Reasons to move to France, Vol II or maybe III:
On Thurs., Sept 23 at 9:00 PM, the Commonwealth of Virginia proved once again that vengeance is alive and well in America. Teresa Lewis, judged barely mentally competent to stand trial for the contract murder of her husband and stepson, was executed by lethal injection. Republican Governor Bob McDonnell denied a plea for clemency. Shocking!
Teresa Lewis did the crime. She confessed to it. The actual murderers who were hired to do the deed testified against her. Both are serving life, having bargained their testimony to avoid the gurney. So the happy conclusion here is that the prosecutors in Richmond decided to allow the actual killers to live in return for a slam-dunk capital murder case against a woman with the IQ of a bag of Doritos. See, the way that works is, we here in Virginia are so tough on crime and criminals we'll execute feeble women, children (except the wussy Supreme Court says we can't) cute dogs, even people already dead. Naturally, the civilized world is outraged. Wimps!
Still, when you get a lesson in double standards from Iran you might want to pay attention. Everybody's favorite pain-in-the-ass Mahmoud Ahmadinejad compared the lack of Western outrage over the execution of Teresa Lewis to that of the possible stoning of an Iranian woman sentenced to death for adultery. Although it's hardly a parallel case, adultery isn't murder and stoning isn't lethal injection, he has a point. When the subject is state sponsored executions we have a serious blind spot. We kill our citizens for offenses deemed sufficient to warrant the punishment. Should we not also allow other countries the same latitude? As to the method of execution: beheading, electrocution, hanging, stoning; tomatoes-tomatos, right. Dead is dead. Face it, we have a lot more in common with Bedouin tribes and theocratic dictatorships than with civilized countries when the subject is law and order.
As to how the state-sponsored death of a mentally challenged woman glorifies any aspect of life in these United States or makes us better as a country, I'm at a loss to explain. Maybe Governor McDonnell knows. Tea-baggers want government to accept that America is a Christian country. Explain how being Christian squares with capital punishment.
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But all is not lost. Executions in Kentucky and Oklahoma have been postponed. Sadly, the reason for the stays is not compassion but a shortage of sodium thiopental, the anesthetic portion of the lethal cocktail. Considering the speed with which Southern States are ordering the drug, no one should be surprised. Hell, why not just bang the condemned over the head with a ball bat. That would really offend the Iranians.
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An American staff sergeant is accused of planning the killing Afghan civilians for no other reason than hating them. Staff Sergeant Calvin R. Gibbs supposedly led a team of five American soldiers including Specialist Jeremy Morlock in the random murder of people whose only crime was- wrong place, wrong time. Can't you just hear Lee Greenwood singing "I'm Proud to be an American"?
This story isn't fully written yet and trials are a long way off but, if true, America needs to forget our Status-of-Forces Agreement with Afghanistan and turn these fine examples of American manhood over to the Afghans for sentencing. If they wish to appeal, tell them to call Bob McDonnell.
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But enough about executions and murder, how about Bishop Eddie Long of New Birth Baptist in Atlanta? Having started with almost nothing, Bishop Long currently boasts a congregation of 25,000, up from 300 in 1987. On his way to celestial glory, (his followers believe he is "anointed". By whom, exactly, we're not sure) Bishop Long has offered spiritual guidance to famous athletes and a few politicians. Unfortunately he has also used his powers of persuasion to seduce four young men in his congregation. The four are suing Bishop Long for sexual abuse.
Naturally, Bishop Long has been a vocal opponent of gay marriage and the homosexual lifestyle. Note to self: When a preacher rails against promiscuity, check his car ashtrays for condom wrappers. When he cries to God about the evils of homosexuality, search his desk drawer for his La Cage aux Folles keepsakes.
This is just another chapter in the mega-church fraud game. Another talented carnival barker using religion to feed his own lusts and lifestyle. Bishop Long is a caricature writ large. He travels with an entourage. His car is a Bentley. His 230-acre Baptist complex is one of the largest and most powerful voices in the Black Christian universe. No one would normally care about another self-aggrandizing bible thumper getting caught not practicing what he preaches except that these charlatans have influence. It was the black Christians of California that denied the right of marriage to gays in the Golden State. Please, people, stop listening to these false prophets. Worship at Burger King. At least you'll get lunch.
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This just in...a man shot and killed himself on the sixth floor of the University of Texas Library in Austin. WOW. Who would have suspected that a library in Texas would actually have six floors?
What? Too soon?
Showing posts with label Mahmoud Ahmadinejad. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Mahmoud Ahmadinejad. Show all posts
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
Monday, June 08, 2009
...or is America acting as though the only thing we have to fear is ...everything?
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OMG!
Ahmed Ghailani is in America. Hide the children! Lock up the women! Buy yourself a gun! No, two guns!
Who, might you ask, is Ahmed Ghailani? Is he Lex Luthor come to life? Perhaps the reincarnation of Vlad Dracul? Hannibal Lector in the flesh? To hear the timid John Boehner of Ohio tell it, Ghailani is swine flu and Y2K all stuffed into an orange jumpsuit.
Actually, Ahmed Ghailani is a terrorist suspect who has been transferred from Guantanamo to New York to stand trial for allegedly participating in the 1998 embassy bombings in Kenya and Tanzania. He stands accused of 286 counts (that's a lot of counts) of whatever you do to get charged 286 times. I'm guessing one count for each person killed or wounded in the explosions. To my knowledge, he was not transported in a straight jacket and a tricked-out hockey mask.
To watch some senators and congressmen quake, you would think that Mr. Ghailani planned each detail of the attacks personally as well as those of the U.S.S. Cole, the bombing of the Marine barracks in Lebanon in 1983 and the explosion of the U.S.S. Maine in San Juan Harbor in 1898. These fearless leaders are terrified that America's Judicial machinery and the U.S.Prison Systems will not be up to the task of incarcerating this guy. Apparently our lawmakers think that the jail cells that held John Gotti, Charlie Manson, Manuel Noriega and Phil Spector are not up to the superhuman powers of a 35 year old Tanzanian forger. Our brave congresspersons have apparently forgotten that four other terrorists, previously convicted in the same bombing are currently serving lengthy sentences in our inadequate prison in Florence,Colorado.
At what point did we become such a timid country? The mere suggestion that detainees from Guantanamo might be tried and released in America (an eventuality which has been suggested by no one with a job in government) sends our citizens running for cover. And exactly what would happen if Mr. Ghailani were to be freed on Main Street U.S.A.? Do we imagine that he would get a job bagging groceries at Giant, buy a gun and quietly plan for the overthrow of America? We already have plenty of home-grown nuts engaged in that pursuit. Perhaps he would buy a house in suburbia and infiltrate the PTA.
Holy gonads, people! We fought World War II. I'm guessing we are strong enough to put a few prisoners on trial. Just be careful who you elect to the presidency of your home town swim club. He might be an alumnus of the University of Guantanamo.
In a related story, another country, apparently one with more spine than we have, has volunteered to take several of the Guantanamo prisoners off our hands. But who? What country has the fortifications to handle these criminals? Is there a nation with the force of will to face down an enemy that has America quaking in its Doc Martins?
Yes, it's that well known fortress of solitude... Bermuda. The government in Hamilton has agreed to take four Chinese Uighurs who had been held without charge or trial by the Bush government for seven years. Bermuda joins the growing list of brave countries such as Albania and Palau that have agreed to take responsibility for America's mess. We should be so proud. We appear to the world as standing on a chair shrieking while middle eastern mice run under our feet. It's not hard to fathom why Kim Jong Il and Mahmoud Ahmadinejad aren't impressed with our threats. Maybe we should enlist the army of Palau?
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...and now for something completely different.
Chastity Bono, daughter of the late Sonny and Cher, (We suspect that Cher is actually dead. She just refuses to lie down.) has decided to undergo "gender reassignment". And we all thought Sonny was the nutty one! Mr. Bono the younger (the transmigration has already begun) will be called Chaz.
Although Mr. Bono has declined interviews (probably 'til his voice modulates) people close to his people assume that the decision was brought about by Chaz's inability to appreciate his mother's singing as long as he was a woman. One source suggested that "as a woman Chastity couldn't understand why anyone would pay to hear her mother sing. Apparently, the only way to enjoy Cher's voice is to become a gay man." Chastity was prepared to undergo gender reassignment ("what the hell I'm gay anyway!") in order to understand what others are experiencing. "Gay men hear something that I don't", said Mr./Ms. Bono. Chaz has decided that, even if after the procedure, Cher still sounds like an adenoidal aardvark the experience will still be beneficial. "I already like show tunes but I never got Judy Garland. Maybe owning gonads will help."
Insiders were unsure as to whether this surgery is more or less radical than some of the things that medical science has done to her mother. One thing is clear, the daughter Cher already has will become the son she always wanted. Who says there are no happy endings in Hollywood?
OMG!
Ahmed Ghailani is in America. Hide the children! Lock up the women! Buy yourself a gun! No, two guns!
Who, might you ask, is Ahmed Ghailani? Is he Lex Luthor come to life? Perhaps the reincarnation of Vlad Dracul? Hannibal Lector in the flesh? To hear the timid John Boehner of Ohio tell it, Ghailani is swine flu and Y2K all stuffed into an orange jumpsuit.
Actually, Ahmed Ghailani is a terrorist suspect who has been transferred from Guantanamo to New York to stand trial for allegedly participating in the 1998 embassy bombings in Kenya and Tanzania. He stands accused of 286 counts (that's a lot of counts) of whatever you do to get charged 286 times. I'm guessing one count for each person killed or wounded in the explosions. To my knowledge, he was not transported in a straight jacket and a tricked-out hockey mask.
To watch some senators and congressmen quake, you would think that Mr. Ghailani planned each detail of the attacks personally as well as those of the U.S.S. Cole, the bombing of the Marine barracks in Lebanon in 1983 and the explosion of the U.S.S. Maine in San Juan Harbor in 1898. These fearless leaders are terrified that America's Judicial machinery and the U.S.Prison Systems will not be up to the task of incarcerating this guy. Apparently our lawmakers think that the jail cells that held John Gotti, Charlie Manson, Manuel Noriega and Phil Spector are not up to the superhuman powers of a 35 year old Tanzanian forger. Our brave congresspersons have apparently forgotten that four other terrorists, previously convicted in the same bombing are currently serving lengthy sentences in our inadequate prison in Florence,Colorado.
At what point did we become such a timid country? The mere suggestion that detainees from Guantanamo might be tried and released in America (an eventuality which has been suggested by no one with a job in government) sends our citizens running for cover. And exactly what would happen if Mr. Ghailani were to be freed on Main Street U.S.A.? Do we imagine that he would get a job bagging groceries at Giant, buy a gun and quietly plan for the overthrow of America? We already have plenty of home-grown nuts engaged in that pursuit. Perhaps he would buy a house in suburbia and infiltrate the PTA.
Holy gonads, people! We fought World War II. I'm guessing we are strong enough to put a few prisoners on trial. Just be careful who you elect to the presidency of your home town swim club. He might be an alumnus of the University of Guantanamo.
In a related story, another country, apparently one with more spine than we have, has volunteered to take several of the Guantanamo prisoners off our hands. But who? What country has the fortifications to handle these criminals? Is there a nation with the force of will to face down an enemy that has America quaking in its Doc Martins?
Yes, it's that well known fortress of solitude... Bermuda. The government in Hamilton has agreed to take four Chinese Uighurs who had been held without charge or trial by the Bush government for seven years. Bermuda joins the growing list of brave countries such as Albania and Palau that have agreed to take responsibility for America's mess. We should be so proud. We appear to the world as standing on a chair shrieking while middle eastern mice run under our feet. It's not hard to fathom why Kim Jong Il and Mahmoud Ahmadinejad aren't impressed with our threats. Maybe we should enlist the army of Palau?
___________________________________________________________________
Item
...and now for something completely different.
Chastity Bono, daughter of the late Sonny and Cher, (We suspect that Cher is actually dead. She just refuses to lie down.) has decided to undergo "gender reassignment". And we all thought Sonny was the nutty one! Mr. Bono the younger (the transmigration has already begun) will be called Chaz.
Although Mr. Bono has declined interviews (probably 'til his voice modulates) people close to his people assume that the decision was brought about by Chaz's inability to appreciate his mother's singing as long as he was a woman. One source suggested that "as a woman Chastity couldn't understand why anyone would pay to hear her mother sing. Apparently, the only way to enjoy Cher's voice is to become a gay man." Chastity was prepared to undergo gender reassignment ("what the hell I'm gay anyway!") in order to understand what others are experiencing. "Gay men hear something that I don't", said Mr./Ms. Bono. Chaz has decided that, even if after the procedure, Cher still sounds like an adenoidal aardvark the experience will still be beneficial. "I already like show tunes but I never got Judy Garland. Maybe owning gonads will help."
Insiders were unsure as to whether this surgery is more or less radical than some of the things that medical science has done to her mother. One thing is clear, the daughter Cher already has will become the son she always wanted. Who says there are no happy endings in Hollywood?
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