Should he have publicly chastised Rev. Wright? Should he have called a press conference and demonized the good pastor? Senator Obama did what you probably would have done; he put those offending remarks in the context of the time, place, audience and the point being made. In other words, he ignored them.
Do we imagine that George W. Bush, who claims to have attended church regularly in Texas, never heard a preacher step over the line regarding race? Anyway, who cares?
This is the stuff that gives Karl Rove an erection. You just drop a small pebble in the pond and watch the ripples. We have allowed inane issues to influence our political judgement to the point where an empty hat like George W. Bush can be elected by default. The issue of Reverend Wright needs to go away, soon.
_____________________________________________________________________________________
Item
And speaking of empty hats...
George W. Bush (yes, he's still President) held a press conference Wednesday. He still refuses to use the word "recession". It's possible he can't pronounce it.
Our great leader blamed Congress for the current economic situation, including the skyrocketing cost of gasoline. Now isitjustme has always maintained that presidents get too much credit and too much blame for the state of the economy. After all, no one ever confused Bill Clinton with John Maynard Keynes and he presided over eight years of spectacular growth.
Nevertheless the current administration has stood around with their hands in their pockets while the dollar approaches the value of the peso, the debt (thanks to the war) increases exponentially and, the cost of groceries is producing sticker shock. I'm not sure what George could do about all of this but acknowledging the problem would be a start. Hell, he can't be worried about his approval rating; after all, you can't fall off the floor!
This President was so desperate for a scapegoat, he blamed Congress for not permitting oil drilling in the ANWR. Did anyone mention to our "Texas toughguy" that Alaska isn't a giant gas station? You have to find it, transport it, refine it, transport it again and then pump it. That would take more than a few weeks.Next I suspect the President will be blaming Henry Ford for mass producing the automobile or Osama Bin Laden just for being Osama Bin Laden.
Sorry America, you voted for the president "that you'd like to have a beer with". How's that beer tasting now?
____________________________________________________________________________________
Item
Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain...
The Rev. Adelir Antonio de Carli of Brazil received a standing ovation from his parishioners as he strapped himself into a chair attached to a huge cluster of helium filled balloons and ascended skyward. As to why Father de Carli would attempt this stunt will remain a mystery. Searches over the Atlantic have yet to recover any trace of the priest or his "craft". Maybe that should look in Kansas.
____________________________________________________________________________________
Item
Two issues remain to be discussed regarding the polygamist Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.
First, where are the men? Throughout the entire ordeal I have not seen a single (or married) adult male. In that most of the accusations involve old men forcing teenage girls into marriages, where are they? Don't they want to step up and tell the world how God wanted them to rape a harem of teenagers? Where's the religious zeal? Be proud of your perversions. God is with you.
Second, have you noticed how beautifully made those "Little House on the Prairie" dresses are? I'm considering writing to one of those women and ordering a few shirts. No hair shirts, please.
____________________________________________________________________________________
and lastly...
The White House is celebrating May Day today. The reason for joy at 1600 Pennsylvania Ave. is that April is finally over. April saw the death toll in Iraq climb to 49; back to the level of Sept., 07.
Since May, '03, "Mission Accomplished", 3924 American soldiers have been sacrificed to George W. Bush's War. America's invasion of Iraq is a national disgrace for which no one is held to account. Is their any American who wouldn't like to see the masterminds of the Bush administration hauled before Congress to explain the rosy predictions, misinformation and outright lies that got us to where are?
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
...or do we all need a few months off from our electoral process?
There are no slow news days, just bloggers who went to a ballgame and a Catholic Mass broke out.
Item
Hillary Clinton has finally had her "Dukakis in the Tank" moment. In an effort to contrast herself with the "elitist" remarks of her opponent, the Senator from New York downed a shot and a beer in an Indiana joint called Bronko's. (And you thought Cal Coolidge looked stupid in a headdress!) All that was missing was for the Democtatic hopeful to spit on the floor and bum a Lucky from the barfly on the next stool.
Mrs. Clinton has clearly renewed her citizendship to Fantasy Island. Since the Ohio primary she has:
-famously recounted her harrowing landing in Bosnia in 1996 (foolishly endangering a national treasure like Sinbad).
-claimed credit for helping broker the Good Friday peace accords in Northern Ireland. (No report of any snipers in Belfast).
-professed opposition to NAFTA "all along". (That's all along the Rust Belt.)
-voted for the President's right to declare war in Iraq but opposes the war itself.
-spoken lovingly of the second amendment in spite of a long Clinton history of support for anti gun laws.
This is the kind of campaigning that gets Democrats in trouble every time. Trying to make yourself look like every man, Joe six-pack when you made $109 million since 2000 just makes you appear foolish and insincere. You can campaign as a champion of the working American without trying to convince them that you carry a lunch pail. You wouldn't attempt to court the female vote by wearing a dress. Why lie and exaggerate your experiences? You only come off looking condescending. Wasn't that the charge you leveled at your opponent?
___________________________________________________________________
Item
The Pope is in town. Presumably he'll have more success filling Nationals Park than the home team. Why not? He has a better record.
It's fascinating that American Catholics treat the Pope with such respect and admiration. These are the same faithful who regard religious instructions from the Vatican with a gravity reserved for their mothers' warnings regarding swimming after eating...easily ignored with no apparent consequence. Clearly there is some disconnect between the Pope (a man) and the Papacy (an institution).
Interestingly, this cuts both ways. American Catholics find it convenient to ignore Church doctrine on birth control and divorce but the Vatican has been just as dismissive of the Faithful on the subjects of clerical celibacy and the role of women. The result is a Mexican standoff (with Mexicans taking an increasingly significant role).
Rome produces a steady stream of treatises (titled "bulls" by someone with a sense of humor) decrying "Catholic Relativism". The net message is that Catholic doctrine does not and will not change and Catholics must accept all of the Church's teachings. To ignore one tenant of the Faith is to abdicate your Catholicism. American Catholics yawn and go right back to practicing their own personal brand of worship. I love this country.
Anyway, the fact that American Catholics have reduced the Pope to the same degree of gravitas as Queen Elizabeth II doesn't diminish the splendor of the Papal visit. The level of civility at Yankee Stadium will be elevated to such a degree that you will hardly see any vendors outside the park hawking, "Presbyterians Suck" tee shirts. I only hope that some construction worker didn't bury a Star of David under home plate.
____________________________________________________________________
Item
The American Embassy in Baghdad is nearly ready for occupancy. If America were attempting to present a low key presence in the Middle East, building a structure roughly eight times the size of the Mall of America might not have been the way to go. Nothing says "We're here, to create fear, so get used to it" like an edifice grander that any of Saddam's palaces. On the positive side, the roof is large and flat enough to accommodate several helicopters simultaneously...perfect for the evacuation.
___________________________________________________________________
Item
Hillary Clinton has finally had her "Dukakis in the Tank" moment. In an effort to contrast herself with the "elitist" remarks of her opponent, the Senator from New York downed a shot and a beer in an Indiana joint called Bronko's. (And you thought Cal Coolidge looked stupid in a headdress!) All that was missing was for the Democtatic hopeful to spit on the floor and bum a Lucky from the barfly on the next stool.
Mrs. Clinton has clearly renewed her citizendship to Fantasy Island. Since the Ohio primary she has:
-famously recounted her harrowing landing in Bosnia in 1996 (foolishly endangering a national treasure like Sinbad).
-claimed credit for helping broker the Good Friday peace accords in Northern Ireland. (No report of any snipers in Belfast).
-professed opposition to NAFTA "all along". (That's all along the Rust Belt.)
-voted for the President's right to declare war in Iraq but opposes the war itself.
-spoken lovingly of the second amendment in spite of a long Clinton history of support for anti gun laws.
This is the kind of campaigning that gets Democrats in trouble every time. Trying to make yourself look like every man, Joe six-pack when you made $109 million since 2000 just makes you appear foolish and insincere. You can campaign as a champion of the working American without trying to convince them that you carry a lunch pail. You wouldn't attempt to court the female vote by wearing a dress. Why lie and exaggerate your experiences? You only come off looking condescending. Wasn't that the charge you leveled at your opponent?
___________________________________________________________________
Item
The Pope is in town. Presumably he'll have more success filling Nationals Park than the home team. Why not? He has a better record.
It's fascinating that American Catholics treat the Pope with such respect and admiration. These are the same faithful who regard religious instructions from the Vatican with a gravity reserved for their mothers' warnings regarding swimming after eating...easily ignored with no apparent consequence. Clearly there is some disconnect between the Pope (a man) and the Papacy (an institution).
Interestingly, this cuts both ways. American Catholics find it convenient to ignore Church doctrine on birth control and divorce but the Vatican has been just as dismissive of the Faithful on the subjects of clerical celibacy and the role of women. The result is a Mexican standoff (with Mexicans taking an increasingly significant role).
Rome produces a steady stream of treatises (titled "bulls" by someone with a sense of humor) decrying "Catholic Relativism". The net message is that Catholic doctrine does not and will not change and Catholics must accept all of the Church's teachings. To ignore one tenant of the Faith is to abdicate your Catholicism. American Catholics yawn and go right back to practicing their own personal brand of worship. I love this country.
Anyway, the fact that American Catholics have reduced the Pope to the same degree of gravitas as Queen Elizabeth II doesn't diminish the splendor of the Papal visit. The level of civility at Yankee Stadium will be elevated to such a degree that you will hardly see any vendors outside the park hawking, "Presbyterians Suck" tee shirts. I only hope that some construction worker didn't bury a Star of David under home plate.
____________________________________________________________________
Item
The American Embassy in Baghdad is nearly ready for occupancy. If America were attempting to present a low key presence in the Middle East, building a structure roughly eight times the size of the Mall of America might not have been the way to go. Nothing says "We're here, to create fear, so get used to it" like an edifice grander that any of Saddam's palaces. On the positive side, the roof is large and flat enough to accommodate several helicopters simultaneously...perfect for the evacuation.
___________________________________________________________________
Friday, April 04, 2008
...or is every day April Fools Day?
Stop the world. I'm getting nauseous over here!
Item
We should all acknowledge the debt we owe to Pat Buchanan. Without him we might forget what stupid, insensitive old white guys really sound like. Were it not for Pat and his access to the media, the reason for black anger in America might be less crystallized.
Mr. Buchanan published a column on March 21 called A Brief for Whitey. The entire piece is available on his web site.
Among his thoughts, he wonders why black people in America aren't more grateful than angry. After all "no people anywhere has done more to lift up blacks than white Americans." (Presumably that includes lifting them up on the auction block.) Mr. Buchanan lists food stamps, rent supplements, student loans and several other programs apparently unavailable to poor or needy white people. (The vast majority of food stamp recipients in the U.S. are white.) Well thank you massa. We sure do thank you fo dat.
I could go on for a week but the point is that 145 years after the Emancipation Proclamation, blacks still require laws and sometimes bayonets to secure the rights and privileges that whites take for granted. Blacks have done all that was required: fought in wars, paid taxes, attempted to better themselves. When the playing field is finally level, none of the give-backs and set-asides will be needed. What we need now is a lot less of Pat Buchanan.
___________________________________________________________________
Item
Robert Klein was a guest on Bill Maher's show last week and allowed that the one good thing about the Eliot Spitzer story is that is dispels the notion that Jews never pay retail.
___________________________________________________________________
Item
Zach Dunlap awoke in a Wichita Falls hospital to discover that a surgeon was about to harvest his organs for transplant. Zach suffered a head injury in an atv accident in Davidson, OK. He was pronounced brain dead and was being prepped for the harvest when he grabbed the nurse's arm.
Isitjustme advises everyone to check their organ donor cards to make sure that they require that you are dead first, a seemingly small but vital technicality. (Pat Buchanan is donating his heart to the Smithsonian miniature museum.)
___________________________________________________________________
Item
Try to follow this item.
An Oregon "man" who used to be a woman, is pregnant. It seems that, although she/he went through the preliminary sex change procedures (including tailoring all his shirts to button to the left), she/he neglected to trade in her plumbing for something more external. Anyway, this oversight proved helpful after he/she got married to a women who was infertile. Adding new meaning to the term selfless, our hero stopped taking his/ her hormones and got pregnant. No mention was made of the sperm donor. Possibly a psychiatrist looking to sow the seeds for future patients.
___________________________________________________________________
Item
Prisoners in Vermont have filed a class action suit charging that a food called Nutraloaf (made with cubed bread, vegetables and powdered milk) be declared cruel and unusual. The head of the prison dept. in the state declared "Well hell. We don't have capital punishment and we're constitutionally prohibited from serving Spam (see Constitution of the State of Vermont, Article XXV, sec 4, sub-paragraph j, titled "Dog food as substitute for chicken"). Nutraloaf is the next best thing to waterboarding." The case is pending.
Item
We should all acknowledge the debt we owe to Pat Buchanan. Without him we might forget what stupid, insensitive old white guys really sound like. Were it not for Pat and his access to the media, the reason for black anger in America might be less crystallized.
Mr. Buchanan published a column on March 21 called A Brief for Whitey. The entire piece is available on his web site.
Among his thoughts, he wonders why black people in America aren't more grateful than angry. After all "no people anywhere has done more to lift up blacks than white Americans." (Presumably that includes lifting them up on the auction block.) Mr. Buchanan lists food stamps, rent supplements, student loans and several other programs apparently unavailable to poor or needy white people. (The vast majority of food stamp recipients in the U.S. are white.) Well thank you massa. We sure do thank you fo dat.
I could go on for a week but the point is that 145 years after the Emancipation Proclamation, blacks still require laws and sometimes bayonets to secure the rights and privileges that whites take for granted. Blacks have done all that was required: fought in wars, paid taxes, attempted to better themselves. When the playing field is finally level, none of the give-backs and set-asides will be needed. What we need now is a lot less of Pat Buchanan.
___________________________________________________________________
Item
Robert Klein was a guest on Bill Maher's show last week and allowed that the one good thing about the Eliot Spitzer story is that is dispels the notion that Jews never pay retail.
___________________________________________________________________
Item
Zach Dunlap awoke in a Wichita Falls hospital to discover that a surgeon was about to harvest his organs for transplant. Zach suffered a head injury in an atv accident in Davidson, OK. He was pronounced brain dead and was being prepped for the harvest when he grabbed the nurse's arm.
Isitjustme advises everyone to check their organ donor cards to make sure that they require that you are dead first, a seemingly small but vital technicality. (Pat Buchanan is donating his heart to the Smithsonian miniature museum.)
___________________________________________________________________
Item
Try to follow this item.
An Oregon "man" who used to be a woman, is pregnant. It seems that, although she/he went through the preliminary sex change procedures (including tailoring all his shirts to button to the left), she/he neglected to trade in her plumbing for something more external. Anyway, this oversight proved helpful after he/she got married to a women who was infertile. Adding new meaning to the term selfless, our hero stopped taking his/ her hormones and got pregnant. No mention was made of the sperm donor. Possibly a psychiatrist looking to sow the seeds for future patients.
___________________________________________________________________
Item
Prisoners in Vermont have filed a class action suit charging that a food called Nutraloaf (made with cubed bread, vegetables and powdered milk) be declared cruel and unusual. The head of the prison dept. in the state declared "Well hell. We don't have capital punishment and we're constitutionally prohibited from serving Spam (see Constitution of the State of Vermont, Article XXV, sec 4, sub-paragraph j, titled "Dog food as substitute for chicken"). Nutraloaf is the next best thing to waterboarding." The case is pending.
Sunday, March 30, 2008
...or was Karl Rove seen at the Trinity United Church of Christ?
A message to white, conservative America...get over yourselves.
Our friends on the right are having a gay, old time (not like "Larry Craig" gay) clucking their tongues and shaking their heads over the Rev. Jeremiah Wright and the sermons he preached while Barak Obama was within earshot. It seems that Rev. Wright made a few inflammatory statements that would not have gotten him invited to a communion breakfast at the local VFW hall. Heaven forfend!
Forget that George Bush traveled to South Carolina on his knees (not like "Larry Craig" on his knees) in 2000 to kiss Jerry Falwell's ass. That would be the same Jerry Falwell who blamed the 9-11 attacks on gays and lesbians. I guess all outrageous rhetoric is not created equal. However, tempting thou it is, this rant is not about George the Lessor.
The Obama/Wright issue is a red herring on so many levels that it's hard to know where to begin. Let's start with Rev. Wright.
The Reverend is a Navy and Marine Corps veteran. (Dick Cheney and Rush Limbaugh had better things to do.) Before his recent retirement he had been the pastor of the Trinity United Church of Christ since 1972. His list of achievements and honors would fill a book including praise from Presidents Johnson and Clinton. But he is also a 67 year old black man in America. His experiences with racism are typical of his generation.
His denunciation of the treatment of black Americans at the hands of the white establishment is entirely understandable and entirely justified. Blacks in this country have endured 400 years of slavery followed by another 100 years of Jim Crow segregation. People can get pretty angry in 500 years. Just because things have finally begun to improve somewhat since the 60's, is no reason to think that African Americans have forgiven and forgotten. Being less of a second-class citizen is still to be a second-class citizen. If, as a white person in this country, you believe that Black people have gained full equality, that you probably also believed "Mission Accomplished".
As a white person living in the United States I have at no time, or for any reason, been discriminated against. I have never been stopped by the police for being in a wealthy neighborhood. I have never been watched in a jewelry store or asked by mistake to park some one's car in front of a restaurant. No one has ever called me a racially-based name. (All slurs against me have been intelligence-based)
White America has no idea what it means to be black and therefore no idea how they might react to the systemic degradation of their race. You simply have no frame of reference.
Yes, Barak Obama attended Sunday services at Rev. Wright's church in Chicago and he heard many of the pastor's over-the-top sermons. To suggest that the Senator took every word to heart is nonsense. None of us agree with all of the opinions of our friends and mentors. Even John McCain has had to distance himself from the opinions of some of the people that have endorsed him. Besides, I thought all you conservatives liked church-goers.
Barak Obama is black. Sooner or later that fact had to come up. Rather than sidestep the issue the Senator from Illinois addressed it directly. That sort of candor was missing from the discussion of George W. Bush's drug use, or the Clinton's recent tax returns. Obama's treatment of his friendship with Rev. Wright stands in stark contrast to how Hillary Clinton tap-danced around the Bosnia-sniper statement. (not like Larry Craig tap dancing.)
Obama supporters can remain secure in the knowledge that most of the electorate who have been offended by the sermons of Reverend Wright, weren't wearing Obama '08 buttons anyway.
They wear buttons that say "Alcohol, Tobacco & Firearms Should be an Advertising Slogan".
Our friends on the right are having a gay, old time (not like "Larry Craig" gay) clucking their tongues and shaking their heads over the Rev. Jeremiah Wright and the sermons he preached while Barak Obama was within earshot. It seems that Rev. Wright made a few inflammatory statements that would not have gotten him invited to a communion breakfast at the local VFW hall. Heaven forfend!
Forget that George Bush traveled to South Carolina on his knees (not like "Larry Craig" on his knees) in 2000 to kiss Jerry Falwell's ass. That would be the same Jerry Falwell who blamed the 9-11 attacks on gays and lesbians. I guess all outrageous rhetoric is not created equal. However, tempting thou it is, this rant is not about George the Lessor.
The Obama/Wright issue is a red herring on so many levels that it's hard to know where to begin. Let's start with Rev. Wright.
The Reverend is a Navy and Marine Corps veteran. (Dick Cheney and Rush Limbaugh had better things to do.) Before his recent retirement he had been the pastor of the Trinity United Church of Christ since 1972. His list of achievements and honors would fill a book including praise from Presidents Johnson and Clinton. But he is also a 67 year old black man in America. His experiences with racism are typical of his generation.
His denunciation of the treatment of black Americans at the hands of the white establishment is entirely understandable and entirely justified. Blacks in this country have endured 400 years of slavery followed by another 100 years of Jim Crow segregation. People can get pretty angry in 500 years. Just because things have finally begun to improve somewhat since the 60's, is no reason to think that African Americans have forgiven and forgotten. Being less of a second-class citizen is still to be a second-class citizen. If, as a white person in this country, you believe that Black people have gained full equality, that you probably also believed "Mission Accomplished".
As a white person living in the United States I have at no time, or for any reason, been discriminated against. I have never been stopped by the police for being in a wealthy neighborhood. I have never been watched in a jewelry store or asked by mistake to park some one's car in front of a restaurant. No one has ever called me a racially-based name. (All slurs against me have been intelligence-based)
White America has no idea what it means to be black and therefore no idea how they might react to the systemic degradation of their race. You simply have no frame of reference.
Yes, Barak Obama attended Sunday services at Rev. Wright's church in Chicago and he heard many of the pastor's over-the-top sermons. To suggest that the Senator took every word to heart is nonsense. None of us agree with all of the opinions of our friends and mentors. Even John McCain has had to distance himself from the opinions of some of the people that have endorsed him. Besides, I thought all you conservatives liked church-goers.
Barak Obama is black. Sooner or later that fact had to come up. Rather than sidestep the issue the Senator from Illinois addressed it directly. That sort of candor was missing from the discussion of George W. Bush's drug use, or the Clinton's recent tax returns. Obama's treatment of his friendship with Rev. Wright stands in stark contrast to how Hillary Clinton tap-danced around the Bosnia-sniper statement. (not like Larry Craig tap dancing.)
Obama supporters can remain secure in the knowledge that most of the electorate who have been offended by the sermons of Reverend Wright, weren't wearing Obama '08 buttons anyway.
They wear buttons that say "Alcohol, Tobacco & Firearms Should be an Advertising Slogan".
Thursday, March 13, 2008
...or does four grand not go as far as it use to?
Eliot, Eliot...where did we go wrong? We sent you to Horace Mann, to Princeton, to Harvard Law. You married the shikseh from North Carolina. You got the best jobs with the best firms. The people of New York literally swept you into the governor's mansion. You had it all. All you had to do was follow your heart and your brain to Washington. Following your johnson was never part of the plan.
I blame George W. Bush. Actually, I blame GWB for the Lincoln shooting and for the Cubs blowing a big lead in 1969. However, if you can't blame George, how about Richard M. Nixon? If he hadn't made the Army a volunteer force, maybe Gov. Spitzer would have been drafted. Part of his basic training would have included watching the training film, "Hello, Sailor." That lesson might have prevented all of this unpleasantness. As it is, the only good thing to come of the Governor's transgression is that writers for Leno and Letterman are arriving for work at dawn every day.
Several questions have surfaced in the wake of the "Spitzer issue":
What does a women have to do to earn $4,000 (aside from the obvious stuff like do your taxes, wax your car, or paint your house)? I like to think of myself as reasonably degenerate, and I can't get passed about $42.50. (This lack of imagination may explain my lack of success with women.) Maybe they do it on a bed of Krugeraands. During the Clinton years they could have used the Lincoln bedroom and the $4,000 would have been a campaign contribution.
If Client #9 (you really can't make this stuff up) was the Gov., who were numbers 1-8? Were they assigned by length of their membership or the length of their member? Was Spitzer named after the love potion? Spitzer was also known as George Fox. Was that his nom-de-poon?
How does the Attorney General for the State of New York find his way to the Emperor's Club? Referral from Chuck Schumer? Did he Google "outrageously expensive whores who deliver to Washington, D.C.?" Did he try the Yellow Pages under "career-killers?"
Many men stray because things get a little chilly at home. If Eliot thought that his love life with Silda was frosty before... Did you see the look on his wife's face during the first press conference? She looked like she found out that Hannibal Lecter was her new gynocologist.
At any rate, Ashley Alexandra Dupre, aka Kristen, aka the party of the first part, joins the pantheon of bimbos that includes Donna Rice, Fannie Fox, Fawn Hall, Rita Jenrette and, of course, Queen Monica. The Topps Trading Card Co. is contemplating a new line of collectible trading cards including all of these ladies. It will be called Figures in History. (Hey! I'll trade you two Judith Campbells for an Elizabeth Ray.) There will be an entire sub-set called The Clinton Girls.
One imagines that Eliot Spitzer will survive. He's smart (if not too bright) and, if his predecessors' trip down the walk of shame is any indication, he will not end up as a greeter at the Mirage in Las Vegas. Some think-tank (studying the feasibility of gelding elected officials) will scoop him up. Perhaps a university needs a professor for a new field of study in "The Penis as an Organ for Change." The text will be written by Edward Kennedy.
I blame George W. Bush. Actually, I blame GWB for the Lincoln shooting and for the Cubs blowing a big lead in 1969. However, if you can't blame George, how about Richard M. Nixon? If he hadn't made the Army a volunteer force, maybe Gov. Spitzer would have been drafted. Part of his basic training would have included watching the training film, "Hello, Sailor." That lesson might have prevented all of this unpleasantness. As it is, the only good thing to come of the Governor's transgression is that writers for Leno and Letterman are arriving for work at dawn every day.
Several questions have surfaced in the wake of the "Spitzer issue":
What does a women have to do to earn $4,000 (aside from the obvious stuff like do your taxes, wax your car, or paint your house)? I like to think of myself as reasonably degenerate, and I can't get passed about $42.50. (This lack of imagination may explain my lack of success with women.) Maybe they do it on a bed of Krugeraands. During the Clinton years they could have used the Lincoln bedroom and the $4,000 would have been a campaign contribution.
If Client #9 (you really can't make this stuff up) was the Gov., who were numbers 1-8? Were they assigned by length of their membership or the length of their member? Was Spitzer named after the love potion? Spitzer was also known as George Fox. Was that his nom-de-poon?
How does the Attorney General for the State of New York find his way to the Emperor's Club? Referral from Chuck Schumer? Did he Google "outrageously expensive whores who deliver to Washington, D.C.?" Did he try the Yellow Pages under "career-killers?"
Many men stray because things get a little chilly at home. If Eliot thought that his love life with Silda was frosty before... Did you see the look on his wife's face during the first press conference? She looked like she found out that Hannibal Lecter was her new gynocologist.
At any rate, Ashley Alexandra Dupre, aka Kristen, aka the party of the first part, joins the pantheon of bimbos that includes Donna Rice, Fannie Fox, Fawn Hall, Rita Jenrette and, of course, Queen Monica. The Topps Trading Card Co. is contemplating a new line of collectible trading cards including all of these ladies. It will be called Figures in History. (Hey! I'll trade you two Judith Campbells for an Elizabeth Ray.) There will be an entire sub-set called The Clinton Girls.
One imagines that Eliot Spitzer will survive. He's smart (if not too bright) and, if his predecessors' trip down the walk of shame is any indication, he will not end up as a greeter at the Mirage in Las Vegas. Some think-tank (studying the feasibility of gelding elected officials) will scoop him up. Perhaps a university needs a professor for a new field of study in "The Penis as an Organ for Change." The text will be written by Edward Kennedy.
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