...or is Rudy Giuliani much to do about not much?

Quiz: Who was the base commander at Pearl Harbor on Dec 7th, 1941? Who was the mayor of Johnstown, PA when the dam broke in 1889? Who was the mayor of Oklahoma City in 1995 when the Murrah Federal Building blew up? Who was the mayor of New York in Feb,1993 when Ramzi Yousef exploded 1,500 lbs of dynamite under the World Trade Center? When choosing the person best qualified to run the country, the correct answer for all four questions is, "Who cares". Why then, are we so taken with the guy who was mayor of New York when disaster struck in 2001? Because he gives good press conference? Frankly, I'd rather have a leader who had a few answers before the attack or who was somehow prepared for trouble.(Establishing your Emergency Control Center inside the WTC after it had already been marked as a target is not "preparing for trouble"). If all I wanted in a leader was a guy who looked mournful and indignant while standing in the rubble, we could elect Lonesome George again. I don't hear anyone suggesting that Ray Nagen of New Orleans run for president. Mayor Nagen had to actually do something. He had a much more difficult job because many of his victims were still alive and in desperate need. Electing Rudy Giuliani to the presidency based on his performance during 9/11 would be like electing Capt E. J. Smith of the Titanic as head of the White Star Shipping Line. If you avert disaster you're a hero. If you capitalize on disaster you're a swine. Not to paint too dark a picture here but prior to 9/11 Rudy was the laughing stock of New York. The stories of his extra-marital affair ( out #2 - in # 3) was daily fodder for the New York Post. Rudy was worth about $2 million on 9/10/01. Since the towers fell, America's mayor is a rock star. He is conservatively worth about $60 million and just last year cleared $11.4 million in speaking fees. He also has an honorary knighthood from the Queen. I suspect that Elton John will someday compose a song about him. Why not? They have the same hair dresser. But you gotta love a guy who marries his second cousin (wife #1) then fifteen years later, after canoodling soon-to-be-wife #2, appeals to the Roman Catholic Church to have the marriage annulled because he didn't know that his wife was his second cousin. You can't make this stuff up. Who did he think she was at all those family reunions...the caterer? But wait! We are told that Rudy did far more for New York than attend the funerals of policemen and firemen. While leader of New York from 1994 to 2001, America's Mayor reduced crime in a city that was thought to be beyond hope. Well, if a drop in the crime stats is the Giuliani legacy than why is there no grass roots effort to draft former Mayor Sharpe James of Newark, N.J.? His crime record is far superior to that of Mayor Rudy. (The fact that he committed many of the crimes himself is beside the point). Tom Bradley of Los Angeles saw crime decline in his city during the same period and Bradley had Rodney King to deal with. One helper that Mayors James and Bradley did not have in their war on crime was Bernie Kerik. Non-New Yorkers may not remember Mr Kerik. He was the Horatio Alger-esque detective who rose from being Mr. Giuliani's driver to the rank of Commissioner of the Department of Corrections. Mr. Kerik recently plead guilty to corruption charges and is currently facing federal tax and conspiracy allegations. This guy could swing the crime rate all by himself. If the idea of electing Rudy Giuliani to the office of President is strange, then the idea of nominating him as a Republican is downright bizarre. Only in New York , home of the liberal wing of the Republican Party (long deceased) would Rudy Giuliani be considered a Republican. Consider: He has been married three times. The first two ended by extramarital affairs. As stats go he is approaching Henry VIII. He supports a women's right to chose. (For the dummies at Liberty University that means he's pro abortion.) He's pro gun control. (That should wow 'em in Texas.) In two of his mayoral campaigns he ran on the Liberal party ticket. (Take that, Hilary!) In 1997 he was endorsed by The New York Times. (Those commies!) He's pro gay. Hell, he's got more photos of himself in women's clothes than Dame Edna. His law firm has lobbied for stem cell research. This guy is to the left of Denis Kucinich. How the religious right will be able to swallow this heathen is anybody's guess. Given a choice between Rudy and Hilary, I imagine that they will opt for a Jim Jones Kool-Aid Cocktail. Come to think of it, this is the perfect guy to follow in the footsteps of GWB. After the hash that this administration has made of American-European relations, Rudy is the perfect antidote. With his reputation in the sack, the French will treat him like the next Jerry Lewis.

...or is Don Rumsfeld just scary/crazy?

There are no slow news days, just lazy bloggers. Just when you were all prepared to hear Gen. Petraeus tell you that another ten years or so of American interference in Iraq ought to bring stability, maybe, along comes Don. You may remember former Secretary of State Donald Rumsfeld as the appleheaded architect of America's stunning victory in the Middle East. Mr. Rumsfeld, thankfully retired from government service, is quoted in an article for GQ (Governmental Quagmire?) that Afghanistan is a "big success". That's more than can be said for Donald Rumsfeld. Don must have gone long on poppies this season because the only success in Afghanistan is in the opium trade. Apparently Don has forgotten the cardinal rule "Don't get high on your own supply". To be fair, Afghanistan is a big success... if you are a member of the Taliban. It's not like the "coalition of the browbeaten" is around to enforce the law. There are more soldiers at the St. Patrick's Day parade in New York than in Afghanistan. President Karzai controls about two zip codes in Kabul. The Taliban, war lords and various assorted evil-doers are running the rest. Bin Laden is opening a Club Med in Tora Bora. Mullah Omar is starting a minor league baseball team; the Kandahar Kushmen. But let us not discount Donald Rumsfeld. It was our Secretary of Defense who told every soldier at the Pentagon above the grade of sergeant to shut up when they advised him that 120,000 troops were not nearly enough to pacify the Sunnis and Shais once Saddam was history. His many insightful quotes during his cabinet tenure will surely be writ large when the legacy of George "The Decider" Bush is recorded. Remember his response to a reporter who inquired as to why no effort was made to prevent the looting of Iraqi historical treasures? Rumsfeld boldly asserted, "stuff happens". Or who could forget his omniscient prediction on how long the Iraq incursion would last? In Feb. of 2003 he opined, "It is unknowable how long that conflict will last. It could last six days, six weeks. I doubt six months." Move over Nostradamus. And how's this for profound: "Reports that say that something hasn't happened are always interesting to me because, as we know there are known knowns; there are things we know we know.We also know that there are known unknowns; that is to say we know there are some things we know that we don't know. But there are also unknown unknowns; the ones we don't know we don't know." Boy, what government agency wouldn't be proud to have that baby chiseled into their entry lintel? This man should be in jail for the criminal waste of 3,500 American lives. He has shown nothing but contempt for anyonewho doesn't see his warped vision of the future. I'm sure his stay at the Hoover Institute is assured because he clearly understands how to suck the energy out of anything he touches.

...or do really strange things surface in August?

Item Just when you thought it was safe to use the men's room in the Minneapolis airport... No sooner do we get rid of Congressmen Degenerate from Florida ( that would be Mark Foley for those of you with ADD) when we are confronted with Senator Pervert from Idaho. Senator Larry Craig has a perfectly reasonable explanation for signaling his stallmate in the airport lav. He wasn't using the code sign for "how about a little pitcher/catcher 'til they call our flight?" No. He was just spreading out, getting comfortable, making good use of the space available. If he tapped the shoe of his neighbor, well, it was just his restless leg syndrome. The explanation could have been worse. He could have asserted that, having exhausted the supply of t.p. on his side of the wall, he was merely asking for two five's for a ten. The Senate coat closet must hardly have room inside for a coat. Why is it always the most self righteous big mouth (may be a poor choice there) who turns out to be skulking in the closet? Mark Foley, Ted Haggard, David Vitter and all of the myriad repressed "sinners" are delighted to tell the rest of us how to live. Let he who is without sin cast the first condom. Anyway it won't be long before you will be able to purchase the new line of Larry Craig shopping bags at airport souvenir stands. Just give them your shoe size and you're on your way. _________________________________________________________________________ Item A new study by the Trust for America's Health finds that Mississippi is the fattest state in the country with an obesity rate in excess of 30%. Alabama, West Virginia, Arkansas and Louisiana are waddling right behind. I find it fascinating that all five of these states are firmly in the Red column. All of them supported GWB twice. Mississippi also has 350 fewer libraries than the national average and ranks 49 out of 50 on the "Smart State" Meter. This is not a coincidence. Consider, if you will, the similarities between George W. Bush and glazed donuts: both look nice in a homey, sugary way. both are devoid of benefit (Think "empty calories...empty suit"). both tend to be chosen without much thought. both are bad for you. We can fix this if we try (Not the voting record... the chubbiness) . Instead of driving down to Walmart Saturday in your SUV with the Presidents Fitness Council bumper sticker, try walking to a book store or a library. (A longer walk in Mississippi.) At the very least, if you're going to Wendy's, park in the Burger King lot and walk over. Reintroduce your family to the vegetable. We weren't raised on fast food and packaged junk. Why are we doing this to our kids? It's like smoking. Stop it! _________________________________________________________________________ Item Michael Vick and Alberto Gonzales pleading guilty in the same week. What are the odds. Well, OK "Guantanamo Al" didn't exactly plead guilty but you don't leave a cushy job in a lame duck administration unless you did something really bad. Al must have called in sick the day that Karl Rove was teaching the "How to Bullshit a Congressional Committee" course. He gave a worse performance than if Steven Segal did "Death of a Salesman". So with 17 months remaining in the endless presidency of GWB, all of the Texas Mafia from 2000 has headed for the tall timbers. Well maybe not all. Dick Cheney has hung a "gone hunting" sign on his door. Karen Hughes is still around but she's busy trying to find some world leader that will risk a photo-op with the American President. Most would rather pose with Michael Vick. ___________________________________________________________________ Item In case you missed it, the poppy crop in Afghanistan has hit a record for the second year in a row. Those guys in the Taliban may be lousy as museum curators but they're aces in agriculture. If we could teach them to grow corn, Afghanistan could become an energy producing country, not to mention the manufacturer of the munchies to accompany the drugs. ___________________________________________________________________ Item George W. Bush has found New Orleans. I guess that it wasn't too difficult considering that it looks pretty much the same as it did two years ago. In a display of presidential chutzpa for which this administration is world famous, Sensitive George visited the Crecent City yesterday on the anniversary of that little storm thing that happened two years ago. You have to be impressed with a president that asks Congress for $50 billion we don't have, to fight a losing war in Iraq but can't seem to locate a few bucks to restore one of America's crown jewels. Mayor Ray Nagen is considering publishing a report that there are weapons of mass distruction in the French Quarter. At least then the army might show up.

...or are there things you were better off not knowing?

Item Atlanta councilman C.T. Martin is proposing a new law. He wants all Jockeys invisible in public (presumably exclusive of small people who ride horses for a living). His proposed addition to the indecency laws would impose a fine on anyone showing his or her unmentionables in public. (The possibility of leaving the men's room with your fly down was not addressed nor was inadvertently tucking your skirt into the back of your knickers.) This is another example of a public official with way too much time on his hands. Councilman Martin is just another straight arrow trying to join the race with New York and Chicago competing for the "Let's Be Singapore" award. Apparently it has escaped C.T.'s notice that most of the kids wearing their baggies around their knees are black teenagers. Because he too is African American, he apparently feels it's OK to pass laws that target black males. After all, it's OK for Jackie Mason to lampoon Jews, right? Don't the Atlanta cops have enough excuses for hassling black kids? To ensure that girls don't feel left out, Councilman Martin's fashion police will also be on the lookout for exposed bra straps and telltale thongs. Looks like Madonna won't be playing the Georgia Dome any time soon. Brandy Chastain, put your shirt on! It seems clear that Mr. Martin grew up on a planet where kids didn't do everything humanly possible to enrage their parents and any authority figures they could find. The whole point of wearing long hair (the 60's), bell bottoms (the 70's), earrings on boys (the 80's) was to incite adults to shake their heads and sigh "these kids today..." The only possible reason for showing America half your backside would be to make a "statement." Sadly that statement is usually, "I'm really not as dumb as these pants make me look." The original idea for the droopy-drawers look comes from the penitentiary where they take away your shoelaces and belt. Mr. Martin has decided that prison is not the place from which to glean fashion statements. Whether we agree or not is wholly irrelevant. These kids will outgrow this affectation the same way we all did... when we need to get a job (unless your future employer is Fruit of the Loom). Meanwhile, should C.T. succeed, his next ordinance will levy a $50 fine for anyone wearing a baseball cap with the bill facing anywhere but forward, and an outright ban on wearing hood ornaments and household appliances as fashion accessories. We'll clean the little bastards up yet! ___________________________________________________________________ Item It was announced recently that Jenna Bush, daughter of President George W. Bush, will soon be marring Henry Hager of Virginia. With Karl Rove gone from the White House, it was unclear from whom young Henry sought the hand of the fair Jenna. Plans for the wedding have been left in the capable hands of Donald Rumsfeld and Dick Cheney. They have indicated that the actual ceremony will be over fairly quickly but as to what comes after they have no earthly idea. ___________________________________________________________________ Item Isitjustme would never forget a friend so here's the latest on The Reverend Ted Haggard. You may remember Rev. Ted from such songs as "I May Be a Big Man in the God Game But I'll Never Leave My Friend's Behind". (Sorry!) Ted has decided, along with his wife, (the female one) to return to academia and pursue a degree in counseling and psychology. He then plans to move to The Phoenix Dream Center (I kid you not!) and begin a career in counseling. Considering Ted's religious devotion to methamphetamine, one would imagine that he had already spent too much time at the Dream Center. Reverend Haggard is passing the collection plate among friends and former parishioners for financial support while he completes his education at the University of Phoenix. (Isn't that like YouTube University?) Apparently the wages of sin weren't enough to support a return to college. The royalties from his books and videos have been a little light lately. Getting busted for drugs and hiring male prostitutes can really put a crimp in the old revenue hose when your message is "Follow me to the moral high ground". We're pulling for you Rev.

...or does the news sometimes put you in a funk?

Occasionally I despair of my fellow man. Have any of you heard the name Kia Vaughan? Would only that it could remain thus. Ms. Vaughan is or was a member of the Rutgers Womens Basketball Team. This is the same group of young women that were so cruelly maligned by Don Imus on his radio program last April. Not content with Imus' apology and subsequent banishment from his radio gig, sweet Kia is suing Imus, Bernard McGirk (Imus' producer and sidekick), and CBS Radio, Viacom, MSNBC, NBC Universal and presumably, Gugliemo Marconi, the guy who gets credit for inventing the radio. Greed aside (and this is all about greed) let us review the facts in the case. Imus made a tasteless, unkind remark about a group of people. No one was named. No woman singled out. Aside from their parents, the coach and the other players, no one, and I mean no one has the vaguest idea who plays womens basketball for Rutgers. The team's success in the NCAA tournament raised their profile to approximately that of the wrestling team at Iowa or the Olympic fencing team. Question one: can a reasonably anonymous person, defamed as part of a group, willfully shed their anonymity and then claim defamation? Michael Wilbon of the Washington Post suggests that this case only flies if Judge Sharpton is presiding. Question two: Is a person's reputation damaged more by the off-handed slur of a radio shock jock or by filing a multimillion lawsuit over the incident? Side issues include: What if the crack had been made by Charlie Joiner? What if the entire student body of Howard University had been defamed? We will all cringe when this gold-digging tootsie settles out of court and goes on to write a book about the humiliation she suffered at the hands of "Mr. Whitey". Considering that a whore is someone who sells themselves for money, Imus might have actually gotten it half right. On the subject of greed, Virginia Tech University is awarding the families of students murdered in the April 16 massacre, approximately $180,000 each. The money was collected as donations from people all over the country. Now, some of the family members are planning to meet to see if this arrangement meets with their approval. Really? Someone needs to explain to me when this country became immersed in the tragedy/entitlement lottery. I suspect that 9/11 put us over the top. Families with million dollar bank accounts and multimillion dollar insurance policies were griping because the $2 million that they received from the Sept. 11th relief fund wasn't enough. Allocations were made based on future earning potential rather than need. I never did hear what the survivors of the store clerks and cigarette shop owners got but I'll bet it wasn't $2 million. Some New York City Fire Fighters and EMT workers are still being short changed. I understand charity and the money that Americans donated should make all of us proud but when people start lobbying for more and more I start to squirm. Why do people feel entitled to a payday if a loved one is involved in a tragedy? If your husband /wife was killed in a car wreck on the way to the WTC on 9/11/2001 you got squat. The family of a private killed in Iraq gets a max. of $650,000. Anyway, I'm sure that the Virginia Tech families and the University will reach an agreement. I am equally sure that someone will feel cheated and sue. Maybe Kia Vaughan's lawyers are available.

...or should Americans stop shouting about being the greatest and become great again?

Sorry, Texas! Americans have lost their claim to being the tallest country on Earth. According to John Komlos, of the University of Munich (assuming you can trust those Germans), the Dutch are now about two inches taller than your average American. Robert Fogel of the University of Chicago states, "It's a puzzle to which we really don't have a good answer". In the absence of reliable scientific data, isitjustme would like to trot out a few hypotheses. We began to shrink on the world stage about the time that George W. Bush became president. Laugh if you will but fact are facts. The first thing Mr. Bush did was to withdraw America from participation in the Kyoto Accords. The entire world was grappling with runaway energy use and climate change and the biggest pig at the trough decided to opt out.I'm sure that the president's history with the oil industry and his family's sleeping with the Saudis played no part in his decision. Since then the administration has focused all of its energy on forcing allies and enemies alike to bend to our will. Why strive for consensus when you can use force? Why elicit support for policies when you can just shove them down everyone's throat? All of that bullying works for a while but sooner or later someone pushes back. Europe isn't the paper tiger that it was after WWII and compared to China's army, our armed force is a rounding error. Besides, China doesn't have to fight us, they just have to call in the loans and our economy starts to look like David Crosby's liver. The Bush administration has been singing the same song for six+ years; we know best and the rest of the world is stupid. Meanwhile the rest of the world is laughing up their sleeves at our flailing around in Iraq. It will take the next president years to restore American prestige abroad. He/she will spend all of their time bouncing from capital to capital saying things like "Sorry about that arrogant jerk that was around here before. He's gone now". Face it America, we're living on our reputation. We can't make a car that anyone wants to buy. We profess to a desire to stop illegal immigration but we employ almost all of the 12 million illegals that are here. Our infant mortality rate ranks 41st, just ahead of Croatia. Life expectancy in the US is 77.9 years, 42nd in the world. We think our health care is so damn good but in an eight country comparison, we ran dead last in death from respiratory disease and diabetes. These stats are not likely to improve as the boomers age. The administration wants to take credit for the drug coverage bill but won't explain why the government was prohibited from negotiating the price of the meds. You can thank the Republican-controlled house for that one too. No wonder Americans are shorter. We 're carrying around the legacy of George W. Bush. That load would make anyone sag.

...or should we wait before shoveling dirt on Karl Rove?

It is sooooo tempting. The person who raised Prince of Darkness to a cabinet post is calling it quits. The man most responsible for handing America George W. Bush has resigned his post as co-president/Rasputin to the White House's emptiest suit. Presumably he will slink back to hell or whatever moldy rock he crawled out from under. He can certainly leave with clean hands. He will not be the man that history remembers as the architect of the debacle in Iraq. The blood of 3,600 Americans and 75,000 Iraqis won't be on his conscience. Quotes like, "They will treat us like liberators", and " The oil revenues will pay for the war" will not be attributed to Mr. Rove. "Mission Accomplished" might have been his but, you'll never know it. As "the guy behind the guy" Rove is free to flit away to inflict yet more damage to America's prestige and status. Rove told Paul Gigot that he would have left last year but, after the Congressional hosing that the administration received in '04, Karl didn't want to leave on a sour note. That's actually funny. This is the guy responsible for more sour notes than your high school band in their tribute to John Williams. If you want to know why every thinking American (defined as those who vote regularly for the enlightened Democratic party) hates Karl Rove, I'll tell you...he beat the Democrats bloody every time and made it look easy. Hell, we helped him. The Rove saga begins in 1970. While a student at the University of Utah, Rove worked for the Republican party landing a job helping GOP candidates in Illinois. In Karl's case "helping" involved breaking into the campaign offices of Alan Dixon ( running for senator) and stealing 1,000 sheets of official campaign stationary. He then used the paper to print flyers promising free beer, food and girls to anyone attending a Dixon rally. The flyers were distributed at rock concerts and homeless shelters. His playbook for elective politics includes sifting through a candidate's garbage, a job he presumably reserves for himself. Rove has had two wives, no degree despite enrolling in several universities, and naturally, no military service. What he has is a history of dirty tricks and barely legal antics across 35 years of political puppeteering. This guy would make Chuck Colson blush. He's Dick Tuck without the leprechaun charm. Isitjustme is unable to provide background for all obscure historical references. Please Google any obscure people or incidents at your leisure. Rove really came into his own when he was asked to help defeat Ann Richards, the reasonably popular Democratic Governor of Texas in 1994. Karl had a somewhat spotty record as a political consultant up to that point. He helped John Ashcroft win a Senate seat in 1994 but six years later he assisted Ashcroft in his loss to a dead guy. Anyway, George W. Bush was the ideal candidate for Karl Rove; all hat no cattle. In George W., Rove saw a famous name attached to an affable, dopey cowboy that was never going to be invited to a Mensa clambake. Karl knew that as long as George stayed on script (and off the sauce) the sky was the limit. During the Texas campaign in 1994, Rove disguised political operatives as pollsters. They would contact voters and inquire as to whether they would vote for Gov. Richards if they knew that her administration was dominated by lesbians. Cute! Much to her ultimate chagrin, Governor Richards never took li'l George too seriously. One year later he was in the governor's mansion and she was selling Frito's in a super bowl commercial with Mike Dukakis. In the 2000 presidential race Karl knew that he had a winner in George W. Bush. All he had to do was flatten all of the other candidates. However, things were gloomy after the first few primaries. John McCain, war hero and tough campaigner, was winning. No problem. Before the South Carolina primary Rove masterminded an appeal to the Palmetto State's first love....racism. While George W. was speaking at Bob Jones University (the christian school that prohibited interracial dating) Rove's minions were telling SC residents that John McCain had fathered an interracial child. Is this guy a charmer or what? The rest is just more of the same. He chaired the White House Iraq Group whose mission was to sell the invasion of Iraq to the American people. Working with those Defender of the Truth, Dick Cheney and Don "generals don't know shit about war" Rumsfeld, America was sold the largest pile of camel droppings since Lawrence of Arabia. When New York was attacked, we wanted to strike back and old Karl was right there with a target. In 2004 George W. Bush was running for re-election on a train wreck of failed international policies. Once again it was Karl Rove to the rescue. In a political maneuver that may go on record as the best ever, Rove was able to turn John Kerry's valorous war record and three purple hearts into what has now become the most popular term in low-blow politics, "swift-boating". Still, we should not be too quick to consign Karl Rove to the ash heap of politics as blood sport. As long as Americans prefer bumper-sticker slogans over actual information Karl will always be with us. Wherever voters would rather respond to any nonsense (like John Edward's $400 haircut) than change positions in an election, the Karl Roves will prosper. Karl Rove knows what dirty little secrets American voters take into the voting booth. He knows your prejudices and your fears. His mission is to present a candidate that appeals to them. As we careen into the madness of 2008, the Karl Rove Playbook will surface. The question isn't whether any candidate will adopt the "win at all cost" philosophy of Mr. Rove. The question is how many.

...or should August 9 be a national holiday?

I'm thinking "Bomb Day". After all, August 9 has been littered with explosions since before the birth of Christ. To whit: 48 BC Julius Caesar defeats General Pompey at the battle of Pharsalus. Granted, no bombs were used but the outcome created quite an explosion in Roman politics. The republic was dealt a mortal blow and individual rights were all but eliminated when Caesar declared himself emperor. For a parallel, think George W. Bush after 9/11. By the way, Pompey fled to Egypt which, 2000 years later, gave us Osama bin Laden. Coincidence? 1930 Betty Boop (America's first animated bombshell) makes her debut in a short feature called Dizzy Dishes. Shortly thereafter, Ms. Boop checks into the rehab facility that now bears her first name. Her addiction to India Ink was never fully explained. 1936 Jesse Owens wins his fourth gold medal at the XI Olympiad in Berlin. America goes wild for Jesse until, of course, the newsreel footage reaches the States at which time Americans notice that Mr. Owens is black. Adolph Hitler, then German Chancellor, refuses to shake hands with Mr. Owens thus beginning a trend that would survive in the American South for the next 45 years. 1944 The United States Forestry Service introduces Smokey the Bear for the first time. The law firm of Tharrington, Smith & Hargrove of North Carolina (later to employ John Edwards) immediately filed a four billion dollar law suit alleging that the bear in the ranger hat and blue jeans is the property of someone else. They charge the Forest Service with propagating (wait for it) "second hand Smokey." 1945 Basically not a good day to be a tourist in Nagasaki. Harry Truman put an exclamation point on World War II by convincing Japan that if they didn't surrender right now, today, Japan would be converted into a parking lot for the first Asian WalMart.

1969 Quiz time. What happened on Aug 9 in 1969? That's right you sickwads - psychotics under the direction of Charlie Manson brutally murdered Sharon Tate, Abigail Folger, Jay Sebring, Wojciech Frykowski and Steven Parent in Los Angeles. Manson, who is now 73 and still crazy as a loon is, thankfully, still incarcerated. So are Leslie Van Houton, Susan Atkins, Patrica Krenwinkel, Bobby Beausoleil and Charles Tex Watson. Should any or all of these lovely folks ever get out of the joint, they are planning a reunion at the Spahn Ranch which will be converted to a hospice for the occasion.

1974 Everybody's favorite pinata, Tricky Dick Nixon finally, mercifully resigns the Presidency. Having noticed that even Checkers, the White House dog, was pissing on his administration, Mr. Nixon decided that a permanent vacation in San Clemente was preferable to a guest appearance on Court TV. Two additional indignities ultimately followed. In 1976 New York revoked his law license and in 1981 he was forced to live in New Jersey. Oh death, where is thy sting?

1993 Prince Albert II of Belgium is sworn in as king prompting a new round of interrogatories regarding tobacco, tobacco containers and Belgian monarchs.

2007 The Dow Jones Industrial Average falls 387 points. Ouch! If this trend continues, isitjustme could be forced to accept advertising... except, of course, on National Bomb Day.

...or are there only two types of health insurance: bad and none.

I have health insurance. I thank God and Dow Jones every day that I have it. I understand that at any time my insurance could go away and I would be forced to: 1) go to work (Aghhh!), 2) move to Canada (and I hate hockey) or, 3) pay about $800 a month for a policy. None of these are viable options. I am one of the lucky ones.





Nevertheless, "being covered" clearly isn't what it used to be. There was a time when a doctor visit or a routine procedure was fully paid for by your insurance company. Even with the advent of the "co-pay", "normal medical stuff" ( I will try to keep technical industry terms to a minimum) was paid in full.





Naturally, this epiphany arrives as a result of a personal experience. Like the folks at Jockey, I will attempt to be brief. I visited a medical facility recently for a somewhat routine test. Upon arrival, I was advised that Aetna Managed Care would cover all but $90 of the cost. Fine. I forked over the cash and away we went. A general anaesthetic was involved as was some lab work. All went well and I was on my way.





A few weeks later the bills started to arrive. $98 for lab costs; $51 for the gas-passer; and $40 for the doctor. The doctor bill surprised me so I inquired via the billing dept of the facility. My sarcasm was probably showing when I asked if I was the first patient with Aetna Managed Care to receive the procedure. If not, why didn't they add the 40 bucks to the $90 when I got there. A young lady informed me that the fee upon arrival was for the facility only. The doctor's bill was separate. Oh! Several additional questions leapt to mind but I knew that further interrogation was pointless. The overarching thought is that, even at $300 or so out of pocket, I was still pretty lucky.





It now seems that "fully covered" has gone the way of the nickel candy bar and morning postal deliveries. Having no facts at my disposal and even less interest in discovering any, here is my guess as to how we got to our present circumstance. First came medical insurance. You (or most likely your employer) paid a premium and you could go to the doctor at will. The doctor invoiced the insurance company for a fee that was considered "usual and customary". Insurance paid and all was well.





Then came the dreaded HMO. Doctors were restrained from billing for any amount beyond what the insurance company considered "fair". This was designed to limit the spiraling cost of health care and make a bundle for Blue Cross, Aetna and all the rest of the insurance companies.


Doctors protested. The cost of tongue depressors was rising every year, they said. Nurses want to be paid like medical professionals not Carmelite nuns. And don't even get me started on the cost of those paper night gowns.





Then it hit them. "We can charge whatever we like. Whatever the insurance company won't pay, we'll just charge the patient. When they see the bill that we sent to the insurance company for the operation or the x-ray (already seriously inflated) they'll feel grateful just to be paying $75 or $80."And so we have the birth of "medical cost creep". And I have it easy. I can just imagine what the parent of a sick child must have to deal with.

Employers have responded to the rising cost of insurance premiums by cutting benefits. Usually those most affected are workers at the bottom of the corporate ladder. Does anyone in America believe that the Fortune 500 CEO's are powerless to affect change if they felt it was in their best interest?



It doesn't have to be this way. Go see Michael Moore's "Sicko". (I'm sorry if you don't like his politics.) You will learn that other countries do health care better. None are perfect and no one wants to live like the Cubans just so we can get a free tonsillectomy, but ours is not the only way. If we would just look at how Canada, France, England and any one of 50 countries manages to provide care for all of their citizens, we might learn something.









Health care in America works if you are employed by a big corporation or if you work for the government (military personnel apparently excepted). It works (and most things generally do) if you're wealthy. It works if you were lucky enough to stay in the same place long enough to get long term benefits. (That would be me!).





Americans will go to the polls to oppose gay marriage and to exterminate abortion but no one votes for universal health care. I guess all those people in Kansas and Nebraska already have medical insurance. I hope the policy covers political myopia..

...or are you less informed the more you read?

"George Bush...keeping the world safe for theocracy."

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Rupert Murdoch now owns the Wall Street Journal. It feels like Jimmy Swaggart just bought the Catholic Church or Timex now owns Rolex.



Well, what's done is done so let's try to paint some lipstick on this pig.

In a world where A&P, RCA, and Marshall Fields are just a memory, one could look upon the the purchase of Dow Jones as a rescue. Rupert Murdoch is a smart, crafty businessman who genuinely believes in the power of the printed word. He has promised to invest millions in the Dow Jones' products especially the on-line component. He may leave his fingerprints on the news product but how does that make him different from the Sulzbergers at The New York Times or the Grahams at The Washington Post? He could hardly make the editorial page any more conservative.



The previous ownership, primarily the Bancroft/Cox families, cared about their dividends...period. Their idea of investing in Dow Jones was placing a really nice plaque on the headquarters building at One Financial Center. Their stewardship of the company over the last forty years was a train wreck. The trail of missed and mangled opportunities stretches from New York to Cape Cod. They installed newsmen as executives resulting in the loss of good reporters without uncovering good businessmen. Had the family walked away from the News Corp offer, serious cutbacks in news reporting would have been inevitable. Advertising revenues could no longer support the family stipend. Somebody has to pay for resurfacing the tennis courts.



Mr. Murdoch may not be Edward R. Morrow, but he has the resources and brains to ensure that The Wall Street Journal won't be nickel and dimed into a print version of the AP wire service. Let's let Rupert run things for a while before we judge. If things go badly, they can always sell to Larry Flint.




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In its never ending race with Chicago and Singapore to become the world's most over-legislated city, New York has passed a new "Noise Ordinance."




Apparently unsatisfied with the noise law of 1972, New York has reinvigorated this perplexing issue with a plethora of new prohibitions, including: a curb on dog barking (thus adding new teeth to the admonition "Curb Your Dog"), an attempt to modify the construction racket (and I thought that the "construction racket" had to do with the mob and cement), and, horror of horrors, the muffling of the hallowed Mister Softee truck. Mr. Softee (if he has a first name he's never said) can no longer play his nostalgic, if slightly irritating ditty while the truck is parked. The bells on the Good Humor truck have been spared for the moment.




Next, New York will attempt to increase the distance between itself and New Jersey to minimize the din from the speakers at Springsteen concerts in the Meadowlands.




The spectre of New Yorkers buying trans fat-laden french fries from men in black coats in dark alleys is clearly not enough to keep the NYPD busy. The police will now have to make room on their utility belts for noise meters and stop watches.

Dogs are permitted to bark for no more than ten consecutive minutes during the day and five minutes at night. Who writes these laws, The Monty Pythons. One can only imagine a bleary-eyed city councilman arriving to work raving about the damn dog in his building that keeps him awake all night. "Somebody should pass a law!" And thus you have laws about bike messengers, roller bladers, jay-walking, poop-scooping, smoking, trans fats and now, noisy pooches. If you really want to reduce the obnoxious racket in New York, do something about Donald Trump.






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Protestors from throughout Europe descended on Pamplona, Spain last month to express their outrage that the "sport" of bullfighting is allowed to continue. This demonstration however, has a twist. If you've ever been to Florida or the Caribbean you know how eager Europeans are to take their clothes off. Well, that penchant has been extended to social protest. Many of the demonstrators in Pamplona are marching topless or naked. Do these folks know how to draw a crowd, or what?

One young lady said that people are drawn to the cause more readily if there is nudity. Duh! At least the men seem interested in the protest. Most don't know what the protest is about but they don't seem to care. Many were carrying signs that read, "Show us your commitments."

Perhaps Dennis Kucinich and Ron Paul could invigorate their presidential campaigns with a little skin.



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As many of you know, isitjustme has never been a fan of organized religion. That antagonism has found a special outlet with regards to the Roman Catholic Church. This is your garden variety love-hate relationship. Having been raised an RC, I sang in the choir and was an unmolested altar boy. My issue has always been that Rome seems determined to drive folks away from the Church rather than inviting them in. The Vatican's war against "relativism" has positioned The Church in a race with Islam to return its faithful to the 14th century.



Nevertheless, the return to the Tridentine Mass (that's the Latin Mass for you philistines) is a wonderful idea and I can't wait to go. Pope Benedict XVI has decided that after almost 50 years of Mass in the vernacular, Catholics can now attend services in Latin without suffering liturgical whiplash.



For those among you that have never attended Mass in Latin, allow me to point out some of the blessings:





no guitars



minimal responses



no hand shaking

and

a merciful end to English hymns that sound suspiciously like really bad Broadway show tunes.



There is a little more kneeling and they still pass the collection plate but when you hear the Mass as interpreted by Mozart or Bach in Latin you will wonder why Pope John XXIII ever thought English or German would be an improvement. Maybe he just didn't like kneeling.

...or is GWB just doing what any good angler would do?

George W. Bush has learned a valuable if dangerous lesson, namely, that you can't fall off the floor. His approval ratings are so low that little harm would be done if he admitted ownership of the dog-fighting enterprise running out of Micheal Vick's Virginia home. Nothing short of a camping trip with OJ Simpson could reduce the President's popularity with the American people. Mr. Bush could develop a cure for cancer and be reviled for contributing to overpopulation.

With that fact in mind, Lonesome George felt perfectly comfortable commuting the prison sentence of Scooter Libby. I suppose that it could have been worse. He might have released Sirhan Sirhan or Charlie Manson. He could have pardoned John Allen Muhammad, the Washington sniper. He might have told Barry Bonds to forget about any potential perjury and drug charges and just play ball.

At the end of the day, Lewis Scooter Libby is a little fish. It seems only right that we throw him back. We wanted Rove. We wanted Cheney. (Oh, how we wanted Cheney!)We wanted one of those arrogant bastards that have been running America as though it were their own private grocery store. The level of disdain that this administration has shown for the rule of law is so egregious that even Nebraska is sick of it.

We now have a Vice President that actually believes that he can decide for himself what branch of government he belongs to and what laws apply to him. Christ, all Spiro Agnew did was take a little graft in Maryland! Even if there is some smoking gun (aside from the one he shoots old lawyers with) he would still have to be dragged into a courtroom. By the time Alberto Gonzales' Justice Dept. pulled their collective heads out of their asses it would be 2009 and Big Dick would be back at Halliburton stealing billions in defense contracts. Even his lesbian daughter's child couldn't crack his duplicitous public personae.

The real loser here, as always, the American system of justice. Whether you agree with this administration (all 31 of you) or not, every short cut, every wink and nod, every-get-out-of-jail-free card makes America just that much more cynical about our laws and our courts. Bill Clinton lies about Monica and, although tarnished, gets a pass. Ronald Reagan trades arms for hostages in violation of the law and gets a building and an airport named for him. George W. Bush lies us into a war where the death toll stands at 3,500 and suffers no more than a public relation black eye. No wonder Jon Stewart has to keep reminding people that his is not a real news show.

George Bush and his retinue of scoundrels are nevertheless prisoners of a sort. They can't appear at public functions these days because of the booing and the demonstrations. Mr. Bush was afraid to attend a Washington Nationals game because of the reception he was likely to receive. Tony Snow, the press secretary, wears a flack jacket.

So forget Scooter. He wasn't worth the bait to catch him. Whether he was going to spill his guts or not we'll never know. Maybe he'll write a book.

If you want to feel bad about something, repeat this phrase, " They've still got another 19 months in office".

...or are we all waiting for "Satanac Verses, The Musical"?

Everyone who read Satanic Verses raise your hands.

That's what I thought, nobody.


How about "Shalomar the Clown"?

Even the most pretentious among us (and that could easily be me) would find it difficult to wade through any of Salman Rushdie's oeuvre. But that didn't stop Queen Elizabeth II. As part of her birthday celebration on June twenty-third (This is interesting in and of itself. The Queen was born on April 21. Don't ask me...ask a Brit.) HRM bestowed a knighthood on Sir Salman. Rushdie isn't the first author to receive a knighthood (Walter Scott became one for writing about them). He may however be the first British author to have the entire Muslim world hunting his scalp.

As you may remember, the mullahs in Iran took exception to his portrayal of the prophet Mohammad in Satanic Verses. Well at least someone read the book! The death sentence imposed by a raging towel head in sandland was better for book sales than a kiss from Oprah. Most critics just employ a poison pen. Muslims were instructed to use real poison. (One could only imagine the uproar if the Pope issued a papal "fatwa" on say, Christopher Hitchens.) Anyway, so far Sir Salman is still breathing although each year he receives a Christmas card from Tehran reminding him not to stroll near any mosques.

I'm confident that the 30 or so people who have actually read any of Rushdie's thirteen books will attest to his skill as an author but, as an old Anglophile, I find the conferring of knighthood on Sir Salman just a bit off-putting. The British Crown is handing out titles with abandon. The Round Table will have to be moved out of doors to handle the crowd. I think you are eligible for Knighthood with a purchase of $50 or more at the British Museum Gift Shop.

Included among the honorees this year are Christiana Amanpour and Barry Humphries, better known to the cross-dressing crowd as Dame Edna. (One can just imagine what outfit Sir Barry wore to the investiture.) Hundreds of people get recognized every year. If Queen Liz has to tap each knight on the shoulder with a heavy sword she'd have carpel tunnel before she reached "K" in the alphabet.

Still, there are a few notables that have been overlooked. What about Robbie Coltrane? His portrayal of Hagrid in the Harry Potter films is as least as good as anything Dame Edna ever did; and he has better hair. And aren't we ignoring Dave Clark from the Dave Clark Five? And what about Benny Hill? Better get out that sword again, Mum. You still have all the Pythons to get through.

...or has Georgia become the center of the culture war?

Nothing wakes up this reporter like a story out of the Georgia courts:

Item

Genarlow Wilson will be freed from prison within a few days having served two years of a ten year stretch. His crime was having consensual oral sex with a 15 year old girl when he was 17. The operative word here is "consensual". The law at the time left judges with little sentencing discretion in cases like this. It has since been changed.

The Attorney General in Georgia is black, as is the defendant, so forget the race card. This is just another example of "hang 'em all and let God sort them out" justice that has gripped America in this new Conservative Christian Era. And just when we were applauding the Peach State for maintaining the integrity of public schools by retaining copies of the Harry Potter books in the school libraries.

Genarlow could still be charged with having oral sex. Yes, my friends, oral sex is still a crime in Georgia and 18 other states including Florida, Massachusetts, Minnesota and the District of Columbia. (Congress prefers its screwing the old fashioned way...with legislation.)

Still you would think that prosecutors had more important crimes to pursue than sexual experimentation among teenagers. Somebody call Ted Haggard to see if he would like to cast the first stone?







isitjustme update...FLASH... The State of Georgia is reconsidering the decision to release Mr. Wilson for fear that other sexual molesters will also petition for release. Great. Let's keep one kid in the slammer unjustly so the state won't have to deal with all of its other mistakes. I love this country.

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Attend the tale of Roy Pearson. In case this obscenity has escaped your notice (that's why we're here, folks) Roy is the administrative law judge that has filed and argued a $54 million law suit over the loss of a pair of suit pants. The "suit" was filed against the Chung family who own and operate Custom Cleaners in D.C.

There is no higher purpose here. Mr. Pearson, ( hereafter referred to as a-hole of the first part) is pissed because his best suit is now a sports jacket. He has hauled the Chungs into court to make a point (besides the one on his head). The Chungs have actually offered this mope $12,000 just to go away. The question as to why any judge would hear this load of tripe is a little more complex.

Pearson has been pursuing this quest for two years. He has built his case around a sign in the cleaner's window that says "satisfaction guaranteed". I suspect that his next stop will involve a Persian carpet store displaying a "going out of business" notice.







He has fought every attempt to send him home and has presented just enough law to be granted a hearing. Judge Judith Bartnoff, of the D.C. Superior Court is expected to rule next week. One can only hope that her ruling includes forcing Mr. Pearson to wear a sandwich sign to work that reads, "I'm the moron who thinks his Men's Warehouse suit pants are worth $54 million".

Note to Mr. Pearson...Good luck finding a non-Korean cleaners the next time your threads need a press.

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It appears all but certain that Rupert Murdock will soon be the proud owner of Dow Jones and The Wall Street Journal. For comparison, think Larry Flint owning Disney or McDonald's buying Lutece.

This is a sad day, indeed. Not just because I spent 37 years telling clients about editorial integrity and trusted news sources, but because America is running perilously short of information it can believe. In broadcast, CBS News is a shell of what it was in the days of Morrow and Cronkite. CNN is suspect (just listen to Lew Dobbs) and, as for Fox News, pa...lease. In print, there are no newspapers or magazines (including the Christian Science Monitor) that haven't been attacked for biased journalism. The Wall Street Journal was the one place where the news was seen as untainted (at least by people who understand the difference between news and editorial).

The day that Murdock gets his Aussie paws on The Journal, the credibility of the content will drop by 50%. Whether or not he ever sets foot in the newsroom the perception will be that his imprimatur is as prevalent there as it is at The Weekly Standard or Fox News.

So let's all thank the Bancroft family, soon to be former owners of Dow Jones. Considering that none of these Philistines had a hand in the creation of The Journal or Barron's or anything, they can't wait to profit from them. Apparently you can't be too rich or too boorish. Enough is never enough. We all hope that their 30 pieces of silver they receive from News Corp. keep them warm at night. In one greedy move they went from being the wealthy patrons of a public trust to just another pack of coupon-clipping mansion-dwellers with too much money and too little class. It is fondly hoped that they cart their millions back to Massachusetts and Rome and wherever the hell else they reside and wallow in the anonymity they so richly deserve.

Remember what it says in Mathew, 16 (slightly altered):


"What profit it a man to suffer the lose of his immortal soul even if he gain the whole world"

... but Rupert Murdock?

...is the news a little short of information?

This and that from the headlines:



Item


The Catholic Church has another of its middle managers off the reservation. Archbishop Raymond Leo Burke apparently didn't get the memo about love and forgiveness. As a one-man Inquisition (you can't Torquemada anything), Archbishop Burke has been in the news more than Anna Nicole Smith.


Since being installed as Archbishop of St. Louis, Most Reverend Burke has attempted to restore a measure of the temporal supremacy the RCC has not seen since the Reformation. He decreed that politicians supporting pro-choice should be denied Holy Communion. That was followed by the pronouncement that anyone who voted for such a candidate would likewise be denied the Eucharist. I suspect that the next bull (they call them that for a reason, you know!) would have condemned anyone that lived next door to a Democrat to perdition. However, Rome saw that the good archbishop was in fact, over-reaching. Archbishop Burke retracted his condemnation of voters shortly thereafter but I assume that his Most Reverend fingers were crossed.


He has spoken with disfavor of the Harry Potter books, calling them "irreligious". Considering that the inhabitants of Hogwarts wear flowing robes and change things by spells and incantations, one can only suppose that Most Rev.Burke is concerned about the competition.


Determined to leave no tern unstoned, he protested a Catholic hospital benefit concert featuring Sheryl Crow because of Ms. Crow's support of abortion rights and stem cell research. When the hospital board voted against him, he resigned as chairman. Talk about your spoil sports! Anyway, we wish Archbishop Burke well and joyfully anticipate the introduction of his new line of hair shirts and sterling silver cilices, sure to be a big hit at the Opus Dei Picnic and Swap Meet.




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In a fruitless effort to redirect my liberal soul to the path of conservative righteousness, a good friend of mine continuously bombards my email with links to sites that: a) support the war on Iraq, b) support George W. Bush and c) support all things Republican. Fat chance! Nevertheless, I occasionally click on one of these diatribes just to see how the other side lives and thinks.


However, something caught my eye yesterday that requires comment. A conservative blogger noted that back in 2004, the New York Times was printing daily stories about Abu Graib on the front page of the paper while relegating the presentation of the Medal of Honor to the "B" Section. On its face, that appears both biased and wrong-headed. Regardless of your political inclination, we understand that the Medal of Honor is a rare and prestigious award. Its presentation should be accompanied by respect and public acknowledgement.





Sadly though, at the rate with which this administration spins the news out of Iraq, it is difficult to know the truth of any information. We were told that Jessica Lynch was a courageous hero, raped and tortured by the godless enemy. Then Jessica came home and told us that she was anything but. She refused to accept praise that was undeserved. She went back to West Virginia where she resumed her former life. She has repeatedly criticized the Army for making up details for propaganda. Now that's heroism.


Then there's the saga of Pat Tilman, the Army ranger who quit pro football only to be killed by friendly fire in Afghanistan. The only truth we know thus far is that the Pentagon was so desperate to turn Tilman into the poster boy for American patriotism they barely investigated his death at all. His family is theatening legal action.


I'm sure that all of the heroes of this unnecessary conflict deserve the medals and decorations that have been awarded. However, when a government has shown itself to be as self serving and deceitful as this one, nothing can be taken at face value. It is not the bravery of our military that we question but the government spinners that provide the information. For them, even section "B" is too prominent.





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The subject of illegal immigration refuses to go away. I continue to be saddened and surprised by the venom with which so many Americans view this issue. Yes, Latin immigrants, illegal and otherwise are poor and poor people commit crimes and go to jail. They work for subsistence wages and therefore need a little help. Call it "welfare" if it makes you feel superior. Are we so far from the Irish slums of lower New York that the smell no longer seems familiar? Are the "Irish need not apply" signs so far in our past that we no longer feel the sting and the shame?




This discussion isn't about misguided California school boards who want bilingual education in their schools (something that Spanish speakers don't want and didn't ask for). It's about third and fourth generation Americans with an unnatural fear of Latin influences on American culture.


Who are we...the French? What is it we're protecting? Regardless of immigrants from Mexico, Americans will still have the God-given right to mangle the language, eat at McDonald's, watch "America's Funniest Home Videos", and send mildly pornographic jokes to their friends during working hours. Viva America!




You say that you didn't invite them but whenever you hire a lawn service or admire the greens at your country club, you invited them. When you bitch about the cost of a head of lettuce or a pound of tomatoes, you invited them. When you express surprise at the $20 breakfast bill at the diner, you invited them. If you think the cost of gasoline is out of sight, wait 'til you have to pay Americans to cut grass and bus tables.




Most of the people who are here illegally risked their lives to come. Considering their numbers, they are invisible to most of us most of the time. It's true that your taxes are used to provide assistance to an illegal underground population, but it can't be any more painful than the billions that George W. Bush is using to fight his immoral, unnecessary war.




I don't have a single answer to this problem but I'm pretty sure that hate and fear won't make it any better. Let's just have a hot dog and a cerveza and keep talking about it.

...or will America ever embrace a "smart" candidate?

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Al Gore was in Washington, DC this week addressing the students of George Washington University regarding his latest book, "Assault On Reason". (This is Al's fifth book which is one more than George W. Bush owns and two more than he has read.) One look at the SRO crowd packing Lisner Auditorium and you come away with a startling discovery: Al Gore is the hottest thing in politics (Fred Dalton Thompson notwithstanding).


Free of the consultants that crippled his run for president in 2000, Al has found his voice. Now that he is wearing a roomier pair of pants he has space for the all the intelligence that was squeezed out of the khakis he wore the last time. Should he decide to run (50-50 at this point) he will raise the level of discourse to a level befitting an American Presidential election. A sure road to disaster.

Sadly, even if Al gets nominated, he has virtually no shot to be elected. Middle America has shown time and time again that it has no love for candidates with brains. Exhibit A, of course, is the current occupant of 1600. Quod erat demonstrandum. If George W. is the benchmark for intellect in America, there is a real possibility that Barbaro (had he not died) could have been elected Governor of Kentucky.

Karl Rove sees Al Gore as a dream candidate. The easiest politician to defeat is someone that actually stands for something and has been foolish enough to write it down. Rove might have trouble with Obama. His record is too thin to eviscerate. Gore, on the other hand, is a political assassin dream. He admits to having read Gibbon's The Rise and Fall of the Roman Empire (GWB is waiting for the movie). He can discuss Galbraith, Mill and McLuhan (George understands them to be the heart of the Texas Rangers batting order). When challenged to "wax philosophically" Mr. Bush seems likely to reach for the Simonize. In an era of sound bites and catch-phrases, a candidate with intellectual credentials is a dead duck.

Recent examples abound. Disregarding the obsequious adoration being heaped on Ronald Reagan especially since his death, no one ever accused "The Great Communicator" of communicating any deep thoughts. Nevertheless, he defeated Jimmy Carter, himself a student of nuclear engineering, who was no match for a man who started every response with, "Well...".

Face it, Nebraska thinks that "elite" is a dirty word. "Intellectual" is a non-starter. Middle America wants the common touch. They want a down-to-earth guy (and it better be a guy's guy) who thinks like them. OK, hold that thought. Why would you ever vote for someone that thinks a perfect evening's entertainment is a six-pack of Coors and reruns of American Idol and Survivor, Fiji? What ever happened to America's Best and Brightest? Have they really been replaced by Dumb and Dumber?


America voted for George W. Bush because he didn't threaten anyone's sense of self. Eastern "intellectuals" like John Kerry (if Kerry is an intellectual, I'm Walter Winchell) appear smug to farmers in Missouri. Candidates from the East Coast act as if they know what's best for America and you're a hayseed. George Bush makes everyone around him feel smarter. He looks a little lost; like you or I would be. His language (whatever language he speaks) isn't polished. He has made being ordinary into a trademark. When he enters a room, the band should forget "Hail to the Chief" and strike up "Ode For the Common Man".

I have an idea! How about we nominate a candidate with an IQ in triple digits? How about we choose for the most important job in the world, a person who has more upstairs than a great haircut (John Edwards notwithstanding)? We're talking about a President who will not only have to lead America through a truly perilous time but will have to undo all of the harm done by Clueless George in the last eight years. It is imperative that, when someone says "boob" we immediately think of breasts rather than our Commander in Chief. Let's draft Al Gore for President. He's tan, refreshed and ready...and he has clearly had lunch!

... or can you never get too much of a good thing?

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We probably can't jail George W. Bush for being the most incompetent leader since Charlie Chaplin's Dictator so I guess we must be content flogging his hirelings. This brings us to the doorstep of one Monica Goodling (great name). Unlike the last Monica, it appears that Ms. Goodling did her "job" standing up.

Monica G. was a top aide to Attorney General Alberto Gonzales and as such is up to her briefcase in the US Attorney firings that have been in the news for the last few months. The rock-turning that uncovered Ms. Goodling also revealed an interesting fact. As of a recent survey by The Boston Globe, the Bush Justice Department had hired a staggering 150 graduates of Regent University Law School, Ms. Goodling among them. If you haven't heard of Regent don't be too surprised. It used to be known as CBN (for Christian Broadcasting Network) School of Law. The school is the incubation chamber for Pat Robertson's own brand of Christian lawyers. Those would be the ones that blame 9-11 on homosexuals... God's wrath, you know! Pat serves as President.

Loyalty to a particular school is charming but, considering the serious nature of the Justice Department's mandate one would hope for scholars from an institution higher in standing than the Acme School of Air Conditioner Repair. US News & World Report ranks Regent U. in the fourth which is the bottom tier. Apparently the only legal training that the Ashcroft/Gonzales Justice Dept. required was a working knowledge of the Ten Commandments.

In any event, Ms. Monica has resigned from Justice and exercised her right to avoid self-incrimination under the Fifth Amendment. Who says these kids don't know the law?

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After 20 plus years of hand wringing, the Senate has finally produced a bill addressing the issue of illegal immigration. I don't care how you feel about this problem, some praise should attend the document that Senators from both parties cobbled together. Before you trash the work done on this legislation, consider the following:

There are 12 million illegal immigrants in America.
We have no way to arrest and deport them and traffic being what it is, they are not likely to leave voluntarily.
Many illegals provide the workforce that, like it or not, keeps goods and services in America moving.
The vast majority of Latinos come here to work. They are not looking to rape the American economy by mooching free health care and free libraries.
Spanish speaking people will assimilate exactly the way the Irish, Italians and Poles assimilated. Their children will learn English (just like the Irish had to), because the American Dream that prompted them to risk their lives getting here doesn't come with Spanish subtitles.
American culture will be changed.


Now, armed with the facts as presented, how about we consider the new legislation as a starting point for a serious debate about the best way to handle a situation that already exists?

...or is a news roundup always a good idea?

Blogging a dead horse

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Paul Wolfowitz, the man that orchestrated the symphony that is the Iraq War, has been forced out of the presidency of the World Bank. Thank you, Jesus!

Do any of us care about the World Bank or who runs it? Of course not. What we care about is that a Bush appointee, fresh from miring America in a war we can't win, has been tossed out of a job on the world stage. Why? For slipping his honey the money. Delicious!

The L'affaire Wolfie is a microcosm of the Bush Administration's entire approach to foreign policy. Simply stated it goes like this..."We are America. We are always right. We are a super power and you're not. We will tell you what's good for you. Europe is full of a bunch of socialist, pseudo-aristocrats with no convictions and no balls."

It will take years to fix this mess. I hope we don't need the Europeans for anything important any time soon.

By the way, let's see how long Paul W. can hold on to his squeeze now that he's no longer the paymaster at the World Bank. Hey Paul, think e-harmony. Just don't tell them that you look like your face is melting.

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And speaking of holding on, Alberto Gonzales is about to join Mr. Wolfowitz on the unemployment line. You may remember Alberto for his efforts to include water-boarding as a spectator sport in Abu Ghraib Olympics.

It seems that Alberto's primary role as Attorney General for the Bush Cartel was to rubber stamp the firing of US Attorneys who weren't dancing to Karl Rove's tune. The logic went...if you're not vigorously prosecuting Democrats you're a slacker. Off with your head!

Once again, does anyone except the fired US Attorneys' mothers, care who serves in the Justice Department? No. What we care about is that yet another of the Bush team that duped America into war is headed for the stocks.

As for the other "warriors" in the Bush Circle, it appears likely that most of the villains in this piece will be allowed to sneak away before a case can be made against them. Rove's erased emails will keep him from the jailhouse door for the moment. Until we pass a law making arrogance and gross incompetence in office a felony, Rumsfeld will also escape the justice he so richly deserves. Cheney may yet see a courtroom. Valerie Plame has filed a civil suit over her outing as a CIA operative. This is coming to be known as, "OJ Justice".

George W. Bush, legally incapable of forming the intent to commit a crime, will hopefully spend the next 19 months having his picture taken with Tony Blair. His punishment will be writ large in the history books.

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A group of statisticians has determined that black players in the NBA are more likely to be called for a foul than white players when the official is white. What?

Who do we think imagined that this tragedy of social injustice needed investigation? Do Latin players suffer at the hands of white umpires? Where are Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson when we really need them? (I take that back. We never really need them.)

White NBA players must have been delighted to learn that, should they ever actually get into a game, the zebras will be pulling for them. No wonder Steve Nash and Dirk Nowitzki have been league MVP's for the last three years. The guys in the striped shirts are helping them run downhill. I understand that the officials in the NFL are having a more difficult time helping white football players. Must be the helmets.

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Ongoing Item



We are approaching four months and, wonder of wonders, Rev. Ted Haggard hasn't fallen off the gay wagon. It has been reported that most of his homosexual habits have been held at bay. He is no longer lobbying his local church to institute a "prayer brunch". He has discarded almost all of his spandex vestments. He has cancelled his subscription to Loins magazine. He still apparently listens to Streisand but only the soundtrack of Yentil.



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Item



The Commonwealth of Virginia is incensed that New York's Mayor Michael Bloomberg is running sting operations in Virginia to prove how easy it is to buy a gun in Virginia in spite of state and federal rules. Virginia is blustering to hide its embarrassment over the fact that guns are easier to buy than a pack of cigarettes.



I have an idea. Every time a gun shop owner sells a handgun in violation of the law, the purchaser can shot the vendor in the foot. I'll bet sellers would be a lot more careful if there was a chance that they might be the beneficiary of their malfeasance. OK so I can dream, can't I?

...or is giving a gun to everyone a really bad idea?

I was born in the wrong country.

While the other kids were watching The Man From U.N.C.L.E., I was tuning in to The Saint. America was all about I Spy but I was all about The Prisoner. OK, so everybody got James Bond but I got Harry Palmer. Cowboys like Jim West were much more appealing to me than the shoot first and ask questions later types.

As a result of this obviously twisted upbringing, you can imagine my reaction to the suggestion from some Virginia legislators, that all Virginia college students over the age of 21 be allowed to "carry concealed". Holy body bags, Batman! What kind of nutjob thinks this is a good idea? One such person is David Briggman. As a former police officer you would think that he would be familiar with the harm that guns can do and therefore welcome any restriction. You would be wrong.

Mr. Briggman is one of those folks that thinks if all of the Virginia Tech students were packing on April 16th, Seung-Hui Cho, America's newest three-name killer, would not have been able to murder 32 of his fellow students and wound 25 more. What an interesting theory!

For as horrific as the shootings in Blacksburg were, it's hard to imagine that the situation could have been improved if there were a real western-style gun battle. Imagine the collateral damage from that scenario. Five or six students firing back might have saved lives or they might have killed another half dozen by mistake. How would we treat those who shot students in the panic? Sounds like a great plot line for Law and Order.

How did we get to the point where a portion of our population feels that the solution to violence is more violence? You can't blame TV. The Canadians and most of Europe watch our shows and they are not running around armed to the teeth. There's something in our DNA that makes us believe that gunfire is the best way to settle an argument. Let's call it the JW (for John Wayne) chromosome.

It could be that our civilization is still very young. For the first 900 years of their existence as a country, the Brits solved every problem the same way...they declared war on France. Ditto for the French. From Hastings to Waterloo the English never met a Frenchman that wouldn't look better draped across his shield. By that reckoning, we still have another 700 or so years of madness ahead of us. Check, please!

Americans apparently feel helpless in the face of violent crime and the only logical response (if you can call it logical) is to fight fire with firearms. The fallacy of this argument is that most Americans couldn't shoot another person even if they thought the killing justified. If you think it's easy to shoot a person, ask a cop that has had to fire his/her weapon in the line of duty. If they tell you it was no problem, they're lying.

Europeans have apparently either had their JW chromosome removed or they have evolved to the point that, like prehensile tails, the gene went dormant and fell off. Unfortunately, so many Americans don't believe in evolution that surgery may be the only answer.

In the meantime, I need to weigh the pros and cons of moving to the UK.
Good things: beer, men's fashion, pubs (see also beer), accent.
Bad things : weather, cost, driving on the wrong side, women's fashion, dentistry.

I would have included Benny Hill on the good side but I understand he's dead. Gee, I hope some American didn't shoot him.

...has America learned nothing from 2000 & 2004?

My fellow Americans, I have asked you here today to discuss an issue that should be of paramount importance to the entire country. It would appear that, in spite of eight years of the most corrupt, inept, ham-handed, cynical government since Tricky Dick, nothing has changed. At a time when even Kansas is looking for candidates that stand for something...anything, the political podium is still populated with wannabes pandering to what is dumbest and most derisive in America.

As exhibit "A" please direct your attention to the ten geniuses running for the Republican nomination for president. During the first debate, held under the wing of a mothballed Air Force One, the "Gang of Ten" was asked how many of them believed in evolution. No foolin'! That's like asking how many believe that the theory of aerodynamics allows planes to fly. This was a chance for ten, presumably educated men, to join the entire scientific community and every American with an IQ of two digits, to proclaim that, faith aside, evolution was an established, scientific fact.

Well America, I hope you're happy with 70% because three of your presidential hopefuls reject what every scientist, including the Professor on Gilligan's Island, knows to be true. For those keeping score, this particular hall of shame includes Tom Tancredo, Sam Brownback (from Kansas. What a surprise!) and the Rev. Mike Huckabee. Thankfully, no follow-up questions were asked regarding the spherical nature of the Earth or the color of the dairy product that constitutes the composition of the Moon.

Now, you and I both know that every red-voting, Iraq-supporting, gun-loving, Jesus-hugging member of the "Republican Ten" has accepted evolution as a certainty. Several of them have had to make some sort of accommodation with their religious beliefs but it is impossible for anyone who has read anything more technical that "The Pet Goat" to reject evolution as anything but settled science. Gentlemen please, if you feel the urge to have your Christian right credentials stamped in public, stay with abortion and gay rights. At least that brands you as nothing more than a garden-variety cretin. Try not to add "Luddite" to your curriculum vitae.

I believe that the vast majority of voting America, if they watch these debates at all, wants to see a little backbone. So far, with a few exceptions, all of these candidates are leaning so far to the right that the Republican ship is listing to starboard (more, even, than usual). It took Rudi "the cross-dressing mayor" Giuliani to admit that he is in favor of a women's right to choose and even then he promised to appoint conservative judges who would, presumably, overturn Roe.

John McCain, who actually had some integrity in 2000, can't bring himself to state that the Bush administration has made a complete hash out of Iraq. He wrings his hands over "mistakes" and "missteps" without ever speaking the obvious... that no self-respecting soldier or general would follow George W. Bush into a men's room let alone into combat. I guess that McCain learned that principles, especially controversial ones, won't get you the nomination. Wrong!

McCain wasn't beaten in 2000 because he had core beliefs that differed from the Republican mainstream. He lost because he had beliefs at all. The "Party" (read Cheney, Rumsfeld, Rove, Wolfowicz, et al) wanted a lite-weight puff ball with an identifiable name and as little upstairs as possible. Hello George! If the Republicans could have found a dim bulb named Reagan, GWB would be clearing brush in Crawford for a living as we speak.

Just for the record, Hillary Clinton is doing the same dance on the Democratic stage. It seems that she is in favor of the war but, if she knew then what she knows now, she wouldn't have voted for it. Well, that settles that. I assume that that theory also applies to her marriage. (Sorry!)

Sadly, I suspect that none of the Republican Presidential hopefuls are reading my pearls of wisdom. If however, six degrees of separation brings any of my thoughts to the attention of any candidate, I'm begging you, Stand for Something. Take a position. Dare to be different. Even if you don't get to be President, you'll sleep better...unless, of course the theory of gravity is just a theory, in which case you'll just float around all night.

...or are you still missing the best stories?

More news you can't use.

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Pope Benedict XVI announced this week that the Catholic Church was closing Limbo. After an 800 year run, the Vatican has decided that unbaptized babies do go to heaven after all. None of the babies in question were available for comment but one can imagine their relief. Less relieved are the thousands of parents of stillborn children who were denied burial in consecrated ground for their babies. Over-organized religion has a lot to answer for.

Having resolved this compelling theological question, the Holy See will begin to unravel the more vexing concept of the infield fly rule.

As long as the Church is in such a wild and crazy mood, how about a re-think on condoms and women in the priesthood.

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A Sudanese man was forced to take a goat as his wife after he was caught having sex with it/her. You cannot make this stuff up!

And you were wondering why these places are referred to as the third world? If everyone in the Sudan was required to marry the barnyard animals with whom they had copulated, there would be a lot more pigs and sheep shopping the bridal dept. at Saks.

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Don Imus will be getting his first Christmas card this year from C. Vivian Stringer, coach of the Rutgers Women's Basketball Team. Thanks to the I man, Ms. Stringer (there's no crying in basketball) is the proud owner of a $450,000 contract extension. Although her success on the court should have been enough to insure a hefty raise, there's little doubt that her martyrdom at the hands of Don Imus provided some additional incentive for the president of her university.

Rutgers could hardly have stiffed the women who gallantly defended her players from a cruel slur that went largely unnoticed when it was first broadcast.

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It is being widely reported that Harry Reid, Democratic Senator from Nevada and Vice President Dick Cheney have been engaged in, what is being called, a war of words. This is significant in that it is the first war in which Mr. Cheney has actually taken an active role. Although the VP was a no show in Vietnam, he apparently feels that a 68 year old Mormon is less likely to inflict grievous bodily harm. And you thought that Cheney left his balls in that undisclosed location after 9/11. Shame on you.

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As most of you have heard by now, Rosie O'Donell is leaving her gig as one of the gabbers on The View. Apparently Rosie wanted a one year deal but ABC wanted her for three.

Never one to remain silent, Donald Trump, the hair piece from hell, opined that Rosie was fired.

Seemingly, no one mentioned to Don that ratings for The View are up 17% since Rosie joined the cast. And how does that compare with the numbers for The Apprentice? I thought you'd never ask. Since his first year in 2003, Trump's overall audience has dropped from 20 million to 10. I guess America's interest in watching a self-important creep trash a bunch of snotty kids in expensive suits has its limits after all.

I understand that you can now purchase the rights to the phrase "You're fired" on ebay right alongside Jimmy Walker's "Dy no mite!" and Hawaii Five O's! "Book 'em Dano".

...is the slaughter of 32 kids in Virginia enough for America to stop kissing the ass of the NRA?

Amendment II, United States Constitution

"A well regulated militia, being necessary to the security of a free state, the right of the people to keep and bear arms, shall not be infringed."

If you think that this reads like a blanket license to own as many handguns as a third world country, then you have less brains than a head of lettuce or George W. Bush.

I don't claim to know what was in the minds of the founding fathers when the Second Amendment was passed in 1791 but I know this; when the authors of our Constitution wanted to affirm a right or deny an action, they did it.
"Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion...".
"No soldier shall, in time of peace, be quartered in any house without the consent of the owner...".

These amendments seem clear, don't they? No extra words. No intentionally ambiguous language. Why then, if the framers wanted Americans to have an unrestricted license to own firearms, did they insert the phrase, "A well regulated militia, being necessary.." into the second amendment?

The only logical conclusion is that the leaders of this new country wished to make a distinction between arming the populace for the common defense and the arbitrary and unfettered ownership of ordnance. Why is that so difficult to grasp?

No one is suggesting that the tragedy at Virginia Tech would have been averted if the gun laws in Virginia were more stringent. However, the ease with which Seung-Hui Cho was able to purchase two handguns and over 200 rounds of ammunition make the State a facilitator in the crime. The requirements for gun ownership in this country are so lax and porous as to be useless. America is not serious about restricting the purchase of handguns. Period.

Don't look to the White House for leadership or guidance on this issue. Clueless George is too busy trying to repeal the ban on assault weapons in the District of Columbia. That sounds like the single stupidest idea since ...say the invasion of Iraq. Why is there absolutely no political fallout from the attempt to arm Washington's gangs with machine guns? Because, say it with me, America is not serious about restricting the purchase of guns...any guns.

No one has asked for my opinion about gun ownership but as long as you're here, you might as well hear it.

1) Hunters can keep their rifles and shotguns. (I know that's big of me) I'm not a hunter but I get it. Most hunters are obsessively careful about the storage of their weapons anyway.

2) No one gets to carry a handgun or keep one in their home. If you like to shoot targets leave the gun at the range. If you get caught with a gun in your home you do three months in a county jail. People who think they need guns for protection, be my guest, but if you get caught you're going inside.

This includes the police department. Whoever dreamed up the idea of cops being on duty 24 hours a day never spent any time in a cop bar. Knowing that most of these inebriates are armed to the teeth is a sobering thought. Why should a police officer carry a concealed weapon at all times? Are sanitation workers required to pick up trash wherever and whenever they see it? Are teachers compelled to point out the historical inaccuracies of a movie while at a matinee? The police should be allowed to be as stupid and unruly as the rest of us without the fear of a .38 caliber exclamation point to an argument. Leave the gun at work.

3) Stop imports. We have plenty of companies dealing death in the US without help from Glock and Beretta.

4) We should begin to help Smith and Wesson and Remington get into a new line of manufacture. They can make rifles and shotguns as well as handguns for law enforcement and the military but only under contract and in limited supply.

5) Every advance in technology so far thwarted by the NRA should be adopted and implemented including gun registration, tagging the chemical composition of gun powder and, adopting fingerprint-recognition for gun triggers. Every gun gets registered. Every bullet for every weapon gets registered.

Wake up America. Guns kill people and the ease of purchase in this country makes the carnage at Columbine and Virginia Tech too easy and too frequent. We put millions of guns in the hands of our citizens and then affect shock when someone points one at another human being. At the risk of appearing insensitive, I suggest that the mourners currently decorating the Blacksburg campus with flowers begin to demonstrate at the Fairfax, VA home of the NRA. Get angry, people or get ready for the next tragedy.

...or did these stories slip past?

There are no slow news days, only slow bloggers.

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George Christian, executive director of the Library Connection, has denied the FBI access to library records in the Hartford, Conn. area. Well, hats off to George. Who would have guessed that one librarian in New England would have more balls that the entire 535 members of Congress (Nancy Pelosi notwithstanding).

The Patriot Act is the worst single piece of legislation since the Alien and Sedition Laws enacted under John Adams. The Bush administration used the attack on 9/11 to enact a draconian set of abridgments to American freedom and repeal is long overdue.

Mr. Christian was quoted as stating that freedom of speech is still alive and well in Connecticut. There is, however, still no talking in the library. Shhhhhhhhhhh!

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The Department of Defense has extended the tour of duty of soldiers serving in Iraq from twelve to fifteen months. If that doesn't sound like a big deal to you than you have never served in an overseas assignment in the military.

From the moment a soldier or Marine sets one boot down in-country, they start counting down the days until they arrive at what used to be called, the "big wake-up" to go home. Having only a few weeks before leaving was known as being "short" and it was the best feeling there was. To have your time in-country extended by three months is about as demoralizing as getting a "Dear John/Joan" letter (or maybe it's a "Dear John/Joan" e-mail now). Anyway it sucks big time and it's a lousy thing to do to the kids that volunteered for this disaster. Shame on Don Rumsfeld and George Bush for trying to fight this war on the cheap.

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The paternity of Anna Nicole Smith's estate has been narrowed down to one blond a-hole. It appears that Anna Nicole had more boobs in her life than the two double D's she was buried with. Call me old fashioned but should it really take the combined scientific resources of two continents to discover the identity of this child's father? Why not just advise all parties that there is absolutely no money involved then wait to see who doesn't head for the airport? He's the dad.

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Ted Haggard is still straight after more than two months. Praise God and pass the Appletinis. Witnesses say that, during a prayer meeting in Madill, Oklahoma, Rev. Haggard jumped to his feet and ceremoniously burned his Judy Garland cd's and reduced his pink golf shirts to ashes. Unfortunately, repeated prayers have failed to miraculously heal the earring hole in his right ear. We're pulling for you Rev.

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Because of the equal time rule in political campaigns, the producers of Law & Order might be required to shelve any episode featuring possible presidential candidate Fred Thompson as NY District Attorney Arthur Branch.
In a related story, the presidential candidacy of Rep. Dennis Kucinich is causing the Cartoon Network to consider suspending future episodes of Sponge Bob Squarepants.

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For you Fordham fans out there, attend the tale of Daniel Gross, third year law student at FU School of Law and a latter day Norma Rae. Gross is a former barista, that's a guy who earns beans for cooking up cups of coffee at Starbucks that cost more than the GNP of Brazil. (I thought that a barista was a South American lawyer.)
Anyway Daniel is trying to organize the employees of Starbucks to join the Starbucks Workers Union, an affiliate of the IWW. (Who knew they were still around?). This idea is about as popular with Starbucks as ten cent latte. In a Stepford-like response to inquiries, Starbucks claims to "respect" the right of "partners" (Starbucks-speak for employees) to organize. Of course they do. They also respect the rights of employees to get their union-joining asses over to Carabou and apply for a job there.

Companies like Starbucks can't exist without an army of part time, semi-skilled workers who get few benefits and have no rights. Unlike Circuit City, a company that unconscionably fired many of it's higher paid employees because they were highly paid (compared to a homeless person), Starbucks can't claim that competition is forcing them to cut costs. They make more on a cup of pretentious, cold coffee than a movie theater does on a large popcorn.

So man the barricades. Let's all line up behind Daniel Gross and his band of pseudo-socialists. Stand up America! You have nothing to lose but your decaf, double shot dulce de leche latte. No foam please.

...or are we done with roasting Don Imus?

Enough already!

The Washington Post actually carried three separate stories on Wednesday about America's latest "offensive racial slur". The Pope wouldn't get this much ink if he announced that he planned to marry Madeline Albright.

Imus has been doing offensive humor for his entire radio career. It's the only thing moderately amusing about the show. Listening to Imus and his sidekicks poke fun at Al Sharpton, Rush Limbaugh and Woody Allen (not to mention the current and past New York Archbishops) was blessed relief from the ramblings of Imus' brother Fred and endless, insufferable dissertations on the intelligence of Imus' wife and son.

The level of outrage in the black community is, as it has been before, out of all proportion to the event. Al Sharpton was on the airwaves faster than you can say Tawana Brawley. Jesse Jackson, a little slower than he used to be, was picketing in front of CBS in plenty of time to make the six o'clock news. The coach of the rightfully offended Rutgers Women's Basketball team was actually crying during her televised statement. (There's no crying in basketball!)

This offense just does not rise to the level of Abner Louima or Amadou Diallo. Although I do not have the right to decide what will offend someone else, neither should Jesse and Al decide what offends ten women basketball players from New Jersey.

Now before you all insist that I have my liberal credentials re-validated, hear me out. Intent matters. How you say something, who says it and the circumstance under which you say it matters. If someone yells a racial or ethnic epithet at you in traffic, do you cry? Of course not. You flip them the bird and continue driving. If Chris Rock had said this on the Imus show, there would be no story and no apology.


However when Mel Gibson opines that Jews are the cause of all wars and directs that statement to a Jewish cop, the cop should be offended and by extension, so should the Jewish Community.

Imus thinks that if you are outrageous enough over a long period of time and if you attack all racial and ethnic groups equally no one will take offense. "We kid because we love". I'm guessing that a lot of people sitting in the front row of Don Rickles' concert were plenty offended but, hey, we're only kidding.

Whether Don Imus is a racist is entirely beside the point. Whether I'm an alcoholic or not, if I drink too much and throw up in your car, I can expect consequences. There are lines in comedy and Imus crossed one. He is now paying the price. Let's move on. By the way, can you imagine the size of the bouquet of roses that Albert Gonzales sent to Imus for taking him off the front page for a week?